mormon in manhattan : (NO) sex and the city

find SPIKE

2012-03-08T23:46:00.005-05:00

and nicole will give you a free photoshoot..

just seen near Harmons in OREM.

please call Julie if you see him!

801-361-6699

seeing the big picture

2012-03-06T23:54:00.001-05:00

our dear family friend, kevin cope,
wrote the coolest book,
seeing the big picture: business acumen to build your credibility, career & company.
it's supposed to be an MBA in 180 pages....
yes, please.

i think it'd be an awesome father's day gift.
it was just released & is already #1 on amazon.
i can't wait to read it.

have you seen spike?

2012-03-06T23:47:00.001-05:00

he's our dog zippy's son.
he went missing today around 800 north in Orem, UT.
he doesn't have tags but he is chipped.

have you seen him?

{ the bachelor- ben } episode 10 - women tell all

2012-03-06T15:14:00.000-05:00

sorry, dolls.

i had to fly back to nyc last night so i watched 3/4 of this with the fam then high tailed it to the airport.

i'll be sad not to have the family on the finale comments, but i've already started putting together a wild cast of characters so you won't be disappointed.

this is probably the second most humiliating night after the first cocktail party- these girls just hope to look better and save face and it's just SO uncomfortable.

i'm living for the smug looks on all the judgy women in the audience.
obviously courtney is there for damage control because he's clearly choosing her.
as if i care...
they deserve each other.
did you see ben's youtube music video?
keepin' it classy, ben.
the former contestants are a petrie dish of stds.
is that honey bo bo child dancing?
kasey and lisa p are so gross.
stacy got a nose job?
ugh. ed is the worst.
ed is sexy? obviously, the bach ups these douchebag's cred. that guy couldn't nail a girl with a hammer.
solar panels!!!
ryan is working that velvet blazer.
michelle $ has had some work done... and no sleep.. is that it?
go away, ali. nobody is interested.
i just have a picture in my mind when they say "connecting"... and it's not good.
wooooah! what's with the snazzy showman jacket, frank?
did you steal that from the frankie valli dressing room @ jersey boys?
eew! he has scary eyes! they're not kind!- mom
how many hair pieces does ali have.
oooh man, erika is my all time favorite.
she just tells it like it is.
please bless the crazy blogger hits bachelor pad.
do you think all the nuts have to leave their meds when they check in to the bachelor pad? none of those kids are medicated & they really need it.
this season gave us some of the biggest whack jobs we've seen yet.
skanks on a bench!!
woah! nikki. bad angle.
another one-shouldered moment from nikki- didn't she learn from that wretched toga?
"sexy bachelor" that's an overstatement.
courtney actually had makeup on in the beginning!
blakely is a vulger version of my beautiful friend Merrill.
britney lost weight.
casey s- usually en pointe but she's wearing purple lipstick with an orange shirt. #miss.
poor jamie. that was one of the most awkward moments in history.
we did that square movement in the "nicest kids" choreography in HAIRSPRAY.
jaclyn is pulling some shrek faces.
blakely looks like shania- nina.
michelle finally did her roots. good color.
woah! that girl is a haggy psycho! she makes blakely look normal.
she's kinda like a Chihuahua.
go jamie.
good point.
blakely seemed more normal on camera. these girls clearly hated her off screen.
yes, britney! the only normal girl in america- none of us are attracted...
HOWEVER, she's the one who wanted to be there and brought the grandma....
emily's eyeliner is just too much.
like a wilted cleopatra.
that samantha is a MESS! hot mess.
her voice hurts my chakras.
Chihuahua!!!!!!!!!!!! exactly!!! that's what i said!!
harrison is loving this.
chris harrison has the best job ever.
did i mention that this is one of my favorite episodes ever?
jaclyn needs to practice her faces in the mirror. yikes.
i love shawntal's dress.
she looks great.
i'm still mad that she didn't wear a bra.
jersey's shore "who IS she?!" will be a classic bachelor soundbite.
um.. no. shawntal does NOT have thicker thighs than that strange grecian train wreck.
she has gorgeous legs.
that nail polish is a mess with that dress color.
that jersey shore girl has been doing some serious GTL'ing.
good for jersey shore. nice apology.
em. that neckline doesn't fit.
elyse is gross.
erika .. no, this DOESN'T make sense because YOU don't make sense.
emily is the coolest. and her body rocks but that dress is a mess.
and i sorta hate that color.
she's too smart for ben.- mom re: emily
her body is amazing.
you watch her and she looks fun- nina.
she's way too cute for him- mom.
she's the first one to call out courtney. she's awesome.
ben is such a loser.
emily's brows are fixed! hurray!
she is a great girl.
go girl! that's right! you WOULDN'T want to end up with him.
yes, blakely. just drunk & calling it out.
"tread lightly" "you don't know me as well as you think you do."
so telling. it's so obvious that he's a total idiot.
emily should be the next bachelorette.
she's articulate and interesting and just cool.
i love when harrison states the obvious: reflective listening. "you're in love with this man."
the sound of nikki's voice is killing my vocal chords.
i really hate emily's earrings....
i think she took them from my mom's 1988 jewelry box.
kacie is sweet.
i'm glad they're friends.
kacie looked amazing that night.
not a fan of kacie's frosty eyewear.
but then again you knew that...
my two biggest pet peeves are unsupported boosies & frosty eyeshadow.
from there..... courtney stripped down.
that blogger always looks one breath away from a total breakdown.
love the dress on kacie.
her earrings are so heavy they're pulling on her earlobes- nina.
it came down to her parents freaking him out. because he's a loser.
i hate the phrase "the man of your dreams."
i love courtney's highlights.
and the villain music.
i love that all the girls did it together! she IS a black widow!
oop the Chihuahua pitches in again.
their accents are getting stronger the more heated they get.- ali
erika is an overweight olive oyle.- mom.
woof. one shoulders are contagious! be careful! hope it doesn't go thru tv waves.
casey's just not bright. at all.
courtney is a sociopath. it's so clear.
they're all the same color of "fake tan."
no she didn't come to "find love"... gross.
they're all mad that she stole their thunder.
love her pregame teaser.
this is so maury povich.- nicole.
court's dress is cool.
she looks gorgeous.
oh here we go.
she's going to be penitent.
she's scripted by her PR team.
she's back on her crazy pills!- nina.
emily was awesome to apologize.
courtney is totally acting.
good question, nikki. why DID she do that?
i'll tell you: bachelor producers told her to apologize for damage control.
yes, jennifer. she's that kind of girl.
this is the first time she's said she's sorry- everything else has been an "i regret"...- nicole.
why don't these girls understand that even if you're skinny, you'll still have cellulite when you cross your legs and your shirt barely covers your crotch?! wear an inch or two longer and cover your cottage.
she's the queen of cliches! "trying to keep my head above water"... -mom
i hate when people apologize by saying "i'm sorry IF i hurt your feelings".... it should be "THAT i hurt your feelings"- mom.
she made her bed.
oooh! and jenna speaks!
blakely deserves that.
coutney is trying so hard to cry.
she's going thru real emotions, guys.
how would she NOT know that she'd turn out looking like a horrible person.
"cared".. past tense.
i think he picks her and dumps her.
i think courtney handled it pretty well. she took a lot of shots. - dad.
i love that courtney's exit was publicist/person free.
just whisk away in a dark car.
where's our car confessional?
emilys pecs are pretty crazy in that dress. consider a strap... and sit up straight.
i love how hopeful and expectant all the girls look when ben walks in.
they all start smizing and acting like he'll have a change of heart.
woof. don't ask "why me?!"
woah! nice cheap shot to blakely!
ouch! that was low.
ben is still predictably fugly.
nicki (i think that's the first time i've spelled it correctly) has a strange neck situation.... is there a spare tire mid-neck?
oh, my . these poor girls saw the writing on the wall with court and are now making a play for him.
woah! and there it is with the aggressive nurse.
not a chance, sister. you can't kiss.
i love the outtakes.
ben is so lame.
gross . i did not need to see his upper thigh again.
poor crazy slc girl... another lesbian moment for her.
there is NO way i'd ever go out with a guy like ben.
and there's also NO way that he'd ever get a chance with one of these ladies in real life.
well, at least chris harrison called out the obvious that nobody wants him to pick courtney.
but he will....
sometimes when she babytalks, it really sounds like she has a serious speech impediment.
the girl reactions and hand holdings are killing me.
and now they cut to audience reactions for lindsey's entrance.
lindsey is a fun girl... makeup flaws and obnoxious vocal fry aside.
courtney is a sociopath. have fun ben!
did we just see lindsey's crack when she monkey mounted him in switzerland?
oh, good. finally we're addressing the crazy blogger.
and the tampon. wow.

so i just read this people mag article about last night. nothing too dishy.. just that harrison was sick.

how do you think this is going to go down?

new york, new york! a helluva town!

2012-03-05T04:00:00.000-05:00

new york, new york!
a helluva town!
the bronx is up and the battery's down.
the people ride in a hole in the ground.
new york, new york!
it's a
helluva town!!

{on the town}

i'm going back to the big city today.
for good and ever (until the next time i leave...).
this has been such a sweet 6 wk break- and the first i've had since i can remember.
i haven't been able to spend this much quality time with my family since jr high school and it's been a much needed luxury.
more pix to come...

so now that i have a bit more pulse in this little heart, i'm ready to conquer the big city.
we're going to have fun, aren't we?!

image found here

things men should never do:

2012-03-01T01:30:00.001-05:00

never.

EVER.

choose a restaurant then complain about the price of the food....

especially before we have even been seated at the table.

and certainly don't nit-pick and argue the check at the end of the meal.

gross.

image found here

things Mormon men should never do:

2012-02-28T21:06:00.002-05:00

never.

EVER.
ask a girl to go on your first date to the temple.
and DEFINITELY don't ask to do sealings.
ever.

it's weird & intense on so many levels.
and if i need to explain that to you, we're not a match.

*for those of you who aren't LDS,
the temple is a special and sacred place and
not somewhere i'd go with someone
i'm dating until we're near engagement... it's just bizarre.

photo of kara's wedding by sussy.

and while you're at sephora...

2012-02-28T03:35:00.000-05:00

i've branched out from my old standby (and only shade that looks flattering on EVERY skin tone), NARS orgasm blush.
decided to try tarte's amazonian clay 12-hour blush in blissful.
this shade is really brightening my skin and lasted an entire ski day.

i want a few more shades.

have you tried it?

{ the bachelor- ben } episode 9 - sex in switzerland!!

2012-02-28T01:20:00.000-05:00

ugh! how did i miss that crazy court's vows were from SATC?!

prolly because i was SO creeped out and bored by it and still new to pinterest....

today, we had mom and dad (who are new bach devotees), adam, nicole & ali.

two "adventures, two "these women," and two "journey's" in the first intro. well done, ben. your vocabulary is getting smaller and smaller and smaller.
poor nikki, that booty/muffin top/tramp stamp shot.
and why the hell is ben "angry?"
nikki says "like" a lot... and with a glottal fry...which as you know, makes me murderous.
the high woodwind underscoring is making me vim.
yes, she wears her "country" with her wretched makeup/hair style and wears her "city" when she doesn't know how to get off a horse.
ben is from "planet of the apes!"- dad.
watch ben's stiff / put out arm as he pulls lindzi's parents.
courtney's "magical force"= sex.
courtney's nerdy? i didn't know nerds have a below average IQ.
look at that patchy beard?! woof.
ben's favorite adjective twins: magestic + magical.
look at that FIERCE euro outfit!
looks more like a monkey than ever...
i'm desperate to go to switzerland.
did nikki lose weight or is she just dressing for her figure?
clothes are a good accessory for nikki.- mom
"the country of the alps"
um... now bout italy and austria and all the other countries "of the alps"?! what an idot!- dad
ew color co-ordinated nails to coat? lets add in boots and eye shadow and you'll be 1988!
oh my! this is the best helicopter view yet!
ben looks more excited by the mountains than the girl.
that helicopter dive looks terrifying.
i was hoping they'd go down!!- ali
oooh yeah! he's really taking the bull by the horns! what a hero- mom re: nikki feeling "safe" with ben.
this is gorgeous.
ben is one cut away from a stacked bob.- brit tueller zeedik.
ben is bright orange.
way to manipulate, nik! bring up the dead dad.
nice hunchback mic pac.
so nikki does that confessional in a one shoulder sheer sweater and just seconds earlier, ben was in a giant sleeping bag parka & gloves.
you missed the scream from the mountain top opportunity.
and WHY ISN'T ANYONE SPINNING AND SPINNING AND SINGING "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE....."
this expisode should be called, "sex in switzerland!"- dad.
ooooh hell. another metaphor! cliff metaphor?! woof.
that makes my butt tingle just to watch that panorama.
wonder how long they had to stay there.
wonder how cold they are- ali.
wonder if they have to urinate- mom.
i honestly think ben gets uglier and more boring.
where did they find this guy?!- dad
i think nikki botoxed her mouth btwn home town and now... right?
these girls are so starry-eyed.
"take it to the next level" is my LEAST favorite sentence of all time.
as IF she wouldn't say yes...
um.. he sounded so non plussed by her agreeing to the sex suite.
they get this huge place?
ew. nothing says STD-land like a sheepskin rug.
that bed looks very unsexy.
ooooh! put your clothes on! it'll make you look thinner- mom.
oooop back to dad talk! nikki is a manipulator!
he just sits there and nods while these idiots babble and sell themselves. woof.
i hate the button henley under the button down.
woooah girl, it's just a jacuzzi. simmer down on that reaction.
bummer bikini for back fat- not judging- anyone who has real boobs has it.
who wants to be the girl who just says i love you and he only responds by kissing. that's so gross!- mom
woof. this whole thing is vimmy.
oooh boy! a fear factor challenge! i'm sure we'll get a "falling" metaphor.
oooh a jake pavelka move by kacie b?!
stupid ali is just trying desperately to get one more minute out of her 2 min of fame. go away.
she has no clothes on and he's totally bundled.
sweet nipple shot.
i like the extra curl in that horribly colored hair.
that looks like Provo canyon- dad.
screw switzerland!- adam.
she's smuggling tic tacs! - adam.
i need to go to interlaken.
she now looks like a dead oompa loompa.
why does she have to do all the adventuring?
i want court to have to jump out of something and show her true colors.
how does he have "no idea."
ben is shaking! what a wuss!- adam.
hey, bieber! nice hood!
marriage is JUST like repelling off of a cliff.
um... this is not that scary....
im afraid of heights and this is just lowering yourself on a rope...big deal.
i want ben to wet his pants and have it drip down the depths.
ben, you're not "free falling."
"oh my gosh" & "oh my DAD" .... what is he saying?!
op and there's the kiss.
ben's idea of free falling is being lowered by a swiss man an inch a minute. - adam.
oh, you two! you MADE IT!
i'm sorry, but the golden gate challenge was a million times scarier.
that's a sexier jacuzzi.
is she looking at his mouth ? and not his eyes?
he is as sexy as a sterile pediatrician.
DEAR ABC, PLEASE, IN YOUR BACHELOR GROOMING, TEACH THE IGNORAMUS BACHELOR/ETTES THAT "LINDZI AND I'S" IS NOT OK . NOT OK.
is lindzi 3 months pregnant?
she has a hot body... what is happening? beer belly?
a bow tie, huh?
his hair does not go with formal wear.
there are some seriously awkward flowers happening...
"hum"... good feigning interest.
he never asks a question. just listens to them spout emotional jargon.
"believe me, i've loved watching you open up.".........ew.
every slut starts out with the sentence, "normally, i dont...... "
lindzi's dress is too small. doesn't fit her shoulders or hoo ha.
why is she thanking him? like he's paying for it?
yeah, girl. "put it all out there."
woah!
are we seeing cooter?
her feet look like a mannequin.
i want courtney to show up in a swiss miss costume.
we asked dad to pause it so i could go grab dessert:
i don't want to pause it looking at courtney!- dad.
i like that courtney does her own verbal recap - as if we didn't know her batshit crazy fake wedding with the stolen vows.
oooh she's so demure and cold hiding in her sleeves!
apparently they have their very own solo train?
omg!i need to go there!
ben talking about "glaciers" and "peaks"
is that code for courtney's boobs?- adam
oooh court! that baby voice is soooo tender!
no one is around....
it must be the crack of dawn.
really, court? this is what your life would be like? while ben is picking grapes in california?
the girl is knock kneed.
one thing she does well: she always looks right at ben when he's speaking. - dad
please bless that harrison shows up in lederhosen and yodels "ladies, this is the final rose."
did she lose her pinky and thumb in a tragic accident?
all this "worry" about the other girls is a total decoy.
well you should have thought about that when you were being such a biatch- dad.
nothing sexier than a war bomb shelter filled with wine.
these damage control confessionals aren't going to help... sorry, abc, we all still think she's delusional biatch.
get your hands out of your hair!! so unsanitary!- mom.
she's an interrupting cow.
it's all about YOU, ben. how can every woman in your life support YOU.
ugh. this guy is unbearable.
you want "normal?" i dunno... ben is ABNORMALLY boring. soo....
"stay as a couple" .. so we can interloken.- nicole.
"so we can have uninterrupted"..... SEX? or everything works too.....
she thinks this place is a dump.
ooh bearskin?! STD-town.
he is SO hard to look at.
especially when he's happy.
courtney has this in a lock.
she's holding him like he's the girl.
i love the posing over his shoulder.
oooh good! on to emily!
nice house, girl.
that ricki is so much older.
what's happening in that armoire with all those caged stuffed animals.
she's had a lot of work done on that mouth.
i love her, though.
woof. two of the most annoying bachelorettes in history.
love the gold glitter mini.
there is at least a pound of makeup on each of them.
these makeup artists are gorgeous.
they are dressed to go do the club in the middle of the day!
by themselves.....
vomit. i don't want to hear about your love with jp.
lotta plaids happening there, ben.
kacie looks adorable.
i'd totally fly back to get a vacation and tell him about that evil cow.
did he drop the f-bomb?
oh, poor girl.
she looks a little under slept.
wouldn't it be great if he just said, "why are you here?!"
no. she did not fly back just for a post-mordem.
oop. there it is... the families.
double rejection! why do girls do this?!
oooh she knows it was about the moving in together.
still doesn't change his mind.
keep it moving!
falap ball change, pivot turn walk. walk. walk. walk.
and here comes the court.
it's going to look like she's doing this just because she's rejected.
he's not sincerely asking for more.
that's not her biggest zinger, there's more dirt there... throw the other quotes out, kacie!
he's not buying it.
ben is still in sex glow from the night before.
but courtney's a model!-dad.
he can't even be nice to her.
why is he being such a db?!
oooh full lay out on the floor!
that's not sanitary- adam.
maybe her pants are too tight- mom
maybe she has gas.
how funny would it be if courtney steps over her body on the floor with an ice bucket and says "winning?!" - ali.
he is such a low character person! why couldn't he have thanked her for her concern and acted like a gentleman!- dad.
he's not re-thinking anything- nicole
he's re-thinking his raging case of gonorrhea- adam.
i'd like to point out that adam called out that kacie b is wearing joe's jeans.
we've trained him ;)
i'm more excited for "women tell all" and "after the final rose" than any other episode.
nikki is going home. for sure.
i love that he has to brief harrison as though he doesn't know what's happening.
chris is doing "reflective listening."- mom (the social worker)
"i have this... i have this..."
i have a burning sensation in my crotch!- adam.
he got his outfit at savers (salvation army)- dad.
it's his scholastic swiss look.
a kacie rose ceremony twist?
rejection #3- nicole.
i like that ben is going for a marlo thomas hair flip.
harrison is trying to keep his eyes open- nicole.
totally listening bishopric style.
"where's your head?"
between courtney's pillows- ali
well... one is on top of my shoulders and the other has medical ointment applied to it. -adam.
oh, my! we're on a roll tonight, kids!
oooh nikki. terribly unflattering color and cut on that dress!
court is in her "kiss of the spiderwoman" costume.
lindzi's dress is from dillards 2001, you know it.
courtney's a model! - dad.
ooooh! there's plaid on his jacket as well! 3 competitive plaids!
adam calls lindzi gets the first rose.
well done, adam!!!
who ever goes home is the worst in bed!!!- adam.
sex tie breaker- nicole.
you know all three gave it up.
bye nikki.
the tolling bells are so dramatical.
yeah... shock to no one.
maybe she can sit next to kacie b on the way home.
that dress is truly tragic.
what if one of the girls got prego from the fantasy suite and revealed it on after the final rose....
that'd be good tv.
her hair looks better than it's ever looked.
how does that car have a california plate?
did they go back to ca?
now the plate is euro...
guess they used stock before.
nice catch, dad.
you've never been in love with someone who didn't love you back?
well, welcome to the club, girl.
my parents are thrilled. they love zermatt.
they are TOTALLY setting kacie b up to be the bachelorette.
i wish courtney and lindzi had to be at the "women tell all."

see?

2012-02-27T18:11:00.002-05:00

no makeup on the face.
left eye has one swipe of "they're real" from benefit
&
the right is mascara-free.

both are benefitting from liLash.. let me tell you!
otherwise they're scary little wisps.

real lash extenders

2012-02-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

after four insanely painful allergic reactions to my tranny lash extensions (did any of you watch kristin chenoweth's nutty/drunk david letterman eyelash extension interview?!?)

and losing my expendable income,

i went back to my natural lash...

after almost nine months of luscious peeps,

i had little to NO lashes left of my own.

i'm seriously not exaggerating that i had giant chunks of lash missing, maybe 4 skinny little scraggely lashes, and the rest had been so damaged that the lashes were the consistency of duck fuzz.

i cried over it.

so i painted my lips red (for everything) to distract from my sad lashies (see above pic)

got back onto li lash which is cheaper, better, easier than latisse

and tried my new favorite mascara, they're real! from benefit.

it's better than all of the dior mascaras.

i've converted all of my sisters.

though madison says i'm an absolute fool and we all need to try cle de peau .

i believe that she is the authority on all things beauty but i'm reticent to blow $50 on a mascara.... that's the whole reason i got rid of lash extensions...

and just a few weeks later, my lashes look amazeballs.

thick, dark, lush & at least my eyes no longer look like a stripper... can't say much about the rest of me....

looking for a web designer

2012-02-24T00:45:00.002-05:00

blends,
i'm looking for a groovy web designer
who is interested in mim trade.

anybody know anybody?
i need website & blog re-design expertise.

let me know!

MormonInManhattan@gmail.com

photo of me by sussy about 100 yrs ago

um... adele.

2012-02-21T00:27:00.002-05:00

{ the bachelor- ben } episode 8 - ben likes models

2012-02-20T23:58:00.000-05:00

sooo... did the show start right away with the florida date? cause that's where my dvr started.....

this bach grouping is the small version of my fam.

here's what we're thinking:

is it my tv or is lindzi BRIGHT orange. oompa loompa orange.
clementine color.
cutie color.
tangerine color.
ben's color is slightly more normal... so yup. she's orange.
she just nailed that poor horse in the back of the head with that spur...
um... that's not how you dismount a horse. you bring your leg around the back of the horse.
she doesn't know how to ride.
and you don't lead a horse with one rein.
it's not a big part of her life either, homeboy.... she's a horsewoman as much he's a fly fisherman.
how about lipstick? can lipstick please be a part of your life?
she's wearing the frosty white burts bees chapstick- ali
"horse farm".... that's technically called a "ranch."
i'm just waiting for the wind to blow her extensions exposed....
ben needs chapstick.
ewww nasty soul patch and greasy hair.
nice lick of the lips.. they were pretty parched. sick.
does ben have highlights?
over the river and thru the woods, idiot.
they look like deranged amish folk in that buggy.
that lap sit looks comfy, doesn't it.
did ben just drop that dog?
omg! mfeo city hall!
charriot races?! that's fun.
dad's got the lean down!
they got that music from the superbowl.
mom needs a more supportive bra- mom.
lindzi's voice = hot pokers on my eardrum
that's a serious horse bit necklace on mom.
full dad sweat.
jaycob is obsessed with the wine glasses- he says they made 5 million in 10 months. i think they're ugly.
she's not spontaneous!- dad.
kacie has such cute style.. but WHY is she going bra-less?!
stop it!
where is she with her baton?
oop! there it is!
this band is terrible!
nice illusion, kace! that looked good!
she is adorable in that forever 21 poncho.
she should have just committed to the curly day- always check the weather.
that's his "i'm listening" but i'm not really listening face- dad.
he always looks bored when the gals are pouring their hearts out.
kacie's drinking enough for mom & dad.
so why is he still calling her "kacie b?" there's only one kacie in this race.
mom drops the "so..." at the end of every sentence.
woooah! that accent is thiiiack.
it's a tennessee frizz fest.
sis should consider a better hair color. ashy!
dad already scares me.
sounds like he scares kacie as well.
eek. this interview is awkward..
cricket...cricket....
this whole drill set up is so strange.
can't they just have fun with the families?!
his hair gets worse and worse.
kacie's mom could be totally hot with a new look.
i think she's younger than she looks.
why is mom bringing up the marriage issue?! this is something that kacie should address.
he's hating this.
dad is right on. it's just too intense for this point in their relationship.
that's thicker eyeliner on her than i've ever seen on her...
good, dad.
ft. worth is so fun. i love texas too, ben!
"slow-to-go."
them are some big ole .... everythings, nick.
the cross earrings are a big statement.
yes! i love that cowboy salesman!
oooh hell! we suffered thru a horse metaphor with lindzi and now a boot metaphor with nikki?! sick.
costume change for lindzi.
he looks HORRIBLE. horrible.
"beating a dead horse"- how insensitive after lindzi ;)
i don't think those kinds of sequins are for daytime.
ladies, exhale while you speak. this hard glottal speaking is KILLING ME!!!!
singers are so annoying, i know...
he's such a grandma-ish lip licker.
honestly, i'm SO bored by these true confessions.
what's with the one shoulder shirts? - dad
it's the one skinny bit & she needs to expose it.
nikki is wasted in the confessionals- surprise surprise.
that is a super unflattering outfit on nikki.
woah, laura! that's a print!!
again, mom would be really pretty with a better /softer look.
the last two dads look like each other- dad.
again, another girl with a bad bra.
these bed confessions are so awkie.
i love that she's retelling her mom about her story... as if she didn't know she was divorced?
i had faith in your judgement and clearly, you're incompetent- especially considering you're on the bachelor- nikki's dad.
yuck! what are they eating!!! all the food is the same color!
well, there is texas toast!
so... nobody grilled ben? interesting.
ew. clouded glasses and a dog kennel in the corner.
couldn't the set dressers have helped?!
crying, red, and wasted.
courtney's a model! - ben's thoughts while nikki professes his love.
kacie b is out of the running -dad.
these hometowns are super boring.
i'm looking forward to crazy courtney.
another idiot goes bra-less.
oooh look at her try to do damage control after the fact! sorry, court. nobody is buying it.
so he only brought flowers to the last 3 girls? sorry lindz.
courtney's outfit is adorable.... with a bra.
i feel like this is rent-a-family. courtney doesn't act like she knows any of these people- ali.
strange that everyone has 2 kids.
jaycob said courtney and ben are wearing the wedding rings already. nice editing.
sister is working that ombre look...
her parents are so "active retirement community" scottsdale.
ew. a giant pic of herself in the corner.
sis has a cute body. why that boxy, unflattering shift?
what young people is court's dad counseling?!
what is falling down? rain?
why are mom & daughter both speaking in baby voices?
i feel "deserving." gross.
the baby voices are really creeping me out.
she's fake- even with her mother- dad.
why are mom and dad the only ones with food?
obviously this happened before- court has a full beat of makeup & they're eating lunch...
i'm guessing they just decided to keep this crazy in the teasers and save it until the end.
oooh! did i mention im a model?! #photoshoot
creepytown with the wedding. psycho.
this is getting more and more uncomfortable.
any normal guy would be so freaked out by this.
brad womack would have had to call his therapist - ali.
i like that she brought her pre written vows to pretend to re write it.
ben didn't give me a fear factor challenge so i planned a wedding- court.
she is NONE of these things.
p-whipped.
and now we're rhyming? eek.
does she need to go to the bathroom? why is she prancing around?
"bing!"
whyyyyyyyyy???
who is this? creepy uncle peter officiating our fake wedding?
ben is such a tool.
"almost married?!" wow.
love the frosty reminiscent lens.
we don't need a re-cap. we JUST saw this.
was nikki's brother a mute?
we never really saw or heard from him.
sorry guys, i just got so bored, i flipped over to pinterest.
who cares, ben.
sweet typewriter tie tack, b.
i think nikki is going, despite the fun date.
woah! woof! kacie! what are you wearing! a bra-less muumuu?!
nikki looks largo compared to those little tiny birds but her hair looks great.
horrible shoes on court.
well, i love lindzi because she's predictable. always a frosty heavily lined eye & dead person lips.
"i do".... subtle, court. subtle.
i wish i could be a fly on the wall of any of their houses when they're watching this episode tonight. fake wedding.
dad thinks kacie is going.
awkward soothe-yourself sway out of nikki.
woaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!
dad was right!
KACIE's the next bachelorette- jaycob.
woah. that was surprising.
why did courtney do that awkward hangback?!
i'm really surprised. i thought she'd get to final 2.
the dad ruined it for her.
which is sad. he was just being sensible but no fun.
there's a way to stand for something and still be a good time.
wow. he's an idiot.
well, kace. at least your nail polish is pretty.
oooooh ! just stop talking. stop!! save yourself!
no! she's yelling!
stop.
woah! her bible belt parents are going to be thrilled about those f-bombs.
why is courtney wearing socks?- ali
courtney is worried she won't be able to bikini it up in snow.... i'm sure she'll find a way.
magestic and magical.... same root.
please tell me the big bomb is that courtney tells him she's pregnant with his salty baby.
wait, what??? emily is on next monday??? i can't wait for that. i love her.
stop acting demure about the skinny dipping... everyone will watch that soon enough.
she does a weird finger push of the hair out of the face....

ok. i'm surprised. totally surprised.

what are you thinking?

hope & the heart

2012-02-20T16:19:00.004-05:00

in the last 2 weeks, i've received 4 emails from blends with broken hearts.
and while i''ll write each of them a response, some of the thoughts i'm having may apply to more than just my brave gals who reached out.
so to those of you who may find comfort in someone knowing your pain, here's what i've been thinking....

i think i'm writing this because i may need to reference this in another 15 minutes.
anxiety comes at the strangest times and derails me from what i know to be true.
stupid anxiety.

i rarely (if ever) write about what/who/how my future husband (even that word seems so intense) will be. if anyone knew my former boyfriends, they'd realize that my mercurial gemini nature also applies to my preference in men.
but i have loved and been loved by some pretty remarkable men.
i have felt certain and sure about one and when that relationship ended (due to circumstances bigger than him or me), i couldn't understand the cruelty. i felt destined never to be happy or settled or sure again.

if it was "right," why isn't it always "right?' and why can't it be...
i struggled with that in my prayers for months. it was devastating.

i mourned for months (some of you were fed up with my moping and expressed it in your comments... sorry... i had to go thru that) and then i happily poured myself into another relationship which just ended shy of a year. i worked hard and loved hard in that relationship but it takes two, doesn't it. another devastation.

breakups are hard. circumstantial depression runs deep and the pain can be overwhelming.
as the oldest of 5 girls, i've seen a lot of breakups in my family alone... and with my friends, i've become an expert in breakup advice. some of the relationships that have ended are clearly for the best- but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.
in those cases, i've found that the absence of hope is really what you're mourning- not necessarily the man. when hope is lost, the world feels bleak and despair overwhelms.

i recently had a doctor (totally inappropriate) ask,
"so have you given any thought to maybe giving this [i'm assuming my career?]
all up for something more meaningful?"
wow.
after stifling the urge to slap her and scream out, "NO, I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT! THANKS FOR THAT LIGHTBULB! ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN PUSHING AMAZING RELATIONSHIPS AWAY IN ORDER TO PRANCE AROUND ON STAGE! YOU CHANGED MY WORLD!!!" i simply said, "i haven't been in the right relationship for marriage and children to be a possibility yet."

to be clear, i've never been on a "husband hunt." to me, success is not in HAVING a husband. rather, success is loving and caring and sharing with a partner who reciprocates.
it's funny, in nyc, people are more interested in what you DO and who you ARE.
what i'm finding in utah, is that people are more interested in whether or not i'm married or have children. all good things- and aspets of life that i desire- but not the benchmark for happiness and certainly not the benchmark for success.

remember, just because someone has a career, it does not mean they do not wish for a family.
but in the meantime, i refuse to feel like my life is less meaningful because i'm not currently coupled.

i keep re-reading elder hale's october conference talk, "waiting upon the Lord: Thy will be done."
read it.
it's his finest.
i could do a whole 5 posts dissecting it.
what struck me the most :

"In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust."

"waiting upon the Lord means to "stand fast" and "press forward" in faith, "having a perfect brightness of hope."

hope.

there it is again.

i'm not waiting. i'm continuing to love my life, cherish my relationships, and create moments of fun and spontaneity.

and since i don't exactly have the knowledge, i'm going to go ahead with the hope (and when i don't have the hope, i'm going to pray for that) that the right man for me is taking his sweet time becoming more awesome. because, you see, i don't think my loving Heavenly Father would allow me to feel peace about marrying someone only never to feel that same way again. it doesn't work that way. i think i had that feeling to be a benchmark for what is good and what is right and what to strive for so i don't date any more riff-raff (heaven knows i've done enough of that- i've had some real doozies recently). it happened once. it will happen again.

i may or may not know him now, but i do know this;

he's going to be remarkable.

i will be ready.

so to you lovies with broken and hopeless hearts. i'm adding you to my prayers. i'm praying that your hearts will be hopeful and joyful and you will savor this time alone becoming the brightest you.

because he's coming.

he's worth the wait and he's lucky to have you.

image found here

shabby apple { giveaway } winner

2012-02-20T15:16:00.002-05:00

and that's why i love shabby apple.

it was really fun for me to read all of your choices- so many

different preferences and so many great dresses!

congrats to

please email me @ MormonInManhattan@gmail.com
and i'll shoot over your $90 gift certificate!
thanks, shabby apple!

image source unknown

a valentine shabby apple { giveaway }

2012-02-14T05:00:00.001-05:00

my darlings!!!
as my valentine to you,
i arranged for shabby apple to gift a $90 gift certificate
to use on any item on the shabby apple site!

see, we all have different bodies and different tastes and
i just didn't feel up to picking ONE dress for all of your gorgeous bodies.

so use your valentine wisdom,
visit shabby apple
and tell me which dress you'd choose with your $90!!!

the winner will be announced next monday!

i'd go with ooh la la.

and you?

let's be valentines!

2012-02-14T05:00:00.000-05:00

hope you have a wonderful valentines day!

photo anonymous via shavs pinterest.
oooh.... i'm on pinterest now.... (time suck)
wanna follow?
find me { here }

{ bachelor ben } episode 7 - the dr checks out.

2012-02-14T00:36:00.000-05:00

my family has bachelor fever. you should see mom's HILARIOUS courtney impersonation...

if you see her around, definitely ask her to do her poses.

last week was such an epic bore they had to spice it up and send casey home.. let's hope this week is more exciting.

woof! ben in a tank top!
woof! ben in a sunburn matching t shirt.
where'd you get that tank top? gap maternity? - adam
these bachelor travel days have to be hilarious and drunk....
i like national tour travel days only better cause no one eats and just drinks.
gorgeous. yes, belize!
kacie is adorable.
4 other girls and a shark! yes, dr. yes!
lindzi! enough with the frosty!
this whole squinting into the sun thing is really showing me who needs botox the most..
nikki just looks frumpty dumpty... she could flatter that body- no white skinnies on tv or sports bra uniboobs.
why is she crying?!
maybe you're realizing .... you're severely unbalanced?
but the neon bikini is hot.
he looks like a fat woman in that tank situation.
cute dress on lindzi.
oop another copter.
even emily is calling him a cheesecake.... woof.
wouldn't it be great if someone fell out of the copter?!
i love when the bachelors instruct the dummies on things they were just briefed on....(i realize. ending this in a preposition... we'll hold the grammar on the bach run downs.)
are we going to hear more "taking the plunge" metaphors?
lifeguard ali informs me that that height is not that great. because they'd have to wear vests or they'd break necks...
adam says it's 18 feet.
smokey eye is not a good look for the beach, gurl.
overcoming that fear?! heard that 3x before.
would someone please give that girl a speech therapist?! she's killing me.
keep your legs together, lindzzzz.
why the internal fight?~ he's not a polygamist!
or a catch...- nicole.
i like that peach on her.
woooooah... everything about that makeup is bad...
keep you eyes open! she's wasted!
she's really naturally beautiful she should really cut back on the makeup.
how is cheryl teigs even still here?!
model wants to kill herself ?
good fake tears, court!
the kleenex is tots effective.
ben looks bored with lindz.
nic thinks he's doing one on ones with people he's not sure about.
there we go. there's a leg cross... away from him. bad body language.
"once upon a time" is DR like???
what kind of doctors are you going to?
are we really re watching this in a fliter?
OOOp! that writing is NOT the 14 yr old girl writing that's on the date love notes...- adam.
must be harrison.
what have they been thru?! jumping out of a helicopter was so traumatic.
sweet boob & back bra shot.
i love the villan music whenever courtney comes on.
gorgeous sunsets! i want to go to belize!
cute little dress, emily.
thanks for that up the butt shot of ben. needed that like a rash.
sweet gay boy deep V.
did he put some frizz-ease in? is he reading my recipe for curly girls? he looks less frizzy on this date.
ben sweating.... no thanks.
she has the cutest little body.
are they putting a bandana over her mic pack? or is that part of the dress?
oooh a lobster hunt? now THAT's unexpected!!
sure! spontaneous!
cute kini. are her boobs fake? it's nearly impossible to keep up a mono kini with a rack that big.
i don't believe that he caught that for one minute! -dad.
i'm dying over these sunsets.
emily apologized, you whore! let it go!
ugh. i can NOT tolerate people like courtney...
oh now she's so strong.
she'll go skinny dipping and throw herself at you but won't take you home to meet your family?! she has messed up standards- adam.
she won't accept a rose if she doesn't get a one on one?! she's a manipulative deludinoid.
emily's wavy hair looks fantastic.
hate that dress.
actually... i like that dress now.
love a halter like that.
i like this girl. i hope she has the sense not to deal with him.
oh yeah courtney! none of the other girls want a one on one...
court: i don't know if i want to introduce him to my folks...
well you introduced him to herpes- adam.
these girls faces are killing me.
just eye rolls.
i wish one of them would just lash out at her.
snap?!?! she's gross.
courtney is such good tv.
"courtney and I's." he's so smart.
she's a model!
LAMANAI- you mormons thinking the same thing i am?
why did court just pull up her shirt to expose her stomach.
she's bored to tears with him. this is just a game.
yikes. her legs aren't so fab.
emily's body is 10x better.
how is no one else near the temple? they shooting this at 6 am?
"unload a bunch of feelings" i'll bet that won't scare dudes away. i'm totally going to use that.
she's just rambling and unloading.... and manipulating.
i love that all the other girls are backing up emily now....
i really really like emily.
nikki is cute and sweet when she's not wasted.
hey acne!
oh ben is SO whipped!
wait, courtney HAS a family? surely no father.....
harder for me than for some of the girls?! she's a nutbag.
love the posturing. she's a bad model.
"weird?" she's not weird. she's a sociopath.
sure wish i had some sunglasses- mom.
these cellulite upshots are not kind.
ooooh a STEP metaphor! did she read this on a cue card?
you know the last thing they want is wine.... somebody give those fried eggs a gatorade.
wonder how long they had to stand there for that copter shot.
gorgeous. i want to go to there.
"oh my DAD?!" using the name of your dad in vain?!
that bright is good and nadal'ish on him.
this girl is GOOD!-nicole.
she'a master manipulator.
well played, court. it's a dangle game!
i am SO bored by this manipulation discussion.....
yeah... i'm sure no one has EVER said they've had clarity talking to you....
the producers are LOVING her.
pot... meet kettle.....
"guy friends" cue furrowed brow on ben.
is he really buying this bs?
did he just zone out? look at his glassy eyes.
he's abducting them? creeper.
yeah they'll freak out. i hope someone pulls a taser on them.
oooh what a surprise! i went to sleep with earrings and makeup on!
is kacie sleeping with her blankie?
nikki looks great without makeup.
all the men in the room were grossed out by the shaving....
come ON!
the sunrise is exquisite!
the biggest challenge of this date was who looks best without makeup.
at least those girls are fun and like each other.
i like cheryl teig's little striped dress.
champers at 5 am?! vomit.
teigs is going to vomit!
"diving" in head first....... vim.
honestly, i don't know teigs real name....
he has tips? oh, cause he's a shark tamer? or he's done this before?
they're just sand sharks!- adam.
dad says they're used to humans and they don't attack.
i still wouldn't do it.
ben looks more scared....
i would NOT like this challenge.
kacie needs to learn how to play the game: act like a scared ninny and you get all the attention!
cheryl teigs looks a lot better au naturale.
all of the girls do..
at this point, they all look fried and tired and over this.
that top on teigs is bad and maternal and strange. bad print, bad cut.
i think nikki is going home on this....
don't baby talk when you're talking about your family, weirdo!
aaand again... sun + booze = trashed nikki.
kacie looks WASTED!
my hair would look scarier than hers....
too bad ben can't grow a beard like a REAL man- adam.
kacie can barely keep her eyes open.
is he really presenting this in front of all of them.
did he wax his chest?! look at those ingrowns!
good. kacie for the rose.
is she really creeping on this?!
i feel bad for nikki...she seems to be gaining a bit of weight thru this season...
ooooooh! good! the courtney stuff comes out!
that was tactful, nikki.
woof! bird flu earrings.
pretty color on courtney.
nikki.... get rid of the dumpy uniboob dresses.
lindz's skin color is clashing with that dress.
what?! orange and purple doesn't go together?!- adam.
i think nikki and cheryl teigs are going home.....
courtney is so obnoxious.
kacie should have let her hair go curly... she needs my curl mixture.
it looks fab in the confessional and WILTED at the cocktail party.
cheryl is falling apart already?!
lindzi is constantly speaking in a vocal fry (you singers get that?)
kace didn't need good hair tonight... she already has a rose.
ben is talking to courtney like a pediatrician- nicole.
ahahah! i love nikki - you know, there MAY or MAY NOT have been some talk about courtney...
Teigs: so do you think i have enough time to smoke a pack before they come back- adam.
woah! nikki! that's a surprise!
ok.. now lindzi is going home...
what?! no!
emily is getting the axe.
no way! she must think court threw her under the bus.
cute dress on emily.
welp... this just confirms that ben is the STUPIDEST bachelor in bachelor history.
emily is SO lucky. she'll find a hot dr and be so glad she's out of this shitshow.
did he just hot whisper "take care" in her ear?! gross.
did ben not see courtney say "see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" ???
he had nothing to say to emily? he's a pig.
courtney has a family?! i just assumed she didn't have a family!- jaycob
you guys, black widow spiders aren't afraid of tarantellas.

oh these hometowns look RIPE!

are you kids surprised?

i am. i liked emily and their date looked fun. she's too smart for him.

candy hearts

2012-02-13T23:39:00.000-05:00

sussy did this fantastic valentine video

with the brilliant josh aker.

he just released the FULL song on her blog.

it's my new favorite song- i can't get it out of my head-

you should buy it...

maybe josh and i will collaborate on the next one.

i'm SO in love with this sweet little tune.

buy the full song { here }

it's only 99 cents....

what a sweet (and cheap) pressie for your bff or valentine!

mom's sugar cookies.

2012-02-12T19:24:00.000-05:00

sussy posted our mom's sugar cookie recipe.
i can't wait to make it tomorrow.
i love sugar cookie holidays.

the color run.

2012-02-12T18:37:00.002-05:00

some of my very favorite people on the planet started the coolest 5k for charity.

the color run.

i've always loved attending the hari krishna's festival of color-

it's a gleeful and joyful color fight and to put it together with a 5k for charity?! very cool.

i borderline DETEST running, but you KNOW i'm going to do this when it comes to NYC.

find locations { here }

at every mile mark, you run thru a cloud of color

then party in color at the very end.

watch this promo. it makes me SO happy.

you may want to hurry and sign up- they're selling out incredibly fast.

epiphany chocolates giveaway { winners }

2012-02-12T18:24:00.003-05:00

thank you, epiphany chocolates!
hope you have a very sweet valentines day!

winners!
email MormonInManhattan@gmail.com
with your shipping info.
xo n

model remix

2012-02-08T18:36:00.000-05:00

thanks, melissa, for the video.. this is hilarious.

a new curly cocktail

2012-02-08T18:16:00.000-05:00

i'm often asked for my curly methods.

curly hair is hard.

it changes based everything from humidity to lunar cycles, i swear!

when i was in vegas, i had to find a new treatment program because the air was so dry.. i'm now obsessed and these products have now been nyc approved.

ok, so my hair not like most curlies-

they tend to be more dry and coarse.

my hair is fine, thin & soft (which is why it's easy to straighten)

thus making MOST curly products too heavy...

there are all sorts of gadgets, brushes, etc.... but i think it's a waste of money.

but here's the elixer i'm using now:

ouidad curl quencher shampoo

ouidad moisture lock leave in conditioner

i hadn't before thought that i needed a specific curly shampoo/conditioner but kristan serafino gave these to me to see if they work and i'm in love. these make a huge difference in the frizz factor....

just leave the conditioner in.
then add :

devaCurl anGel

while it's wet.

i then turn my head over and spray with hairspray- not something too hard holding.

i blast my bangs with a blowdryer and roller brush for about 5 seconds just to clump the front curls then air dry......

if i'm in a huge rush, i may use a diffuser, though it tends to frizz me.

if a few curls don't get with the program and i'm feeling ambitions, i may curl a few small pieces with a tiny curling iron but the pic above is just air dried.

i think a big part of the success of your curls is a good healthy cut.
i have a rounded- layer cut.
it's slightly longer in front than in the back.

hope this works for you, curlies.

we coil haired girls need to stick together!

{ giveaway } epiphany chocolates

2012-02-07T19:37:00.000-05:00

will you be my valentine?

epiphany chocolates sent the loveliest box of chocolates to me for valentines day.
i died over their mad libs packaging, red sharpie
and their delicious homemade chocolates!

the sweethearts at epiphany have offered
a box of their bitten and smitten chocolates to
3 lucky mim readers!

simply leave a comment telling me your favorite sweet valentine treat for a chance to win.
winners will be picked at random on friday!
xoxo mim

kosher pork

2012-02-07T02:16:00.000-05:00

this weekend, i was on a date at a (more) sophisticated restaurant in provo, utah.
i was in a mood so when my date asked how the pork was prepared, i threw in a
question (mostly to make my date laugh):

me: is the pork kosher?
waiter: i think so. yes. well, let me double check with the chef.

bless his heart, i tried to grab him before he ran to the kitchen, but he was a quick escape artist.
thankfully, the chef thought it was hilarious.

how would he know?
there aren't many synagogues in provo.

{ bachelor ben - episode 6 } panama

2012-02-07T00:51:00.001-05:00

thanks to dejah for the photo link

today, we have the hill family and friends mallory & amanda to add to the peanut group.

bam.

you'll notice that i spell the casey/kacies a million different ways and my spelling/ grammar is atrocious. just writing non-stop.

ben is so well traveled. so sweet of him to spring for all these hos to travel!
did ben go to timpview hs? whats with the jacked up jeep?
ben is now doing dorothy hamill hair.
nikki- burn that dress.
blakely is a professional mud wrestler. obviously.
kasey's bumpit is uneven in that confessional.
anybody know the heli count? have we lost track?
he is the most awkward person ever.
this should be a mix of survivor! they should have to eat bugs- mallory
i have kasey's bracelet.
where's craft services?
her legs are amazing.
there's one conveniently poised cocoanut.
this is giving me "the cay" feelings.
you're right, kase. watching ben crack nuts is so hot!
specially when he can't get them open.
why are they acting like this is the ultimate survival task.
that fish was dead.
you know a gopher had to open that coconut.
why is she always wearing fake wedding rings?
she's totally fried.
why is he so appreciative that she's going with the flow?!
like all the other girls haven't just done anything they want?!
this is a frizz fest.
and shine show.
kasey's eyes can't focus... trashed.
awkward sweaty small talk.
cheryl teigs is going home.
blakely has turned into a sugar sap.
wasn't she both the villian and the lesbian at the beginning?!
uh. oh. true confessions.
a baby?? everyone's had one & gave it up in high school!- mallory
eating disorder?! everyone's had one....
the pressures of a baton twirler- amanda.
as if a one year eating disorder is tv/news/date worthy?
they are digging deep to find a sob story for poor kase.
look how much sweat he has in his hair- dad
find your spotlight and kiss in it.
or as syd would say, 'screw the blocking and find your light!'
look out for me!!! ooooooh muddy waters!!
put your legs (more) together, ben.
courtney has the splotchiest skin tone ever.
you guys! the only requirement for a mans-man is to drive a boat.
casey- i have no idea what we're doing!... seriously?
this is like a strange disney jungle tour.
jus stumbled upon the village? none of that was planned?! no way!!!
there's a lot of padded bikini action up in that tree house.
ben's already seen your wares, court.
those poor little boys!
mASSIVE EEEEEEWWWWW! from this crowd in this room over ben in the loin cloth.
eeewwwww!!! again!!! over that courtney comment!
um, how many ways can you appreciate that, ben?
eeeeeeeewwwww! white thighs! i'm so grossed out.
she's absolutely nuts.
emily needs to stop with the courtney talk... at least on camera.
why is she exposing herself to small children?
oh, please don't jiggle, ben.
gross. i can 'see his man thong.
this is the most asexual look i have ever seen.
his skirt is shorter than theirs- nina.
emily is nailing her makeup.
lindzi... still not nailing anything.... bad color on face, eyes, lips, hair....
her voice is like a cheese grater on my ear drums.
he doesn't care about anybody now that he's sexed courtney.
oooh two card twist!
what's ben gonna choose? the tats or the piercings?!- nina.
"courtney and i's." ...... he's such a dummy.
"i appreciate the fact that you..........." take off your top? are a wanton whore? have no morals? are a sociopath?
who is that girl asking about the kissing?
oh, mallory informs me that she's the only one with the real sob story.. trailer park.
watcher in the woods, courtney!
it's jaws music- mom.
"they're making it easy on me!" you're easy , court.
trailerpark is talking a million miles an hour.
he's trying so hard to focus on jamie.
she's just pacing in the pool.
sharks in the waters- nina.
poor jamie.
sad, fully clothed jamie.- mallory.
did she just compare brad pitt to courtney?! that was a nice compliment- mallory.
ooook... ben just did an interview for a ut local news station and he was actually semi interesting.... except that he's wearing fingerless gloves.... is he in RENT?
nono nonononono emily! shut up!
wwwoah! wait. i thought she was going to deal with courtney.
ook. you trickster, emily!
why are you bringing this up if you don't want to talk about it, ben?
woah! that was really big of emily to apologize.
courtney looks like a fish and she's absolutely a horrible person. scum of the earth.
she's apologizing, you whore!
i'm just waiting for court to throw a switchblade on her.
i wish the other girls could stand up for her!
baaaaaahhh! this just in from NADIA's husband aaron (via text): there should be a no nakedness rule because once the d*%$ starts to pick it makes for bad television. word.
oooh you DO wear lipstick? nice.
now courtney is acting like she's the victim and she's being taken for granted?
maybe it's because you gave it up?
{scripted thunder}- mallory.
i have no emotional reaction to her crying and i'm sort of happy about it.- mallory
where was she waiting for him to show up?
that casey wail just made us all howl with laughter.
bad prints all around.
blakely is acting like a totally different person now...
he looks good in the blue plaid....
once i get past the soccer mom bob.
how many onesies does blakely own?!
and strapless bras....
blakely is just gonna do a few stripper moves.
what are these bad bat mitzvah dresses from the 8o's?!
nina is convinced rachel has had a nose job. it's pretty perfect.
uhhhh.... nothing about that "samba" is sensual.
another one shoulder dress.... they're becoming more popular than helicopters.
well... she is a better dancer....
and ben just stood there frozen- hiding his excitement.
oooh hair toss!
stop saying sweaty and sexual, ben.
you are only one of those things.
ali is pissed that the instructor keeps passing over the "4."
blakely's flat ironed hair is looking nasty. ladies, stick with a little curl- your hair will always look more full.
sour grapes.
there's another funny casey wail.
bahahahaha
blakely's shirt dress is hot... but in the rain?
and in those dark panties?????
yowzah!
he's always talking to them like he's their doctor.
stuffy.
2 on 1's are so awkward.
he takes her away before she can eat anything?
noooo! just booze her up.
nothing like police lights flashing on your face. is that the fashion police coming to swap out blakely's panties for nude?
woah woah woah woah.. did she bring her journal?
why is she crying?
those veneers are so intense.
she's acting so desperate. get it together, woman!!!
what?! she made him a scrapbook?
woah! this is creeeeeeptown! this is WAAAAAY too intense.
and there it is. she just wants to win. she's not interested in him.
it's cool, girl. i'm not either. he's such a dud.
oh my goodness! can't say i'm surprised.
that was creepy.
keep walking, girl!
don't turn around.
this explanation is not helping anything.
LOOK! no tears!-mallory
PULL A SHAVS AND POUR DIET COKE IN YOUR EYE!- mallory
she cried more losing the baseball game.
why the feral cat shot!!!?! KATE LOPREST, did you see that?!
nice fake cry and total claw cling.
let go of him!!! get OFF!- dad.
her makeup is totally fine- no tears!
chris harrison is always there to lend his bosom [to a woman in tears]-jaycob.
kacie! cute little braided updo .
lindzi!!! put some chapstick on or SOMETHING!
casey s is gorgeous.
it's like getting called to the principal's office! dang! i'm nervous- jaycob.
cute onesie outfit, case!
raising your over plucked eyebrows, emily??
chris just went down country with that "y'alls."
day AND night- mallory.
the girls are always doing a stealthy creep to watch.
casey! we've all been there!
ahahaha! i love the chorus line in the back till the producer told them to get out of the shot!
as if all of those girls don't have the same story?
as if ALL of us don't have feelings for someone in our past?
he doesn't care enough about her to keep her around anyway....
she's a supermodel.
if they're so concerned about ben and his feelings, why don't they tip her off about courtney- amanda.
oh hey, camera crew!
no! chris! i wasn't expecting you!
"tha both of ya!"
is she wearing colored contacts?
do you think she wanted to go home and they just made this up?- amanda
she's not opening up because she doesn't know very many words.
and chris- just sitting there creeping on the whole experience.
should we do a drinking game every time she says "like?"
he doesn't even care.
nice tent hug.
i'm so mad that's all that was!- amanda
i wanted someone to die!- mallory
oooop! i saw that lean/railing ponder shot.
voice is getting higher and higher in this cry....
chris has a death grip on her neck.
ponder shot #2!
as if he cares...
was she allowed to put shoes on?
oh case.... i get it. i'm still love someone who doesn't love me..... i'm with you, girl.
but being alone with your sad is better than ben and his bad hair.
i'll bet trailer girl gets to stick around now that all these extras are getting sent home.
why are we killing time with elevator shots?! can't we just have more courtney soundbites?!
oh! that HAIR!
still!!! more one shoulders?!
is kacie in herve leger?! go girl!
and the award for most dated dress goes to nikki!!!
you know, ben showed a real lack of character there- dad.
why? you don't think she should have sent her home?
no! he should have sent her home! but he should have been more compassionate.- dad.
nikki looks like a puppet- dad.
nikki's voice is killing me.
oh man! courtney's sound bites are awesome!
jamie is going home.
"i need to prove to him that i'm sexy, that i'm a woman, and that i'd be able to please him!".... WHAT ERA IS SHE FROM?! gloria steinham would die.
shocked?! woah! is she going to disrobe?
she thinks about what she wants to do with him.
ooooh she is sooo uncomfortable dirty talking.
oh no. dress is too short for that move!!! yikes!
ben just giggles uncomfortably any time she's turned on.
i'm just waiting for courtney to creep in.
fancy?!
here's your one chance fancy, don't let me DOWN!!! well...she IS in her red dress...
yeah.. you SHOULD be embarrassed. yikes.
that dismount is so uncomfortable.
she envisioned something different...
that was 50?! wooooah she is SO uncomfortable.
and now we're deconstructing the kiss.
this is her dirty talk?
her dirty talk is an instruction manual- mallory.
giggles mcben.
those heels are so ugly.
this is so awkward.
ahahaha! just send her home.
she just bought a house in crazy town.
that girl is going home.
i feel bad for her cause you know she's never put herself out there and you KNOW she never will again- mallory.
no.. kacie isn't in leger but she looks hot.
"on the wings of LOOOOVE"- ben's wing hair.
dora the kiss explorer is totally going home.
why does courtney act slighted when she doesn't get the first ceremony rose?
oooh feigned surprise! how unique!
don't flat iron your hair in the tropics, dummies... frizzzzzzzzz.
trailer girl is pretty... she just couldn't be more awkie.
yup. called it.
bye, dora!!!
i feel really bad for her... that was so uncomfortable.
i feel bad for her future dates-nicole.
at least they know what they're in for- awkward instructional manuals.- mallory.
it was a valiant fight, dora... adios.
aaawe! courtney didn't get her champers up high enough!
i'll bet cheryl teigs and nikki are next to go.
another rap?! noooo.....always too long.

ok. i think he picks courtney then films after the final rose then watches the show and ends it with her....

and the final song will be "every rose has it's thorn."

thoughts?

ck

2012-02-05T15:42:00.000-05:00

you've all heard about my dear, CK
and her amazing brand, shabby apple.
watch this.
she's remarkable.

go giants!

2012-02-05T15:37:00.001-05:00

i love superbowl sunday.
can't wait to get my queso on!
do you do you have any fun superbowl traditions?

*i'm cheering giants because my 49'ers fell apart...

i saw

2012-02-02T20:06:00.002-05:00

lala star in the brand new (revamped book + additional R&H music) invited Cinderella reading which is hopefully coming to broadway very soon because it's hilarious and fresh and she's so genius in it (as are Vicotoria Clark & Harriet Harris).
i didn't realize that Cindie has never been on broadway before!
my mom and i used to sing "impossible" together and my very first audition song was "in my own little corner." that music is so glorious.
ten minutes ago? i die.

Zach in Wit with Cynthia Nixon.
woah! i'd never seen it before (i generally shy away from cancer plays...) and i was incredibly moved by it.
Cynthia was brilliant and has the most perfectly shaped shaved head.
i always say i could never play anyone with cancer because my head is so terribly misshapen.

Z-man & me.

he's a wonderful actor and a great great man.

morgie & lindsey star in Godspell which i hadn't seen before. my friend, danny, directed such a beautiful show and i was blown away by the new vocal arrangements- the voices are SICK.
also so fun to see Hunter... ironically, i sat by another teen hearthrob, corbin bleu (who is my hair twin) with jim caruso who apparently knows every person on the planet. i won't be surprised when i see him at porgy & bess with the bieber.

godspell stays with you.... just like the confetti found much later in my bra.....

it's so fun to see so many of my great friends being so famous and fabulous.

the extraordinary league of fabulous nyc girlfriends

2012-02-01T17:19:00.000-05:00

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe

i have the worlds greatest girlfriends (and sisters, but this is just about my nyc girls).

i couldn't have been luckier than to share hot coco, diet coke, meals, cupcakes, and lots of tears and laughter with such wonderfully exemplary women.

i know i say this every time i return from my extraordinary league of women, but i've just never met a finer group of silly birds.

we're all so very different.

some are show people or mothers.

some are lawyers or copywriters.

some are good christian women and some are good jewish women, and some just believe in being good.

so yes, i guess the binding trait of my maudlin group of broads is goodness.

so much goodness and hilarity in each one.

to get to see 2-5 of my nearest and dearest EVERY DAY in nyc is such an extravagant and soul-filling treat.

thank you, lovies. for picking me up and sharing your spirit.

can't wait to get back to seeing you all daily.

my soul needs it.

this is la-la.
she's a big huge bway star and she pays for her latte in quarters....
which is why i love her so.

{ bachelor ben-episode 5 } skinny dipping in the dark- oh! ohOOH!

2012-01-31T00:33:00.000-05:00

ok... it's ali's fault but the recording started late..... so ... sorry.

first of all, my dad has been RIPPING on me for my bachelor habits for years...

and now look who was first to the party!

we hooked him but he'll never admit to it.

today's bachelor party is provided by (nearly) my entire family.

enjoy.

doctor needs to LET COURTNEY GO.
this resort is OLD.
come on, bachelor! take them to my mexican heaven.
Dad pointed out that either there's a beer droplet, sweat stain, or lunch on harrison's plaid shirt.
thanks for lining this up, ben! what a sweetheart!
poor ban has to speed date all of them?! awkie.
good. court got some lipgloss.
let's hope nikki doesn't get wasted.
aaahahahahaha! sweet spanish accent!
and THAT's the reason they kept the dr-- SOMEBODY has to be smart and translate.
is there ever a time when courtney's mouth isn't blurred? - adam.
i wanna go to vieques.
ew. no lounge chairs? just a lawn camp out? ghetto.
those yellow nails are not happening for me.
did she just spend all that time on her hair and it looks like that? - mom.
ben got a trim. not enought, ben. you need a new freaking style.
ew. they'r sweating in that heli.
2nd helicopter.
he looks like he fits in.
"it's like God smiling down on us?" vim.
that dress is beyond fugly .. and unflattering..
kiss in the rain!
there you go. that was friendish...
she just gave him the friendship pat.
sorry for your shoes, nikki.
as IF she's going to throw a fit?
Ben: "we could buy clothes for each other!"
obviously ben didn't like her dress either- nicole.
he's more worried about HIS threads.
oooh did we almost see cooter, nikki?
did ben memorize his tourist lines last night.
PLEASE let it rain again in that white baptism costume.
yes, girl! that is an expensive wedding dress.
he's totally hinting that he wants to have a bach funded wedding.
why isn't she looking at him.
that dress is heinous.
ouch! we can't breathe!!!--nikki's boobs in the blue strapless dress.
is there enough room on that couch?! she's so hippy....- dad.
anybody who says, "i want my second chance at a fairytale," doesn't know how to make a marriage work.
she seriously just quit her marriage...
what's that rash on the back of her arm?
ringworm!- adam
uh... never talk about your last marriage/relationship on your first date.
blakely has barbie makeup.
jersey shore needs more of a lip color with that GTL orange skin.
i love that they're poised on their preference sides.
blakely's forearm tatt is so distracting. just hook her up with Kasey already.
who is jamie?
jersey shore has great legs.
sometimes ben looks like a 5 yr old.
she has "fillings?" doesn't she brush her teeth?
i think she meant "feeeeeeeelings."
he's talking to her like he's her dad- nicole.
bet you $1,000.00 that harrison is standing behind her holding buzz word cue cards.- adam
gross kiss.
diamonds? baseball? i'm so disappointed. - all the girls.
oh horsie, you're such an outdoorswoman!
blakely is about to take off with one of the other players.
yeeah! nothing says fun and romance like speed drills!
chris has moobs!!
with BEN? as if he wouldn't come to the "romantic beach party?" was that a necessary line?
he's got some saggy nipples. -adam.
ok.. so we paused the full body shot and decided that kasey B has the best legs.
congratulations, kasey, b!
haven't these girls learned anything from "a chorus line?"
the redhead has some serious TP!!! - adam [ troll potential ]
ooh yeah, she's a knitter with cats!- nicole.
he's looking sick. where is his makeup artist in these confessionals.
awkward for ben to have to pick?
i hate lindzi's voice with such a serious passion. it's worse than adrain maloof's.
oooh costume change!!
good thing the dr and model are on opposite teams.
that casey s is sloooow. but beautiful.
"serious biz".... really ben?
kasey b sounds like michelle dugger- nicole.
please tell me they're not going 9 innings!- adam.
i can't believe blakely just caught a ball!- nina
she's used to that- she does it without a glove!- adam.
"oooooh who knew that strippers could play baseball!! "- ouch!
i love that the dr is their pep team/coach
oooh kasey B! tourettes!
i can't believe they're actually playing!
they're all pretty good!
it's surprising that they hit it, but they're probably not showing all the other takes- byu baseball star, jaycob.
blakely has a tramp stamp too?! saweet.
did b say the f word?
"bye girls!" - what a trite lame thing to say.
yes, blakely ! yell at them!
did she just wax her upper lip? it's a little red!- nina
it's called herpes!- adam
helicopter #3 oy.
blakely's right lash is coming off.
"they had a shot at the title." amazing.
ahahaha a schoolbus!
ben is pretending to be too poetic ... obnoxious.
nice trip, casey b.
courtney is so fake!
are they really this bummed out?
these girls are so dumb.
is blakely smelling her b.o.?
this is how it is after one of our games!- jaycob.
gingie has man hands.
but a cute nail polish.
horse girl is SWINGING that mojito. how is there anything left in that cup?!
i like Kasey's curly hair.
his hair is more and more tragic.
he looks like a poor homeless kid from the barrio.
they all say they want to be married... then a year in, they're singing a different tune..... oh. wait.. too personal? sorry.
jersey shore is giving such consternation face.
get in the shower, you dirty girls. you'll feel better about life after that.
i approve kasey getting the rose.
nice hanger ribbon, kasey b.
drastic times with courtney.
sweet see-thru dress, hookah.
they blurred out a nip slip!
why is her nipple in her armpit?
ben is desperate to sex her.
i think courtney is always on painkillers.. she has a hard time articulating with her mouth.
sweet mic pack, court. she just cant' keep her clothes on!
courtney is seething with jealousy.
she looks so much better without makeup.
she took that entire outfit from snooki's closet.
tacky luggage!
another ghetto sunbathing situation? are they forbidden from the pool?
a beyonce yacht? i'm into that.
yes, courtney.. she'll work for YOU, you insane maniac.
they probably asked her to wear neon so they could see her from the space shots.
why is she asking him friend questions?
dad pointed out that she said she gave up her job and now she's saying she loves her job?
he's wishing she'd just stop talking.
and why is she putting so much pressure on him.
"let's screw everyone else" ????
he's like, "i'm down for that."- nicole
blakely's in!- adam
killer body. fugly bikini.
he's swimming away from her.
nice nautical music. soft but forceful drum- enya style.
he looks like a monkey in that tux.
rolled up pants?
LADIES, THE ONE SHOULDER MOMENT HAS PASSED. YOU ARE DATING YOURSELF IN THOSE ONE SHOULDER NUMBERS.
his hair is amazing.
why are they so freakish. just get to know people without pressure!
desperation station!
he does that with his lips when he's not buying it- dad.
his light switch has flipped OFF.
he's gonna send her home.
look how happy she is!
why is he holding the rose if he's going to let her go?
that tux is a disaster on him.
oh she's crumbling.
there goes the brow...
it's trying to pull but the botox is too strong.
that is mean to pick up the rose and get her hopes up.
i hope she finished dinner...
that dress is so 80's.
NEVER ASK WHAT YOU DID WRONG!!!!! LET IT GO AND KEEP IT MOVING.
shut up! shut up! shut up! he doesn't like you. save your dignity and move on!
glamorous jump into the dinghy.
his flood tux. killing me, gilligan.
i love her nail color. they're all sharing the same polish.
not the david grey again!!!!!!
is this this years, "love lifts us up where we belong?"
it would be so much better if they brought out a piano on the beach.
ooooh yes! the ponder shot with the rose thrown into the ocean!!
those pants are made for a 12 yr old.
blakely is dressed up and ready to go meet those baseball players at the cantina.
are nikki's eyes crooked?
ooooooh the jersey shore comment! they're all trying hard not to laugh.
why does she have such dead lip color at all times.
courtney just has verbal diarrhea.
he looks like a tween at jr prom.
ew! she just bit her thumb?!
he talks to them like he's their pediatrician-nicole.
courtney is such a hoebag.
"i'm hoping i'm a vision....i know i'm a sight for sore eyes.".... she's so horrible!!!
she has the strangest restalyn mouth tics.
she just flashed him.
he's more awkward than a 12 yr old having his first kiss.
i mean, i really want this!- ben's penis.
we're alone.. on a beach... with a camera crew.
he really wants this.
he had to ask the producer if he could do this first...
cute lingerie.
oh my! ooooh my!
id kill for them to hit a riptide and get the tumble.
i hope he feels guilty.
is he going to stay "open" to ALL of them?
wheee! chlamydia party!
gingie's eyeliner is aggressive.
blakely looks pretty this time.
go kasey b! sensible non panicky advice.
he looks JUST like FRANCINE- Arthur's friend.
ooop ! there he goes with that lip tic while blakely's talking.
he's not into it!!!- dad.
what did she open up about, exactly?
fun nails, blakely!
no, you're right, heinous model, he ISN'T having that "connection" with the rest of them.. wink.. wink...
she brought up the skinny dipping.
whore.
her mouth issues are so offensive!
gingie is drunk... skaaaannny dipping is sooo freeeeeeahing!
we should do a drinking game with the word "progressing."
or "finding love" or "journey."
don't bring it up again, doc!!!! he's SCHTOOPING HER!!!!
he's doing the lip thing.
she's gorgeous and super rachel mcadams'ish.
emily, get it TOGETHER!!! why didn't you learn your lesson?!
the doctor has to feel sooo vindicated now that this has aired.
courtney's dress is fugly.
horse girl looks better than she's looked for a long time.
casey is "karen smith" from mean girls to courtney's "regina george."
woooah! lotta color in this vacation wear!
i wan't kasey b!!!- dad.
acoustic dramatical geeeeetar!
he loves lindzi, courtney, and casey b.
WHO IS JAMIE?!
cheryl teigs?! again?
coutney's fish lips are KILLING ME.
that hair of his!
wooooooah! he's sending gingie home?!
i thought he was in love with her kisses!
i didn't see that coming! did you?
i think he dumped her cause the dress is a flipping moo moo.
good for her. keep it classy and lose it in the jeep.
woah. that light is NOT flattering.
she was blindsided.
this isn't love. this is competition.
i love their hopeful meaningful gazes while he delivers his monologues.
who says it's the most glamorous city?
i love casey's dress.
ooooh another copter in the future?
is cheryl teigs the dark horse?
oooh no! what happens? did someone die?
good season teasers!
nothing about this chocolate bath is sexy.
please tell me they're not going to dip fruit and eat it out fo their b.o. chocolate.

what do you kids think?

leaving for good...

2012-01-30T17:32:00.002-05:00

2 wks ago, i properly said goodbye to las vegas.
i had intended to shoot down there solo but since my car was TOTALED by that little fender bender (fml) i needed some help from my parentals.
never to miss a party, sussy, bil, evie, kara and jeff all came to play one last time.
before my final goodbye, we hit carnegie (my fav nyc deli) at the mirage,
checked out this disaster of a store...

i know, i know... but i sorta hoped, they'd have their kohl's line- i wouldn't mind that fierce black jumper. instead, they had bizarre playing cards with the girls faces on them, catch phrase t-shirts like "hey, doll!" and other bizarre kardashi-tchotchkes. booo. bible.

we ate at my favorite (and only james beard award winning) thai restaurant.

mom made a special trip to Marie Callender's so she could see if her old favorites were still as good as she remembers when she worked there in the 70's.
they tasted the same, but she now says her pies are better (surprise, surprise).

we practiced walking with evie-lou

and she helped pick out cheesecake at the cheesecake factory (i die for the godiva!).

doesn't nicole look like kate middleton?!

i said goodbye to my little house (my one bright haven in las vegas),
packed my things in garbage bags, and headed to utah where i'll be based until my apartment is again available in march....

hi-diddle-dee-dee, a GYPSY's life for me.
ugh.

i'm singing this saturday!

2012-01-29T16:11:00.000-05:00

hey UTAH!
i'm singing in this benefit concert for the SYD RIGGS foundation
on SATURDAY night at OREM HIGH SCHOOL.

i'd love it if you came.

i'll be singing a Wildhorn WONDERLAND tune
& reprising my role as "eponine" with most of the original Utah Les Miserables in concert cast.

should be swell.
there's some seriously talented peoples up in here.

i'd love to see you there!

and now we're grown ups.

2012-01-27T16:13:00.000-05:00

my utah girlfriends have been doing the baby thing for years.
my bestie, ABK is working on her 5th (holy moly-coolest mom ever-lucky 5)
but it's a different thing when your party-time! excellent! nyc pals pop out the littles.
i had a small dose of it when rosie had sweet dorothy, but
worthie, CK, & KT all did it within 2 wks of each other!
and all GIRLS!
as all babies should be.

here is worthie's beautiful colette hollingsworth who came out with a FULL head of highlighted hair as i wouldn't expect anything less from fabulous worthie.

she's absolutely perfect and worthie is just such a naturally wonderful mother.

doesn't she look amazing!
hopefully this will satisfy my auntie missings for my girl, evie, while i'm in nyc.
sadly, i didn't get any pics of athelia claire cause my phone dies daily during visiting hours. ugh.

so here we are... from national tours to wedding to baby!
is it time for this?
i guess so...
welcome to the world, little ones.
auntie mim is here with bows for now and dating advice when you grow.
you were born to extraordinary women, you lucky things.

nothing good gets away.

2012-01-25T00:26:00.001-05:00

i have broken again that which was already cracked and pasted together...
which means i'm a bit shattered...

subsy, being the dutiful and awesome
best friend that she is,
sent this
brilliant letter that john steinbeck sent to his son re:love.

i loove the last line:

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

pic source unknown

i am crazy about this.

2012-01-24T01:22:00.004-05:00

crazy.
love so much.
want to live in this sound.
listen.

{ bachelor ben- episode 4 } - the earnest blonde utahan scene stealer

2012-01-24T01:20:00.000-05:00

tonight's bachelor adventure took me to queens to my hilarious sister-duo friends nadia and audra's pad. i laughed my head off. we also had sister #3 (they come from a fam of 5 gals as well), noelle's, input as well as friend melissa.
it was a drizzly night in nyc and i needed some wahaab love, nadia's corn chowder & audra's amazing bachelor-themed cupcakes.

my all time favorite moment of the night was when this creeper

repeatedly got in the spotlight/frame....

here she is again. i almost wet my pants over it. just sooo grinny and in it.
who knows her, utah! fess up! her fb must have blown up over this!

i'll accept this rose (or 2) any time!
aren't these adorable?! check out audra's baking blog! she's amazing.

yay utah!!
gross. ben is a disaster on a horse.
you guys!!! this is my place!
******breaking news **** i hear from a nyc source that that crazy model biatch was telling people that she won... which makes me know she didn't cause those winners are locked tight into a confidentiality clause... hey ABC, watch her.
is this the first helicopter of the season? i believe it is. copter count: 1
engage your core on that horse , you floppy wit.
his hair. vim.
my place is so pretty.
jersey shore needs to go.
i love kacie b- she'll be the next bachelorette after emily for sure.
holy lipliner, blakely.
chris! sporting a jaunty banana republic look.
i think the red head is a serial killer.
we all agree that kacie is way too pretty for fugly ben.
cheryl teigs on the one on one? send that tranny home!
oh no . oh no, kacie. get it together.
nice padded bra, cheryl.
don't like kacie's flat ironed look... looks damaged. take note, girls.
kacie!!! shut the eff up!!!!
at least she's doing it in the confessionals. keep it together around the other gals.
bridal veil falls??? jordanelle dam?! my places!
i'm totally not into cheryl teigs.
nadia thinks she's too old for ban. i agree.
kayak. first thought: please tip over.
she's giving him porn voices and i'm not having it.
look at those nasty bugs... nothing says romance like swarming insects around you kissing.
crazy utahan seems relatively normal right now-she must be so pissed that they're in utah.
i think cheryl teigs seems hung over 24 / 7.
ahahahah! awkward silence-- now she calls out his "wink" and he's just squinting.
"crows feet" that's what we're talking about--because he's seeing it on her face.
ooop! talking about the weather = kiss of death.
beaver dams.... reeeeally downhill.
she's going home.
where are they, utahns? that lake by timp?
this walking thru the woods reminds me of high school.
3 layered confessional, ban? all olive? weird.
he doesn't like her.
he's not "confused." he just doesn't like her.
i love a good yurt.
the food is untouched and he's saying "gotcha".... it's over.
"i'm used to having him all to myself"?!? in your dreams, crazy town? kacie get with it.
these girls need to have a 5 min reality check with one of their outside girfriends to make them normal again-melissa.
ew fishing. no thanks.
the model blossoms? like puberty?
audra thinks the model is the michelle $ of this season.
nadia thinks emily the doctor is way too smart for ben.
why do they talk about relationships in the general and abstract? just get to know each other.
"this fire is hot"...... derrrr. yep. hotter than your chemistry.
how on earth is she falling for him?! excuse me?
are we now matching nails to shirts to jewelry to eyeshadow? fyi, light grey isn't flattering on many complexions....
he's thinking about sports while she drivels this monotone monologue.
"ooooh i'm 50" says cheryl teigs- nadia.
is this really happening? he's giving her a rose?
does he have NO STANDARDS?! - nadia
yeah the date totally sucks, i'm confused and she doesn't open up so i'll give her a rose.
nothing is more unsexual than a phallic object going into your guys mouth....
why is blakely miss usa ready at all times.
he's like a floppy fish on that horse.
ben on a horse doesn't have the same effect as brad on a horse-nadia.
ooooh look at his face! woooah nellie! i wish he'd fall off!
aaahahaha! go cart race! that's a funny joke!
horse girl is freaking thrilled.
she can't pretend she's riding well.
striped shirt girl looks like laguna beach girl.
ok, they got that wax seal necklace? is that so he can remember their names? just use name tags.
ew. please stop the horse/prince references.
how is ben acting like he knows what he's doing.
this must be provo canyon.
kacie seriously is sandra bullock.
why does blakely have a wilted flower behind her ear.
i love the models courting tutorials.
can we make a montage of all of her soundbites and make "courtney's guide to dating?"- audra
BEN!!! she doesn't "get " anything. she's a slutty fugly model.
of course they're drinking.. it's like 11 am.
lindzi has courtney's moves down! go in, girl!
and courtney one ups you again with a fish!
ew! why are we kissing fish.
baby voices?! gross.
yowzah! she's wretched!
why is the model always posing?
that upper lip filler is super distracting.
woooah! boobs! who is that?
i love that they never give them food- just apps & bevys.
samantha looks like ashley tisdale- audra.
finally! kacie S!
i dig her.
i like the pop of neon and the blue nails.
she has great style.
why haven't we seen her before? i like her.
woah! nikki's red face?! she's druuunk.
yes, it IS terrifying, nikki..... you DON'T know him.
"i think you thrive in a group setting"-- as in "i don't really want to be around you."
way to throw the sob story right out, girl.
her boss? that's traumatic, sure...but reaching.
and actually, now i don't have a job...so ..... i really need the rose.
what did he mumble that she plowed over.
INCOMING! ashley tisdale byu cheerleader!
GO COUGARS!
what is that creepy voice she's doing?
she's aggressive! the girl before said she's grateful and this girl demands to know WHY!
sweet tiffany necklace.
total nose job..
lash extensions & possible veneers? is that why she's lisping?
she's been emotional? why haven't we seen the emotional?
she's shocked.
flip the hair.
biiiig veneers. can't close her mouth.
he's PRAYING someone saves him from her.
good for him for being honest.
her house of cards is crumbling.
bunny teeth.
i wish we'd seen more of her train wreck coming.
she's super high maintenance.
i like that he showed SOME spunk.
waaait. blakely isn't a VIP cocktail waitress in NC.... no. she's vegas.
i think crazy utah is semi normal but she got shitfaced and acted a fool.
she's not upset about ben. she's embarrassed.
ooooh she's the one with the huge boobs.
model's skin looks insanely discolored.
ben's trying to pull a bieber with that sweatshirt.
oooh the girls are nervous they'll get cut after a 16 bar audition.
jennifer is serial killer'ish.
love kacie's sweater. ..but pull it over the boob.
so he's at the waldorf and the girls are at the canyons? bummer. i'd have requested the st. regis.
her accent gets real thick when she's sweet talkin.
kacie just did a double wink.
why the fake engagement ring?!
NOT so subtle hint- nadia.
how did they sneak away to this private one on one
his mouth looks like scar from lion king. awkward kisser!
oooh adam and eve! they both look nakie.
he has nice hands.
is that a missoni bikini?
yeah. from target- nadia.
she's eating her bottom lip.
who enjoys reassuring these debbie downers?!
she's so manipulative.
he's obsessed with the model.
only so he can say, "i dated a model."
she's the fakest thing ever.
noooooo don't give that cow the rose!!!!!
nadia is sure that the model was one of charlie sheen's goddesses. #winning!
oooh good ! the hair flip and the lip chew! she's a flirt expert.
"i do"... subliminal!!! she's like a literal witch... casting her spell.
kacie is a curly like me! she needs good product and that look would be a win!
the mirror close up is super axe murder.
the forehead vein!!!
they're not making that nacklace happen.
those jeans are from 1990.
they're from aeropostale- nadia.
utah is sooo pretty.
buuurn those jeans, jen-serial killer.
those roots are ALWAYS offensive.
no trespassing signs for the drama... um obviously this is pre-rigged.
nadia- as a red head- is furious.
you guys, the hot pots are not sexy. they smell like sulfuric farts and are gross and dirty.
they're in midway, utah.
you did NOT cliche the "plunge!!!" vim.
Utahan seems like a woman compared to the rest of the girls- nadia.
and blakely is a woman of the NIGHT- audra.
back to the hot pots.... straddle each other.!
excuse me, what is scary about this? they have people rigging them down.
it doesn't look that far down.
here we go with the "trust talk."
she does have a cute body- not many birds could pull of the harness around the heiney look.
are they on a lift at deer valley?
there are some deer so.. .probably- nadia.
she has "fillings" for ben.
are they sharing the same plate?
is he cutting her meat?
how many layers? hoodie, pull over & jacket.
why would she have to deal with his inflexible life and why is he asking?
she looks like a fish.
she looks better as a rained out brunette!- noelle
oooh bummer. that girl is balding.
and that bump-it is tragic. who is that?
how are we still seeing new girls?
essie ballet slippers on the model.
oh good! at least SOMEONE is getting their roots done!
naturally, blakely does highlights.
prom hair on utah....
"vegan/raw doe eyed model?" i can't stand her.
guess they love blakely now?
juuust keep drinkin, doc.
when you don't have a lid, STAY AWAY FROM THE FROSTY SHADOW...
or just DO THAT IN GENERAL!
he likes her cause she's not a threat.
why wasn't i invited to this "private concert?"
who is this country preson?
why is he swing dancing ?
aaah they're at the canyons.
nothing is more awkward than holding a rose for the rest of the night.
who is that dumb utah girl trying to get in their shot? i'm dying laughing. this is her MOMENT!!! i'm crying laughing.
his hair is the ultimate worst.
he's pitchy, dog.
oooh that blondie is in the shot again!! i'm living for her!
rose ceremony
good job on those highlights, blakely!
i hope courtney falls in the fire while she's posing.
woooah! bump it looks like a figure skater.
i didn't think the doc would be the whistler blower!
ben is retarded. he's not believing her.
he's not going to listen.
oooh ouch. he's slapping her down.
she's giving me rachel mcadams feelings.
i think she just ruined it for herself.
he'll cut people out if anyone questions him.
kacie S is just a little fab doll.
first rule of dating: never ever talk about another woman when you're with a man.
Casey S. is friends with courtney?! oooh no....
the only reason courtney is nice to casey is because she hasn't had a one on one.
ok, doc. you've lost your mind. time for you to go home.
ooooh "get a drink" is code for "tattle on you."
ooop! i was right.
that neckline is too high for those big boobs.
i love a mouthed "wow"
"i'm a nice person. don't f*&% with me." "i almost want to rip her head off and verbally assault her." "or just shave her eyebrows off in the middle of the night."--i kind of get that- those eyebrows are bad. "she should watch herself."
LOVING that. LOVING.
you guys!!! these are things nice people say!!!
we've decided that casey must be stupid which is why we haven't seen her.
nikki- flat iron flat hair, smooshed boobes & purple eyeshadow isn't cute.
oooh nikki! you just ruined your hair.
and ben has a round brush blow out!
don't bring up girls!!! dummy.
aren't those girls close enough to hear?
casey couldn't be more obvious.
woah! utah has her boobs out!
"i know myself reeeally well." -model. she's nuts.
i wish the model would put lipstick on.
emily shouldn't deny that.
"that's all i'm gonna say. " wait... here are some more obscenities.
STOP SAYING WINNING!!!
she just played a rose pantomime- nadia.
the utah lesbian is the voice of reason.
she's the 40 yr old den mother for the girls-nadia.
she's mrs garrett from the facts of life.
"it's not a good look."- what does that mean?- nadia.
model just chugs wine in the shadows.
blakely and those boobs. shocking.
a monumental night?
what is behind him? is that a human heart splattered on a plate?- nadia.
you were a dummy, doc. a total dummy.
it was nice of them to bring the quakies in for this rose ceremony .
rustic.
it was nice of them to gloss the lips before they bite them desperately.
can we send jersey shore home?
those yellow nails are offensive. nix.
does he have a teleprompter for their names.
jersey shore got a rose?! what?!
i think casey s needs to go. she's mean.
"you won't regret this"- jersey shore
"but what if i do?"- ben.
way to exasperate, blakely.
chris is looking more and more eagle-like every day.
doc's lipgloss is all over the place.
nooooo! they axed lezzie utah in her state to save the travel fee.
i was liking her in the end.
ouch to get sent home in your own state.
ben has dorothy hamill hair in that snowy/angsty shot.
she seemed low drama after the first ep. i liked her.
oh the synthetic angel music is heartbreaking.... not really.
mean for them to have to drive her thru down town park city... not anywhere near the way home.
"i was there 2 months ago."... cue awkward pause.... and she's TOTALLY penelope!
well.. i discovered puerto rico, so... i was the anita who anita was based on... soo... i gave them the idea for west side story... so..... i am miss puerto rico so....
oooh the evil witch cackle!!! and skinny dipping! big news!!!
blakely seems semi-normal now...

i got the following comments from my mom via text which i'm loving.

your dad and i are watching the bachelor
did you see the horse wrangler in front of ben as he crossed the river? woops!
he's two fisted & white knuckled at the horn [ on the saddle ].
he needs to take it in the legs, dude [ again, about his loosy goosy saddle technique ]
and butt! that's why cowboys have those tight A's.
that blonde stalker! so yearning!
the girl who went home has horrible unpolished nails. she should be so embarrassed.

another way to blow it out...

2012-01-22T19:51:00.001-05:00

usually, i straighten my hair by sectioning it off,
starting at the bottom layers and round brush blow drying it section by section.
my hair is sooo curly that it needs extra pull and tug and if i don't attack it when the hair is wet, it is prone to go frizzy-town.

mom has started doing it a different way so i attempted it... above are my before and after pix.
simply paddle brush blow your hair out... you know, willy nilly with your head upside down while brushing and blowing from root to tip- just to get it straightish.
then
use a 1 1/2 or 2 inch curling iron and take each section- again, starting from the bottom layers and going to the top layers and curl around the barrel of the curling iron without clamping down holding the ends near the iron to smooth the hair. i went away from the face then toward the face alternating pieces.

well....
i think this'd be a great way to save time if you have medium to lightly curly hair and perfect for someone with straight hair.
for someone with a fro like mine, it just took SOOOOO long-probably twice the time.... and i felt that if you looked closely enough at the roots, i'd look like a girl who doesn't know how to blow her hair out-- you know that look-frizzy and broken.
BUT my hair was bangin and looked really really full and thick (which it is not).

sooo... maybe i'll do it again & maybe perfect my curling iron skills?

i dunno.. try it. see what you think.

the girl really worth having

2012-01-22T19:31:00.001-05:00

-why don't you tell me that

'if the girl had been worth having, she'd have waited for you'?

-no, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody.

{ f. scott fitzgerald }

here's to choosing instead of waiting to be chosen

and

being the girl who doesn't wait.

thanks meg for being there when i need you with the right quote and cup of tea

2012-01-17T20:09:00.003-05:00

one ought, each day at least,
to hear a good song,
read a good poem,
see a fine picture,
and, if possible,
speak a few reasonable words.

{ johann wolfgang von goethe }

tonight i'm off to the big apple to speak a few reasonable words to a few of my favorite people, meet two of the newest gal pals to add to our group (go CK & worthie!!) and sing a few tunes for some auditions.

it's been too long.

i can't wait!

bachelor ben { episode 3 - the return of shawntel }

2012-01-17T02:12:00.000-05:00

how many homes do you have, ben? one in napa.. one in san francisco? you're a regular world traveling lothario.
ben's sister is a lot cuter than he is.
waaaait, wait, wait, wait... why are we downloading with sister this early? did i miss an episode?
why are those idiot girls holding hands? very asian.
i'm not a fan of people calling the town "san fran." like when people say they're going to "nyc."
his hair is worse by the minute.
sissy has cute style.
my ex, ed, always puts his sunglasses on the back of his shirt.
that horse riding girl really needs to re think that hair color and fugly nude lip.
i really need a name brush up every week on these birds. i can't remember.
love "lifts us up"... hmmmm... coit tower? hot air balloon?
emily has some crazy eyebrow situation..
yeah, i wonder before every date whether or not i'm going to pee my pants as well... totally normal.
things you'll never see me doing if i were ever to be on THE BACHELOR: running.
you know they find the most freaked out heights girl in their interviews and schedule them for these stupid dates.
"trust and driving into the unknown"... how many more height cliches can we have....
how is this not illegal.
i'd jump off the bay bridge before i'd do that.
it's making my butt tingle just watching this.
sussy's hands are sweating.
this is the scariest fear factor challenge IN BACHELOR HISTORY.
now my palms are sweating.
i want to cry for her. no way. because then you have to climb down.
nikki looks NUTS.
please don't tell me he's going to kiss her.
and he does. oh you egomaniac, like that will fix it?!
great grape color in that confessional shirt.
oh, how many bridge metaphors do we have to suffer thru?!
it's a dress. pretty. she looks great.
she must be freezing. he's in a double layer.
is he wearing lip gloss? oh.. wait, he kissed her.
their chemistry seems a little more normal.
older bro on match.com. classic.
oooh, flirty lipgloss.
i like her. she seems pretty normal.
casey s- she's the mermaid we haven't seen at all.
do they all have to shrug and open their mouths when their names are called?
"that handwriting [ on the date card ] looks like it's from a 14 yr old girl... so it's either chris harrison or ben who wrote it."- adam
"he looks so bored when the girls are talking.. like he's just waiting for them to finish their lines."- mom
heights girl is put together.
she could tone down the flirty mouth bites. (did she watch kristen wiig's flirting video?)
"oooh she's a terrible kisser." -adam
eeew the whiney girls!!
emily is tall!
love the awkward runs in high high heels.
cheryl teigs sounds like a man.
what the hell is a "leap list?"
nice car commercial...
oooh! where's danny tanner & uncle jessie
new honda cr-v... did you get that?
i love that they're all in beach wear.
that's such a fun stunt!!
how were they able to do this?! i'm into this date. i'd kill at this challenge.
where are you skiing in ny, rachel?
i love that they're in bikinis. there's gonna be some indecent exposure when they eat it.
i used to bikini ski in high school. spring skiing at sundance.
Kasey B is my favorite.
"i hope she got a brazillian!"- nicole
stop trying to make "leap list" happen, ben.
lindzi looks a wreck with that lip color.
"she looks like a coked out julie bowen."- adam
who is brittney?
what is that ghetto necklace that you know she won't be able to keep.
oooh she's sweet to tell her she'll have a good time.
"brittney is the bentley of this season."- nicole
this is staged.
nobody would be that crazy...
and that girl shouldn't be turning down ANY dates...
nicole and adam love the tonga room.
tiki bars are cool again. i'm trilled.
rachel.. that's cheryl teigs.
she might be a man.
you know she tastes like ashtray.
oooh come on, kasey b! sandy bullock would keep it together.
i wish he'd just say, "please just stop being a crazy biatch."
instead, he smooches her.
i like her.
i hate to be catty, but that greasy haired, bad skinned, mascara mask is turning down a date, what is the world coming to?
please tell me she barges into the tiki bar!
blakely must have 100 different slut corsets to choose from.
"does she know she has dead crows hanging from her ears?" -adam
brittney's accent is a mess.
"expeshily"
if THIS is the hardest decision of her life, um....
wait! she's the grandma girl?! she was so much cuter then!
sooo let's wrap this date up so i can pow wow with the producers and find out who my "second choice" is/ no worries, guys.... this was all staged anyway.
why is imbalanced utahan sobbing hysterically.
how many times do these idiots say "san fran."
lindzi, you were second choice.... factor that in.
big arm swinger
i can't watch that lip color.
"she talks with her hair."- nicole
oh, ben! you're just like macgrubber! a key and everything.
i'm jelly.
i love matt nathanson. saw him in ogden of all places a hundred years ago...
if a guy said i had "potential", i'd run.
you know ben had never been to this speak easy before.
i appreciate the muffled horn tunes. very 20's.
i can not handle her speaking voice... she speaks in the back of her throat... on top of nodules.
bless her heart, her hair is a disaster.
and his hair, not surprisingly, is wretched too...
i don't even know what to say... this interchange is killing me. i can't stop laughing.
"it looks like she's been deranged.. like she's been drug around the whole city by her hair."-mom
she's a complete woman, ben? as opposed to..... a hermaphrodite?
ok, liberache.
oooooh, come on!!! more david gray?! you know he learned that ONE song and nothing else... like when dudes would learn "stairway to heaven" in high school.
at least we don't have to suffer thru ben singing it.
ooop another "ben and i."
nicole's so annoyed by everyone's "guards."
oooh right, the ex is just driving in casually to surprise him with no inclination that he's entertaining other women.
oooh she's talking to harrison. got it.
crazy cooter chantelle.
"who's chris?"-mom
sandy bullock has great style.
this gingie is aggressive.
mom is (again) really upset by her roots.
"i have a good feeling about you." proverbial pat on the back.
she's giving me mandy moore feelings.
what if he ends this kiss & he's like ... ugh... i remembered it better.
isn't she the mortician?
ooooh yes, it's all coming back to me now.
horrible jeans. LADIES, flourished pockets only make your butts look HUGE and saggy. take note.
did she create a game gimmick?
"juvin-l"
"she's the kind of girl your boyfriend cheats on you with"... classic.
model is a crazy pot stirrer.
i love that the phD said she has a personality disorder.
love the fuchsia cap sleeve... still haven't figured out who that girl is...
ew. he really likes the model.
you know he just wants to say he dated a (self-proclaimed) "model."
she's not into him. she keeps pulling away. she's here for self promotion.
babies?! what's her problem.
shawntelle is a deludenoid.
her shoes are too big.
tooooo many one shoulder dress.
eeeeeew!!!!!!! she has yzma boobs! wear a bra!
what? she just walks in casually?
jaclyn is so gross.
good! he looks genuinely surprised!
that girl on the couch is giving LOOK.
lots of classy language.
awkie that they're all just standing round.....
elyse is killing me with her fugly faces.
"the model is stunning"-nicole
"she shouldn't open her mouth."- mom
there is nothing more awkward than this moment...
this is probably the only real moment that we've seen of ben.
he's a lot more like-able. just stop "acting," ben.
looove the hot pink girl.
Kasey b is going to throw up.
who is erika?! she looks like she's in a grecian princess costume.
love the chicago-accent screamer.
i like that they claim that they know him more than she does.
ooooooh erika is an insecure crazy cat!
these girls are aggressively nuts.
why are they this upset? this is what they signed up for.
"drains people's blood."
"brad's dumpster trash."... i'm loving this.
model has lip filler.
"shawntel rides in on her high herse." amazing.
some of these gals have reeeeally ugly cry face.
i want more of the girl in fuchsia
"this is the stink -eye music."-nicole
he looks like a monkey in a suit.
i love how they fit her into the class photo rose ceremony stance.
lindzi always speaks with her chin down.
i tune him out when he's reading his lines.
shawntel's druuuunk.
why didn't court fix her makeup?
"what'sherbutt" ??? gross.
i stand by kasey/b sandy bullock for the win.
ew. i don't like elyse.
what is that horrific red dress from 1988.
"on a scale from 1 to 10, i think i'm going to throw up." aaaaaahahahahahahah!
"because she's a 1!!!"- what adam would have said but he went to sleep....
i love the convos btwn rosed.
greece is going down... good ploy!!!
why is she clutching that girls legs?
i love a medic moment.
the producers are THRILLED!
kasey's dress is fab.
he needs to send greece home for that stunt.
i love how their anger is pointedly directed at shawntelle.... and not the producers...
compliments pre rejection? bachelor first!!
shawnie looks like she's going to murder him.
aaaaah! i saw that coming. no final rose... another bachelor first?
love the water gestures.
ew. that model is vile.
he's totally dating her after this is over.
things would have turned out her shawnie's favor if she'd worn a bra.
goood! gals, if a man rejects you, definitely question his manhood.
oooh! they're coming to my people!
"they need a better bachelor."-mom
eeeew... miss greece is a music geek? what a freak.
grosssssss..... mouth tattoo.
i want to memorize that crazy monologue! she's nuts!

oh boy.... i kinda thought they'd keep shawntel for at least another ep... didn't you?

i certainly know how eve felt.

2012-01-16T03:29:00.000-05:00

leaving paradise is torture.

i had the most glorious time in mexico.
stayed in a private bungalow on a lagoon at the rosewood mayakoba in the riviera maya.
(you take a fancy jungle-cruise type boat to get to your suite)
i did nothing but relax,
read 3 books in 5 days
(loved patti lupone's memoir, jacqueline kennedy: historic conversations on life with john f. kennedy
and the girl who played with fire.)

played rummy with rook cards,

played lots of ping pong (i'm dreadful),

played bananagrams (i won),

timed the swimming champ on laps,

ate my weight in guacamole, chips, and coco light,

received a lovely nyc pressie,

found loads of sense in a special tiny purse chair,

enjoyed the fancy mannequins in playa del carmen,

relaxed by the beach/pool while butlers cleaned my glasses and brought popsicles, treats and water,

loved their festive tree,

woke up to butler breakfast service (juevos & soursop juice!)-they even bring the toaster to the suite for fresh toast,

played in the in-suite plunge pool,

enjoyed the view at the spa pool,

and watched the sunset at the lobby pool.

i'm ready to go back now!

home videos

2012-01-12T21:50:00.002-05:00

these are my sisters.
home sick with chicken-pox in the 90's.
enjoy their crimped hair, forced vibrato, and
"thing-a-ma-box."

i'm obsessed with this video.
wait till you see the gems of me as "annie."

new year 2012

2012-01-11T10:59:00.001-05:00

after an exhausting november/ december, i had very much decided that i'd forego the striptastic new years experience in favor of a lovely dinner and an evening at home with my private party of one.

i started the evening at simon with nikka- as always, it was awesome and a fantastic celeb-watching experience.

i met the maloof's (any real housewives of beverly hills fans out there? adrian is tiny and adorable and the bros are interesting..).

talked to adrian's husband paul about acquiring jimmer to play for the kings.

he admitted it was a slam dunk (pun intended).

then i met a power player at the palms who just happened to have comped 5th row center floor seats to see john legend later that night....

score.

so i changed nikka's plans and off we went to see brother legend with all of the palms people.

he opened with adele's "rolling in the deep" a capella. hot damn, it was amazing.
the man is a SICK talent. sick.
if you ever get the opportunity, you must go.
we danced our little hearts out and when i come back in my next life,

i'd like to be one of his FIERCE back up singers. killer choreography and insane voices. i live for them!

so there was this one time when JL walked down those stairs pictured above and came right down and sang to me. i don't usually get star struck, but i was into this big time.... but i didn't touch him- for the record- because that's what creeper super fans do ... and i DIDN'T want to be mistaken for that! so i just squealed and we danced together.

then we were whisked upstairs to do the countdown from Moon (which is the perfect nightclub to see all the fireworks from the strip) where people were paying $250 just to ENTER!
people are stupid.
little johnny legend counted down with his leggy fiance, i got a smooch of the cheek from my sweet friend, Q, and was back in my car and on the way out of the madness by 12:30.

a glamorous ending to a wild year and a glamorous beginning to a better one!

hope you had a wonderful time too.

the bachelor ben { episode 2 - bye bye blogger }

2012-01-10T01:34:00.000-05:00

long story... and more on mexico later...

but i got re routed to utah and my bags went to vegas... so instead of moving to utah from vegas today, i'm just hanging out and watching the national football championship with my family/friends and their husbands/boyfriends.....

so we felt we'd even the score and make them watch the bachelor.

there was no forcing there.... the guys loved it and cracked me UP.

here's our commentary.

that foul hair.
"stop shaving your legs"-nicole to ban
did he rent that dog?
i'm so over him using the dad for sympathy.
you KNOW that isn't his real house.
oh, ok.
one shoulder.... too low.
"is this real life?'
windblown ponytail.
how many layers is ban wearing in that confessional.
yeah! score one for sandy bullock! we love kacie.
the whole room loves her.
"except her sideburns go down too far"- nicole
kacie's hairline is slightly wiggish.
live for that car.
how are ya?!
hoping she's the appropriate woman? weird.
cuuuute outfit, kacie.
it's so awkie when ban has to call her kacie b. like... drop the last name letter or change your name, kace?
nothing says, "this is sonoma" quite like random chopsticks on a deserted piano.
baton twirler..
bret says "red flag!"
i think it's cute and dorky.
that was planted for. sure.
oh yeah, ban. you're so damn cool and masculine for twirling a baton in the middle of a deserted street.
"i like how he pretends he hasn't been in a marching band his whole life" - seth
it's like mayberry?
not exactly.
i hope she just causally places the baton on the table next to the rose
oooh kacie b. is wearing the jillian necklace.
yeah... apparent sideburns.
vomiting over the hair.
he's so boring... if he's not gonna be funny, he should at least be hot like womak.
news flash, kacie: every girl/person is a hopeless romantic.
he's BORING.
do they tell them to do some oddball action when their names are read for the dates?
this is not the first rose, you dummy.
yadda yadda journey this journey that... please say, my last journey hit a dead end so i had to flip a bitch and now i'm backtracking and trying to find another dummy who doesn't care that i'm personality-free.
ooh ban! YOU planned all this? how sweet!
ok.. the wedding video is so creepy.
mom thinks it's creative.
love the baton footage.
ban is a nudist.
oooh boy more dad talk.
don't get me wrong. that's horrible and terrible but is this going to come up every episode?
nice bowl cut, ban.
{ban's family picture} "which one's ban?" -seth
those intimate and tragic moments are too soon for a first date.
there's always an emotionally manipulative or crazy stunt fear factor date to "bond" them.
ben is real. gross.
"it's just too bad you can't see the cue cards" -dad
ban got a flat ironed job for the group date.
what is that whore onesie on blakely! is that your tao beach club uniform?
did ban go clubbing last night? what's that bracelet?
um.. what is a "dental consultant?"
i love their community involvement dates. so awkie.
i'm desperate for one of these girls to revela that she hates children.
this is so uncomfortable.
"the combined IQ of all the women is 130"- dad
the mom of the kid who asked for the sexy dance is dying right now.
good theory, sassy black girl!
the kid who asked her to JOG already has a porn problem.
that little girl who was not a fan of her is amazing.
oooh catty !
not gonna beat a dead horse.... pun intended.
fondling? in a kid show?
porn boy put that in.
good move, producers. cover those jugs with the gingie man.
oooh slutty pig!
do they all have the jillian necklaces? that crazy girl from utah has it too. i'm not into it.
is everyone a dental hygienest?
pino is sorta penis-y.
why the accent?
that girl with the bangs looks like cheryl teigs.
"bens closest friends are the elderly and children?" - adam
you are off book!!!
"what happens when a prince kisses an ass?!"
there are children and the elderly!! keep your clothes on!
did the porn boy suggest that stripper music?
blonde is NOT that princess girl's color.
what is with ban's penis sword dance?!
is crazy blogger on this date? where's her facetime.
"standing ovation?!" -dad "they're glad it's over!"- seth.
oh boy. the liquor. they're a sloppy bunch.
blakely's miss america 1999 hair is cray .
she looks like my friend merrill west with her hair back, right rosie? #broadwaylookalikes
"how can you swim in those earrings"- ang
"how can she swim in a smokey eye"- me
"how can she swim in those veneers?!"- nicole
what areas are you blessed in, exactly?
model is cray cray.
the last thing she needs to do is drain a few (more) bottles.
what is sandy bullock doing in that "while you were sleeping" 90's sweater neckline.
lots of flotation devices in that pool.
glad to know the earrings made it into the pool.
"isn't swimming and alcohol a bad idea"- seth.
"can the bachelor ever say no [ to one on one time } " - bret.
he's giving her such short answers then he goes in for a smacky gingie kiss.
soooo much oral herpes this season.
oooh she's a scorpio. that explains it.
"[ scorpio! ] just me and the hooker!" - mom
"look at the resistance in his neck when she pulls him in"- nicole.
why are these idiots thinking they're the only girls he's kissing?!
"her journey to gonorrhea has just begun" - adam.
eeew. lots of piercings this season!
"i hate ban! he has bad taste!" - bret.
gingie is crumbling!
i love a black mascara streak tear.
ahahaha! 'we hate you'
ooooh those girls iced her!
sometimes model is gorgeous and sometimes she looks like a tranny.
"and i and scotch"....
here's my seasonal grammar check. "ban, scotch, and me"
he's mounting scotch.
the puppy talk is so weird.
"i've just been doing me for a while." .... dirrrrty.
why is she baby talking?
i love how everyone says they want to get married and travel then have children.
mom is distracted by model's hole in her hair.
courtney's smart, ban? really?
greeeasy hair, ban. vim.
"i wonder how many mosquito bites they got sitting there." - ali
4 layers on that confessional outfit with an "eggplant v-neck kicker" (adam)
who wants to sit on a hay bale?!
"pokey!"- jacob
"you've got a winning personality!"
"winning is her favorite word"- adam
"she learned that from her time with charlie sheen."- nicole.
we've noticed that whenever ban starts talking we all start talking.
"i don't care about his friends or family!" - seth.
"just get back to the craaaaazy bitches!"- adam.
you've dated an actor? congrats! would you like a medal?
"well.. you know she has said a lot of words for a model."- nicole.
awkward pecktown with a proceeding tongue.
"she dove in lip-injection first on that one!"- adam.
he really does love to give a 4-5 minute monologue before presenting these roses.
he thought he'd be MORE reserved?! he's so monotone and boring!
i just hope they fall off that swing.
looootta bad spray tans.
"what's with lipstick colors and women right now?" - seth.
lotta lace tops.
i wish one girls who already got the rose would just keep it in her teeth the entire cocktail hour.
do you think ban's bangs were round brushed then flattened off?
lindzi has rough name spelling but a really cute body and needs a darker lip color.
why do girls think all guys want you to play in the dirt?
samantha looks like a byu cheerleader.
that girl is trying to provoke slutty blakely.
the gal in emerald gave total lizard face.
mom's wondering how long this filming goes cause cause she already thinks a couple of girls already need their roots done and it's only week two
byu cheerleader has some looooong boobies.
cheryl teigs needs to take out her piercings.
ali thinks sandy bullock looks like lila garrity.
she is NOT going in for another one on one talk.
that bloggers melded highlights are turning chlorine green. eeks.
oooh he raaaan from her!
when you're a vip cocktail waitress, you always reach for bottles with your booty out.
the phD candidate looks like kendra wilkenson
blogger is trying to burn the joint down.
"it's like a war zone... with candles" - ang.
ladies, i say it every single season: frosty shadow is NEVER a good idea.
things to never say to a man: "i'm like a guy."
blogger's drunk confessional faces are KILLING me.
you're not a typical girl? do you have male parts as well?
"i'm sotally tober!" - adam.
she always melts down at the rose ceremony.
kacie is adorable. i like the nod to the 80's. she's working for me.
every time jaclyn is on screen the entire room peals in laughter ... too much to write here.
i love the lace dress on the model.
blakely DOES have feelings, you guys!
"how much cocaine is that in that ring, right there?" adam.
you really should invest in good luggage if it's gonna be on camera. save the cheeseball prints.
it's hilarious how the bachelor always tries to mediate the hen house drama.
woaaaah! i can almost see that girl's cooter! crossed legs on the couch with ben!
"[ as blakely ] i don't love all this... i just really love luggage."- bret
get yourself off the baggage carousel and get back to the cocktails, nutbag!
poor guy is making the rounds to scrape these crazies off the floor.
i can see the blogger's cutlets.
"the model's forehead looks like ron howard" - adam.
i'm kinda missing the tension btwn crazy slc and the blogger.
elise is like a lip-less betheny frankel.
who are half of these girls?!
oooh burrrr! i'm just so freezing cause i don't eat!
"who ISN'T a dental hygenist?!"- mom
who is kacie S?! gorgeous mermaid caissie levy look-alike!
ooh good. we need to keep slc in the game.
"this is when chris pauses his xbox game and comes out of the van to announce the final rose."- adam.
boo! sending cute tracy turnblad home?!
i'm sooo curious to go to crazy blogger's website but i honestly don't want to up her numbers.
this is a good farewell monologue and i sorta love the white nail.
do you think the california tourism council is buying hosting space for their great state?
perfect cue, sirens. classic.
"they busted blakely for hooking on the corner."- adam.
he looks like a monkey.

what do you think? xo our motley crew.

ooooh mexico!

2012-01-03T01:20:00.000-05:00

i've never really been but i'd sure like to goooo!

so i am.
tomorrow am.

and i'm hoping i don't have a "charlotte" experience...
don't worry, i won't drink the water.

see you next week, loves!
hope the first week of your new year is awesome.

oh! some of you asked for my instagram name- search: natalieKhill

xo mim

the bachelor ben { episode 1--first rose ceremony }

2012-01-03T00:45:00.001-05:00

i think i start this post the same way every year...

no, i'm not really interested in this season (heard that before),

the CaveGroban (Ben looks like a caveman mixed with an ugly josh groban) just doesn't do it for me.

my girl laura hall calls him "BAN"-- cause that's how whatshername from last season said his name... so we'll go with that instead of CaveGroban cause, well, it's just 3 letters and i'm lazy in my old age....

bachelor, my first request is that you pick a location where we don't have to watch the bachelors (or their families) profusely sweat during the proposal. nothing says true love like obvious perspiration.
NICOLE! is that your old apartment that BAN just walked out of????
SOMEBODY's been tanning & hitting the gym......
i want his car.
coulda called these vineyard shots a year ago.
ok, kids. his hair is not the right texture for that cut. he looks homeless. make it short and let's be on our way....not curly, not straight.... totally fugly.
ooooh nothing says broody like a guy fake playing the piano to SOMEBODY ELSES track. thanks, david gray. super moodytown.
he really does look like a cave man. and i'm just gonna say it, groban is WAY better looking.
if you were ashley, would you watch this? i totally would.
yes, lindsey! stick that arse out while you ride, girl!
cute girl... baaaad baaad spray tan color. best to err on the side of pasty, kids.
amber scares me... not just because she's fully loaded, but she has a crazy look in her eye.
eeek! tongue move!
ooh i like this southern belle. Kacie is a doll.
and a cheeseball with bad fake tan white armpits but i like her.
ooh courtney looks a bit like jackie seiden (anybody? anybody?).
ew. she's gross.
another nurse. with a really sad story! she's sweet. i'd love to fix her hair.
she seems much older than 25 but
lyndsie is a goof. i like her. nothing is funnier than when someone from the UK speaks in their version of an american accent.
jenna, you need a better bra. or a bra in general.
and better melding... looks really damaged.
seriously, did they send a memo asking for all the girls to get bad tans and then over bronze?
playboy finance girl single mom! go girl! laaaaadies.... notice the intense blond on top & the dark hair under (i'll call it the "tracey turnblad") it's out. been out since, well.... tracey. it was never in....
texas girl is a doll.
pretty bride.
great legs.
yes, ben. that many women coming to see you IS incredible. lap it up, dude.
at least they put him in a decent suit.
nice blow out, big guy (vim).
i like rachel rose. great dress. great bangs.
poor erika is so nervous.
ew. cheesy line, pageant dress.
amber bacon! she'e been practicing that script for a while.
elyse didn't reveal that she' a trainer so that "make you sweat" thing was scary.
jenna. awkward silence......great dress. horrible intro.....
bad color on hair and skin.
most awkward interchange of all time?
again, jenna.... wear a strapless bra and lighten up on the highlighter.
ew model... too soon on the touches. he's floored. he's never dated a model.
bummer hair, emily... bold move with the first kiss. cute.
what?! the sash?! bad hair bad move.
casey is cute. hate the dress. hate the hair. he's flustered by her.
amber picked up that dress from miss puerto rico world.
these gimmicks are killing me.
derby girl, we can't see your face.
sextastic dress, southern belle!
i like jamie. that dress is a little wild...
shira needs to take an improv class... ew. she bought her dress in vegas.
blakely is gorg.
you know i hate the feathers. #birdflu.
loved the dress. reminded me of my peaches and cream barbie.
eff. another gimmick? must we suffer the indignity of watching a nearly octogenarian waste our girl bashing time?!
ok... pretty granddaughter could use a little tailoring on the front of that dress.
that gramma hater reminds me of jillian.
"sash, hat, and... a grandma"- quote of the night.
nicki is beautiful.
dress courtesy of miss venezuela 2000
oooh dianna, i for see a nip slip.
awkward.
great color on all accounts, jennifer.
good dress, j.
cute numbers game.
lyndsie is a total kook. what is that dress?
i totally like her.
anna!!! porn star!
nice move... for a porn star.
oh no!!! the crazy girl is from SLC.
she looks JUST like a blonde sierra boggess.
cute talk single mom, but what was the friend slug?!
ooooh good he commented on it too...
kacie looks fab. very sandy bullock.
cute linzie. yes, just leave the horse... he can find his way...
is that the war horse?
ooooh starting the bitchiness!
these girls are DRUNK.
kentucky derby needs to lose the hat.
oh rachel sounds a bit drag queeny.
on closer inspection, rachel has a whole lotta piercings...
not as classic a look as i initially thought.
i love these bold statements about ben and his character from a 30 second interaction.
they're ALL SO DRUNK.
linzi must have watched the kristen wiig flirting video to get those sweet hair moves.
and that blondie with the grandma looks like a busted you, brandi burkhardt.
it's broadway look-a-like bachelor today!
you've got to "cock it".....
so they def make these loonies bring a weirdo gimmick.
peaches and cream has a matching tat with kasey! match made in reunion heaven!!
i like the line danching, kacie.
drunk.
i am laughing hysterically..."it's kind of hard to have a conversation when ben is blindfolded and being fed from a garbage sack."
infectious disease girl needs to keep the rap to 16 bars.
it's still going....
she's talking about herself non stop. she hasn't asked him one thing.
hair fetish.
blogger is losing it.
why is she attacking crazy sierra look-alike.
"i'm like switzerland." love kacie.
a lezzie first? how forward, bachelor!
peaches is getting a little weirded out.
druuuunk.
why are the weirdies always from slc?! ugh.
this blogger girl is crumbling in the first minute!
it seems to me that the nyc freak show is the beginning and end of the drama?
oooh jenna is cray cray.
oh gosh! she roped poor sandy bullock into the whole affair.
please, ben. don't think sandy is in the cray cray club.
i love the creepy carnival/tim burton underscoring whenever a crazy is on screen.
she's crying in the first few hours?! give her the boot.
i'm LIVING for jenna. wanna be carrie bradshaw basket case.
oooookay. not a bad choice, ben. she's sweet.
good dress.
i like the dramatic peer around the corner. certifiable.
she looks NUTS.
i'm loving these cuts to jenna.... just house of cards.
oh, good hell! he kept jenna and dropped sandy bullock?!
jillian had to go home.. we've already seen her, amber bacon. good parting shot!!! "i'm gonna find a guy who doesn't like needy, whiny, cry-y girls."
no, you quirky brit. you're fab!
i love her!
amber, please stop crying! your bridget bardot hair is bangin!
hasn't anybody learned decency from the last seasons?! don't get trashed and you won't look like a fool!
oooh good! sandy bullock made the cut! that worried me when she was all hugging it out....
re the promo: his awkward naked dance into the water was amazing.
yes!!!! a medic rose ceremony!!!!!!
this looks like carnage!
ok. i'm in to watch.
can you tell who the girls are?
it looks like nikki and sandy bullock?
oooh good! the proposal is in Zermatt. at least no sweating.
oooooh! drama!!!!!
ok, looks to be some interesting twists.
fine. i'll watch.
you did it again, bachelor!!!! (shakes fist at sky!!!)
i like the kickball game. hilarious.

what did you think?

1.2.2012 is my new year.

2012-01-02T04:29:00.000-05:00

tonight was my last night in Mary's heels (and let me tell you, they hurt in many ways)

it was bitter sweet.

i'm ready and excited to leave jersey boys but crazy about so many people that i worked with and i'll hate not to see them every day- especially my hair guy, daryl, & dressers alisa, sherri & lori.

and my angels, nikka and meg.

so now i don't have anything or anybody holding me down.

clean slate...

which always brings me a sweet cocktail of anxiety and excitement.

my vegas bestie, madison, left this beautiful poem to motivate me.

put your trust in God.

by president gordon b hinckley

it isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is.

it all works out. don't worry.

i say that to myself every morning.

it will all work out.

put your trust in God,

and move forward with faith and

confidence in the future.

the Lord will not forsake us.

He will not forsake us.

if we put our trust in Him,

if we pray to Him,

if we live worthy of His blessings,

He will hear our prayers.

from the funeral program for

marjory pay hinckley,

april 10, 2004

hey, 2012,

bring it!

the year of 3's.

2011-12-31T20:11:00.000-05:00

this week's been super awesome.
1. ulcers
2. car accident - doesn't look bad, but the alignment made it undrivable.
3. some seedy neighbor signed for a very expensive package - stolen.

it's pretty obvious that las vegas is ready for my departure.......
which, added to other annoyances (including packing) has made me very happy to see 2011 in the distance.

here i am sandwiched between two very fragrant tow truck drivers.

i told them i'd sit middle console because lap sitting just wasn't in the cards.

i'm smiling but crying and holding my breath on the inside.

as i was feeling sorry/annoyed for myself , i received the most glorious card from bestie, dhyana.

i just need to write it here because she certainly has better perspective than i do on this year.

natalie,

they say that good things happen in 3's.

this year you've

turned the big 3-0,

made your 3'rd run on broadway,

and been a member of a fine trio of ladies

[ the 3 jersey girls ]

maybe there was some heartbreak amongst all those triumphs but

with 2012, it's a new year with new and infinite possibilities.

as you stand on stage this week saying goodbye to

jersey boys

and

las vegas

and

2011

think about all the wonderful things that await you.

have a great final show.

xo D

yeah... what she said.

may you have a safe and blessed new year and

great friends who remind you of the goodness in 2011.

a very MARY (delgado) Christmas to you!

2011-12-31T04:53:00.001-05:00

Christmas was festive with lots of parties in vegas...

i even hung out with an idol and a former playboy mansion inhabitant

(who is lovely and fun-btw)

here's a random sampling from my instagram page:

travis-one of my "frankies"- hosted a party at his house where the boys all randomly wore plaid snap-downs....

and i took a pic with my two husbands, graham and travis. it's a frankie sandwich!
(voices of angels)

i visited a christmas tree with my new buddy pals whom i met at the park and became fast friends (bible).
naturally, the a las vegas christmas tree is completely without anything tree-like and full of glittery lights.

i posed as teresa giudice (prostitution! WHORE!!).

on christmas eve, we had 2 shows (bah humbug!) so i hit in-n-out on my way to work...
my corsets were not happy with my #2.

my secret santa really took great care of me.... loads of presents and bras and g-strings and tights neath the tree.

have yourself a very MARY Christmas!

the next am, at the crack of dawn, stella and i hopped a flight to utah for the day.
in true hill family fashion, the second i stepped off the plane, i was raced home to throw on a dress, handed a piece of bizarrely harmonized music and told to sight sing in church.....
i'm pretty sure it sounded dreadful but what do you people expect! 3 part harmony unrehearsed?!
par for the course with this group.

stella lives for my dad. here she's modeling her new michael j fox puffy vest that m & d gave her over her jammies and dad appears to be clutching the torah.
close, it's a genealogy chart that kara (the official grandma-she LOVES puzzles and family history) gave him.

my ocd BIL re-spooled all the ribbons & they looked grand.

somebody actually went to the trouble to knit (or hired some poor starving person in a developing country) this lovely sprite koozie. because nothing says Christmas quite like warm sprite?!
whyyyyy?!

and ali found this neat-o fizz keeper so we put that warm sprite to work and had shirley temples on tap.

i will say, i DID feel the spirit of Christmas when i sang in church-
(by the way, NEVER EVER ask me to sing in church, your funeral/wedding/any special occasion where i could be touched or moved.... because when i feel things, i just cry. it's my go-to.
sorry. not sorry. )

so that's my random christmas and my bizarre commentary.

were you naughty or did santa bring you something nice? - direct quote from my acupuncturist..... gross. for the record, no man should say that to any girl of any age. creeper.

2011-12-30T17:44:00.002-05:00

{ blerg } i've been trying to post christmas pictures, car accident pictures, etc... for days but blogger won't recognized the newest imports to my iphoto.....

still working on it....

hold tight...

what are you doing new years eve?

2011-12-29T16:09:00.003-05:00

one of my favorite songs of all time...
and now one of my favorite versions...

so really, what are you doing? and who is holding you tight?

a weekend entitled "subtle lips"

2011-12-29T04:21:00.001-05:00

the brightest bit about living in sin city is the constant influx of visitors.
subsy and her mom & sis visited me a few wks ago where celebrated subsy's birth by eating dinner + fried oreos @ lavo.

miss emily showing her texas baton skills with a lavo breadsticks

brunch at simon, naturally....

with an extra large cotton candy
which always makes my kidneys hurt...

"mean reds"

subs bought those ridiculous stick on lip thingys- which were bizarre and hard to put on

but provided us with tear-inducing laughs
(which doesn't really say much considering we could have fun with a cardboard box.
i honestly think our sleepover approximate age is roughly 13 yrs old)

and made me look like a disco queen/blow up doll.

i love my friend.
thanks for visiting, subs!

merry little christmases now and all that...

2011-12-20T03:19:00.000-05:00

4 yr old pic of stellie and me by sussy

have you ever heard the original lyrics to "have yourself a merry little christmas?"

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last,
Next year we may all be living in the past
Have yourself a merry little Christmas, pop that champagne cork,
Next year we will all be living in New York.

No good times like the olden days, happy golden days of yore,
Faithful friends who were dear to us, will be near to us no more.

But at least we all will be together, if the Fates allow,
From now on we'll have to muddle through somehow.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

depressing, no?

but i DO like the lyric, "next year we all will be living in new york."

when i was around 8 or 9, i duped my mom into telling me that santa wasn't real.

i'll never forget it.

we had gone to crossroads plaza in SLC to attend the nordstrom (half-yearly/ anniversary??) sale. the children's department felt immense to me at that age.

just dozens of giant rounders stuffed with clothes- an ideal place to play and hide if only it was appropriate.

i truly believed santa was real but i had heard whisperings at school. Not wanting to be the last to know, i decided i'd fish it out of my mom.

i scooted around the party dresses and said, "everyone at school knows that santa isn't real."

mom: "oh! you found out?"

cue crushed spirit and massive heartbreak.

that christmas felt like a giant hoax. i wanted to tell my sisters -not for the justice of knowing, but cause if my christmas was going to be hell, i wanted to ruin EVERYONE ELSES! (i was 8... with a vindictive streak, obviously)

not since that wretched christmas have i found the season so empty.

sure, i've spent many holidays away from my family, but was always surrounded by great friends and a lovely environment. and even though i DO get to skip to utah for 24 hrs on christmas day (yaaay!), it just doesn't feel like christmas....

i know the spirit of christmas begins with me- yadda, yadda, yadda....

i've done the work! i'm not a slacker!

i've read about the Christ child, i've sung carols, i've done it all.... still nothing. ugh.

christmas is home & snow & cold & nyc lights & hot cocoa @ rockefeller center & deer valley & family & puzzles & gingersnaps & homespun nativity spectaculars & christmas markets & love.

so much love.

but i'm feeling very alone in this palm tree place.

i'm sure some of you are in the same boat... and instead of being all cheery and sappy, i'm telling you, i feel your pain. i get it.

but enough of that. let's look forward to future christmases?

ok... i'm gonna cheer up with the revised lyrics to "have yourself a merry little christmas"... especially this verse:

through the years

we all will be together

if the {Lord} allows

Hang a shining star

upon the highest bar and

have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

here's to next year... here's to christmas's that won't always feel like this and here's to choosing to have a merrier christmas NOW.

oooh, and have you seen the 2011 Hill Family Christmas card?

for the record, i was not entirely behind it but i was out voted:

check it out on sussy's blog

*also, sorry about the font eye offense---blogger is messsssed up right now...

happy hanukkah, chickens!

2011-12-20T03:08:00.000-05:00

photo of my dreidels by sussy

girlfriends, loyalty and the ex-factor

2011-12-19T20:34:00.001-05:00

girls are (generally) pretty loyal to their species...
i've definitely deflected a man's attention when one of my gals have previously expressed interest in that gentleman....

but why?

just because my gal feels a twitter about a certain male--even when he doesn't return her affection, should i keep myself from a possible love connection just because that man is spoken for?

on the flip side,

i once entertained a gentleman. he was beyond lovely, but i didn't feel a spark. we hung out a lot, but kissed only one time and i set the record straight.
i DID, however, have stomach fireworks with his roommate.... and he returned the affection but wouldn't step on the toes of man #1 and didn't....for YEARS. i felt it was horribly unfair to brand me especially when his friends were so terribly eligible and date-worthy.

but there does need to be some loyalty, no?

after my annulment, i found solace in a girlfriend who didn't know my former husband. she was a great shoulder to cry on and helped me in many a time in need.
six months later, when i was doing a west side story in chicago, she went radio silent. a few months later, she called me and told me she'd been dating my former husband- in fact, she had sought him out- and asked me advice on how to get him back after he had learned we were friends and didn't feel good about dating a close friend of mine (good guy!). initially, i tried to be the bigger person- i mean, who am i to stand in the way of a great love? but really? of all of the men in the world, you'd seek out my former husband who lives across the country?! i was crushed but thankful that he took the high road.

so let's define this, shall we?

if all really is fair in love and war, are there boundaries? should we be loyal? i'd certainly rather have a great partner in love than a mediocre friend.....

and as we all know, some besties are life long and some are circumstantial...

but here's how i see it:

if you are my good friend/ sister, don't you DARE think about going after my big ex's... don't touch mister, v, my ex husb, or really any major ex i've had in the last 10 years......

if you are my good friend and are interested in dating a fringe boy (who never made it to the big boyfriend show), just throw me a heads up and i'll be a-ok.

how do feel about it?
have you been down this road before?

SW at Wynn

2011-12-18T20:27:00.000-05:00

i was invited by some very interesting men to join them on an outing to SW at the wynn.

i've eaten a lot of outrageous meals in vegas but this was my very favorite.

the best steak, celery soup, fois gras, chedder/bacon biscuits, brussels sprout, creamed corn and FUNNEL CAKES on a tree.

i'm still craving it.

it was over 3 wks ago...

i love a good meal.

stella's two moms

2011-12-18T20:20:00.001-05:00

my vegas bestie, madison (we'll call her that due to her shocking resemblance to daryl hannah in "splash"), is the most insanely giving, thoughtful, and generous person i've ever met.
before she fled the country for christmas with her family (rockstar), she dropped off a whole host of presents for miss stella and me.

i'm pretty sure stella loves madison more than me. i don't blame her - she cooks organic salmon & chicken for her and allows her to run around lavish golf courses to get exercise- she's crazy about madison. crazy. and goes into a funk whenever i take her back into my custody.

stella (and i) had a particularly rough night --naturally, i slept on the cold bathroom floor & held her hair while she barfed ;) and madison suggested we let stella open her pressies to cheer her up.

poor santa lost an arm in the process.
i'll tell you, nothing cheers a girl up quite like 4 bags of organic treats,

a chewy vuitton purse,

christian loubarktan heels

flannel christmas jammies-that were SO cute/funny-but because i never put her in clothes, she acted like she was paralyzed from the waist down.
she guards and protects those toys with her life.

and a gorgeous swarovski crystal'd , black leather collar & leash set with
stella's new my-two-mom's hyphenated name & BOTH of our phone numbers on the back....

isn't it fitting that a nyc dog would have two moms?

hilarious.

i'm pretty sure stella would rather go with her "cool mom" for the holidays....

girl hunter

2011-12-15T04:26:00.001-05:00

remember my fabulous friend, georgia?

she wrote a new book, girl hunter,
which was released today and already made amazon's recommended book list!

g is so fancy AND smart- two books?!
sheesh.... i'm behind on this blog!

watch this sexy video trailer.....
somebody needs her own tv show......

congrats, G! buy her book!

i'm leaving las vegas!

2011-12-14T20:24:00.001-05:00

hooray!!!
i'm so excited to announce that my final jersey boys performance will be
january 1, 2012 (when the show closes at Palazzo and moves to the Paris)!

then i'm back to the big apple and onto the next big adventure....
good things to come, i'm sure.

vegas has been good to me.
i've had a blast and made a new bestie (i'm a bestie collector, as it turns out...)
but vegas isn't home--
it was like a nice transition boyfriend...
mr right now, not mr right.

i can't wait to see the people & city that i love on a daily basis.
west coast, come see me before i go away!

photo of me by the lovely ed foster

mary kay's pink sand

2011-12-13T03:12:00.001-05:00

mary kay
(no, i'm not a distributer
but my girl, erika is....)
has the most perfect pinkie/nudie nail polish,
pink sand.

it looks fantastic on all skin colors-
great wedding color, gals.

ugh... it's limited edition so hurry and get one-or three-
(i'm on bottle #2)
for your stocking.

save BONNIE & CLYDE!!

2011-12-12T19:02:00.000-05:00

my darling friends,

i have to tell you something:
often, people are mean.
often, people will lie and slander you when you are good and true
and have the best of intentions.

it has nothing to do with you.
it has more to do with them....
they are small and ungracious and have motivations
that you will never understand because you love when good things and people succeed.

sadly, the broadway community can be that way in every facet.
i've seen horrible things written and said about brilliant performances and brilliant pieces..... with no founding.

that's happened to our dear bonnie & clyde.
critics often have personal vendettas about people in the cast/creative team or
interest in other shows going into a specific theatre...
sadly, critics think it's "highbrow" to slam a wildhorn score.
it's personal, it's nasty, and it's unfair...
(as a singer, i live to sing a great melodic line... frank writes that)
bonnie & clyde is his best work yet.
the music will move you and never leave you.
and it should be heard.

laura osnes (and i'm not swayed because she's my bestie) gives the performance of a lifetime. she sings her face off and slays it nightly. jeremy jordan is a dazzling star with the most thrilling voice and genius acting chops. claybourne elder (another dear sweet utahan) will break your heart as "buck" & melissa van der schyff is one of the most incredible actresses/voices of our time. you MUST see her as "blanche."

but it's in trouble. at this point, it is not closing but is not selling tickets past 12/30....
unless YOU help.
if they can pack the houses for the next two weeks and show that people want to see this show, the investors will keep it open.

WE can prove that critics don't always get it right.
WE can choose what we want to see.
and WE can save hundreds of jobs for actors/stagehands/ushers/musicians.

if you're in NYC, buy a ticket.
if you're not in NYC, you can STILL buy a ticket and
and give it to a friend in town OR----

simply purchase a ticket, tweet @tadwilson & tell him it's waiting for him at the box office-
he'll give the tickets to people who otherwise couldn't purchase a ticket.

CHARITY!

see B&C this week and get our personal FRIENDS & FAMILY DISCOUNT!!!
You can purchase these at the box office or via Tele-charge using the code BCWANTED.
The prices are below:

Orchestra/Front Mezz - $82.50/$79.50
Mid Mezz - $69.50
Rear Mezz - $59.50

be a part of a christmas miracle, won't you?

listen to one of my favorite songs:

i love @broadwaygirlnyc!

2011-12-09T02:54:00.001-05:00

(this thing hid in drafts! sneaky sneaky- so it's kind of old news but still mega cool)

@broadwaygirlnyc listed her
100 theatre tweeters you must follow
and i made the list for the second year!
honestly, i like this girl.
she's always positive
(never snarky- a rare find in the theatre world)
plus she said super nice things about me
so obvi, i think she's the bees knees...
i want to meet the elusive pimpernel!

thanks, broadwaygirlnyc!

you can follow her { here }
and follow me { here }-- i can't promise anything spectacular...
mostly just drivel and things i find funny or charming.

i kind of love the twitter.

luxury magazine

2011-12-09T02:22:00.001-05:00

i was featured in this month's luxury magazine by celebrity journalist, marsala rypka.
the piece was on leigh zimmerman, joyce chittick, and me--
(holy moly! they're both VASTLY more famous/fierce/experienced than i
- remember leigh as the "chicago" girl in the bway jockey ad?!
i remember being so blown away by those LEGZ)
"broadway beauties" now living in vegas.

you never know what people will take from an interview, but in this case,
marsala and i became fast friends and spoke for nearly 2 hours.

she's such a wonderfully kind and supportive woman.
i'm so grateful she's now in my life.
lucky me.

new friends.
now THAT'S luxury.

check it out by clicking { here } then scroll on their online magazine to page 34

garth

2011-12-08T02:28:00.001-05:00

on friday, i was lucky enough to see garth brooks in concert at the wynn.

woah, that was an experience.
garth singing james taylor, simon & garfunkle, george jones, meryl haggard......
ugh! it was outrageous.
he's a brilliant story teller and has absolutely perfect pitch.
i'm so crazy about him
(so long as i could keep myself from having chris gaines feelings).

trisha yearwood sang 2 songs with him and i nearly died. it was totally incredible.
you must see it.
you must.

lizzing

2011-12-08T02:26:00.001-05:00

there are days when i swear i look/think just like liz lemon......

a new hand jive winner!!!

2011-12-05T02:51:00.001-05:00

remember that one time when i stole the hand jive trophy from GREASE?
i told you about it { here }
(a. pardon that heinous in-action nostril flared shot-
remember i danced that thing in a corset- sister couldn't breathe.
b. i deserved it! i worked my tail off for it!)

right after the heist with greaser, kevin quillon.

so when i was doing bye bye birdie i presented it to my
dance-off competitor, anna aimee white,
when she got her next broadway show, WHITE CHRISTMAS.
(partially to make a fun tradition and partially to get that eye-sore out of my apartment!)

and she returned it to me on my opening night of WONDERLAND

(both of us were in the SAME

Marquis theatre dressing room.)

ironically, the same stage management team (whom i love)

and general manager did both GREASE and WONDERLAND

so when this package arrived at the stage door,

i was SURE i'd be in trouble for stealing (oops)

.... happily, our general manager loved the tradition and gave it her blessing.

and i felt it only fitting to present (with special thanks to kate loprest for delivering)
miss laura osnes with the trophy
(i figure, if "sandy" would have gone to the dance,
she probably would have beat "cha cha" in the HAND JIVE)
on her opening night as "bonnie" in BONNIE AND CLYDE
(which you MUST see because it's brilliant and she's brilliant in it...)

anna pointed out that this trophy has opened two wildhorn musicals
and been in two marquis dressing rooms... cool.

grease is the word!!

sit on santa's lap.

2011-12-01T20:17:00.001-05:00

have you seen this improv everywhere video?
they do musicals in random places- in this case, a mall...
can you imagine how funny/ awkward to have this spring on you?

my college boyfriend is the first idiot singing.
i laughed my head off.
look for his pretty wife, carrie,
who is crouching as a spectator with their adorable son, T

10 things i've learned about Las Vegas men:

2011-11-29T16:45:00.001-05:00

pretty friends out for a vegas brunch

even without a wedding ring, there is a 90% chance the guy flirting with you is married or engaged with an unsuspecting lady at home.
you should hold onto your drink-even water- at all times.
if they throw money around & talk about it, chances are, they don't have a lot.
if they don't talk about money and are evasive about what they do for a living, chances are, they are loaded...or in the mafia.
men in their 40's & 50's wear a uniform: embellished jeans (vim), flowery shirts with contrasting cuffs (think "cam's" wardrobe from modern family) and pointy or square toe'd boots. you can spot a bad divorce from a mile away...
the men you wish would talk to you can generally never get to you because inevitably, the strangest guy in the joint will try to monopolize your attention the second you walk in the room.
it's a good idea to keep mints/gum on hand... most LV male breath smells like a garlic brothel.
a man who makes (in his estimation) a lot of money, automatically believes that you will be interested in him...... even if he's 20 + yrs older and borderline disgusting.
the only men you'd want to meet are just in for the weekend- conventions, bachelor parties, etc....
they never let you pay for anything- BUENO!!

SIMON

2011-11-28T19:57:00.001-05:00

i've told you before, but we're crazy about
simon restaurant at the palms. - there's also a Simon in LA!

the food is outrageous, and every time we've gone, i've met wildly entertaining men.

Chef Kerry Simon sent us this insane bucket of cotton candy-
if any of you are familiar with the real housewives of beverly hills, you'll remember that this is the site of Taylor's sexual cotton candy eating.......

evidently, i have different ideas about playing with my food....

we adore chef Kerry. he's become a fun friend.

and the view from the Palm's ghost bar isn't bad either....

viva las vegas.

Vegas is for girls weekends | part one

2011-11-28T19:45:00.001-05:00

mom & her 2 sisters had a little girls weekend a few weeks ago.

no husbands/ kids (except for me- do i count?)

and a lot of hilarity.

on day one, we didn't have time to go home

so they made the palazzo garage their dressing room....

we keep it low maintenance...

sister love/ encouraging peg that these shades look amazing on her...

took them to simon for brunch.... best. brunch. in. vegas.

& went to PURE FOOT SPA for awesome foot massages (twice...)

it's amazing what happens when competent women are without responsibility...
every single one of them lost their cell phones at least once or twice...
thankfully we found them.

had such a great time with these amazing women.
so proud to have their blood.

Hero Tree

2011-11-25T18:41:00.001-05:00

this is such an incredible organization
(founded by my amazing, giving, hilarious, generous high school bestie,
LaRee & her amazing superstar basketball husband, Travis Hansen)
where i'll be giving this year.

i know we'd all love it if you did too...

more information about the little heroes foundation { here }

2011-11-25T18:37:00.001-05:00

did you see this???

never before and never again will these classes be 40% off (including new classes!)
you may see me in one or two... (i promise i'll do my homework, alma...)

visit nicole's classes for more info.