things Mormon men should never do:

never.

EVER.
ask a girl to go on your first date to the temple.
and DEFINITELY don't ask to do sealings.
ever.

it's weird & intense on so many levels.
and if i need to explain that to you, we're not a match.

*for those of you who aren't LDS,
 the temple is a special and sacred place and 
not somewhere i'd go with someone
 i'm dating until we're near engagement... it's just bizarre.


photo of kara's wedding by sussy. 

and while you're at sephora...

i've branched out from my old standby (and only shade that looks flattering on EVERY skin tone), NARS orgasm blush.
decided to try tarte's amazonian clay 12-hour blush in blissful.
this shade is really brightening my skin and lasted an entire ski day.

i want a few more shades.

have you tried it?

{ the bachelor- ben } episode 9 - sex in switzerland!!

ugh! how did i miss that crazy court's vows were from SATC?! 

prolly because i was SO creeped out and bored by it and still new to pinterest....

today, we had mom and dad (who are new bach devotees), adam, nicole & ali. 

1. two "adventures, two "these women," and two "journey's" in the first intro. well done, ben. your vocabulary is getting smaller and smaller and smaller.
2. poor nikki, that booty/muffin top/tramp stamp shot. 
3. and why the hell is ben "angry?"
4. nikki says "like" a lot... and with a glottal fry...which as you know, makes me murderous. 
5. the high woodwind underscoring is making me vim. 
6. yes, she wears her "country" with her wretched makeup/hair style and wears her "city" when she doesn't know how to get off a horse. 
7. ben is from "planet of the apes!"- dad.
8.  watch ben's stiff / put out arm as he pulls lindzi's parents.
9. courtney's "magical force"= sex. 
10. courtney's nerdy? i didn't know nerds have a below average IQ. 
11. look at that patchy beard?! woof. 
12. ben's favorite adjective twins: magestic + magical. 
13. look at that FIERCE euro outfit! 
14. looks more like a monkey than ever...
15. i'm desperate to go to switzerland. 
16. did nikki lose weight or is she just dressing for her figure?
17. clothes are a good accessory for nikki.- mom
18. "the country of the alps"
19. um... now bout italy and austria and all the other countries "of the alps"?! what an idot!- dad
20. ew color co-ordinated nails to coat? lets add in boots and eye shadow and you'll be 1988!
21. oh my! this is the best helicopter view yet!
22. ben looks more excited by the mountains than the girl. 
23. that helicopter dive looks terrifying. 
24. i was hoping they'd go down!!- ali
25. oooh yeah! he's really taking the bull by the horns! what a hero- mom re: nikki feeling "safe" with ben. 
26. this is gorgeous. 
27. ben is one cut away from a stacked bob.- brit tueller zeedik. 
28. ben is bright orange. 
29. way to manipulate, nik! bring up the dead dad.
30. nice hunchback mic pac. 
31. so nikki does that confessional in a one shoulder sheer sweater and just seconds earlier, ben was in a giant sleeping bag parka & gloves. 
32. you missed the scream from the mountain top opportunity. 
33. and WHY ISN'T ANYONE SPINNING AND SPINNING AND SINGING "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE....."
34. this expisode should be called, "sex in switzerland!"- dad.
35. ooooh hell. another metaphor! cliff metaphor?! woof. 
36. that makes my butt tingle just to watch that panorama. 
37. wonder how long they had to stay there. 
38. wonder how cold they are- ali.
39. wonder if they have to urinate- mom.
40. i honestly think ben gets uglier and more boring. 
41. where did they find this guy?!- dad
42. i think nikki botoxed her mouth btwn home town and now... right?
43. these girls are so starry-eyed. 
44. "take it to the next level" is my LEAST favorite sentence of all time. 
45. as IF she wouldn't say yes...
46. um.. he sounded so non plussed by her agreeing to the sex suite. 
47. they get this huge place?
48. ew. nothing says STD-land like a sheepskin rug. 
49. that bed looks very unsexy. 
50. ooooh! put your clothes on! it'll make you look thinner- mom.
51. oooop back to dad talk! nikki is a manipulator! 
52. he just sits there and nods while these idiots babble and sell themselves. woof. 
53. i hate the button henley under the button down. 
54. woooah girl, it's just a jacuzzi. simmer down on that reaction. 
55. bummer bikini for back fat- not judging- anyone who has real boobs has it. 
56. who wants to be the girl who just says i love you and he only responds by kissing. that's so gross!- mom
57. woof. this whole thing is vimmy. 
58. oooh boy! a fear factor challenge! i'm sure we'll get a "falling" metaphor. 
59. oooh a jake pavelka move by kacie b?!
60. stupid ali is just trying desperately to get one more minute out of her 2 min of fame. go away. 
61. she has no clothes on and he's totally bundled. 
62. sweet nipple shot. 
63. i like the extra curl in that horribly colored hair. 
64. that looks like Provo canyon- dad. 
65. screw switzerland!- adam. 
66. she's smuggling tic tacs! - adam.
67. i need to go to interlaken. 
68. she now looks like a dead oompa loompa.
69. why does she have to do all the adventuring?
70. i want court to have to jump out of something and show her true colors. 
71. how does he have "no idea."
72. ben is shaking! what a wuss!- adam.
73. hey, bieber! nice hood!
74. marriage is JUST like repelling off of a cliff. 
75. um... this is not that scary....
76. im afraid of heights and this is just lowering yourself on a rope...big deal. 
77. i want ben to wet his pants and have it drip down the depths. 
78. ben, you're not "free falling."
79. "oh my gosh" & "oh my DAD" .... what is he saying?! 
80. op and there's the kiss. 
81. ben's idea of free falling is being lowered by a swiss man an inch a minute. - adam.
82. oh, you two!  you MADE IT!
83. i'm sorry, but the golden gate challenge was a million times scarier. 
84. that's a sexier jacuzzi. 
85. is she looking at his mouth ? and not his eyes?
86. he is as sexy as a sterile pediatrician. 
87. DEAR ABC, PLEASE, IN YOUR BACHELOR GROOMING, TEACH THE IGNORAMUS BACHELOR/ETTES THAT "LINDZI AND I'S" IS NOT OK . NOT OK.
88. is lindzi 3 months pregnant? 
89. she has a hot body... what is happening? beer belly?
90. a bow tie, huh? 
91. his hair does not go with formal wear. 
92. there are some seriously awkward flowers happening...
93. "hum"... good feigning interest. 
94. he never asks a question. just listens to them spout emotional jargon. 
95. "believe me, i've loved watching you open up.".........ew. 
96. every slut starts out with the sentence, "normally, i dont...... "
97. lindzi's dress is too small. doesn't fit her shoulders or hoo ha. 
98. why is she thanking him?  like he's paying for it?
99. yeah, girl. "put it all out there." 
100. woah! 
101. are we seeing cooter?
102. her feet look like a mannequin. 
103. i want courtney to show up in a swiss miss costume. 
104. we asked dad to pause it so i could go grab dessert:
105. i don't want to pause it looking at courtney!- dad.
106. i like that courtney does her own verbal recap - as if we didn't know her batshit crazy fake wedding with the stolen vows. 
107. oooh she's so demure and cold hiding in her sleeves!
108. apparently they have their very own solo train?
109. omg!i need to go there!
110. ben talking about "glaciers" and "peaks"
111. is that code for courtney's boobs?- adam
112. oooh court! that baby voice is soooo tender!
113. no one is around....
114. it must be the crack of dawn. 
115. really, court? this is what your life would be like? while ben is picking grapes in california?
116. the girl is knock kneed. 
117. one thing she does well: she always looks right at ben when he's speaking. - dad
118. please bless that harrison shows up in lederhosen and yodels "ladies, this is the final rose."
119. did she lose her pinky and thumb in a tragic accident?
120. all this "worry" about the other girls is a total decoy. 
121. well you should have thought about that when you were being such a biatch- dad. 
122. nothing sexier than a war bomb shelter filled with wine. 
123. these damage control confessionals aren't going to help... sorry, abc, we all still think she's delusional biatch. 
124. get your hands out of your hair!! so unsanitary!- mom.
125. she's an interrupting cow. 
126. it's all about YOU, ben. how can every woman in your life support YOU. 
127. ugh. this guy is unbearable. 
128. you want "normal?" i dunno... ben is ABNORMALLY boring. soo....
129. "stay as a couple" .. so we can interloken.- nicole.
130. "so we can have uninterrupted"..... SEX?  or everything works too..... 
131. she thinks this place is a dump. 
132. ooh bearskin?! STD-town. 
133. he is SO hard to look at. 
134. especially when he's happy. 
135. courtney has this in a lock. 
136. she's holding him like he's the girl. 
137. i love the posing over his shoulder. 
138. oooh good! on to emily! 
139. nice house, girl. 
140. that ricki is so much older. 
141. what's happening in that armoire with all those caged stuffed animals. 
142. she's had a lot of work done on that mouth. 
143. i love her, though. 
144. woof. two of the most annoying bachelorettes in history. 
145. love the gold glitter mini. 
146. there is at least a pound of makeup on each of them. 
147. these makeup artists are gorgeous. 
148. they are dressed to go do the club in the middle of the day!
149. by themselves..... 
150. vomit. i don't want to hear about your love with jp. 
151. lotta plaids happening there, ben. 
152. kacie looks adorable. 
153. i'd totally fly back to get a vacation and tell him about that evil cow. 
154. did he drop the f-bomb?
155. oh, poor girl. 
156. she looks a little under slept. 
157. wouldn't it be great if he just said, "why are you here?!"
158. no. she did not fly back just for a post-mordem. 
159. oop. there it is... the families. 
160. double rejection! why do girls do this?!
161. oooh she knows it was about the moving in together. 
162. still doesn't change his mind. 
163. keep it moving!
164. falap ball change, pivot turn walk. walk. walk. walk.
165. and here comes the court.
166. it's going to look like she's doing this just because she's rejected. 
167. he's not sincerely asking for more. 
168. that's not her biggest zinger, there's more dirt there... throw the other quotes out, kacie!
169. he's not buying it. 
170. ben is still in sex glow from the night before. 
171. but courtney's a model!-dad.
172. he can't even be nice to her. 
173. why is he being such a db?!
174. oooh full lay out on the floor!
175. that's not sanitary- adam. 
176. maybe her pants are too tight- mom
177. maybe she has gas. 
178. how funny would it be if courtney steps over her body on the floor with an ice bucket and says "winning?!" - ali.
179. he is such a low character person! why couldn't he have thanked her for her concern and acted like a gentleman!- dad.
180. he's not re-thinking anything- nicole
181. he's re-thinking his raging case of gonorrhea- adam. 
182. i'd like to point out that adam called out that kacie b is wearing joe's jeans. 
183. we've trained him ;)
184. i'm more excited for "women tell all" and "after the final rose" than any other episode. 
185. nikki is going home. for sure. 
186. i love that he has to brief harrison as though he doesn't know what's happening. 
187. chris is doing "reflective listening."- mom (the social worker)
188. "i have this... i have this..."
189. i have a burning sensation in my crotch!- adam. 
190. he got his outfit at savers (salvation army)- dad. 
191. it's his scholastic swiss look. 
192. a kacie rose ceremony twist?
193. rejection #3- nicole. 
194. i like that ben is going for a marlo thomas hair flip. 
195. harrison is trying to keep his eyes open- nicole. 
196. totally listening bishopric style. 
197. "where's your head?"
198. between courtney's pillows- ali
199. well... one is on top of my shoulders and the other has medical ointment applied to it. -adam.
200. oh, my! we're on a roll tonight, kids!
201. oooh nikki. terribly unflattering color and cut on that dress!
202. court is in her "kiss of the spiderwoman" costume. 
203. lindzi's dress is from dillards 2001, you know it. 
204. courtney's a model! - dad. 
205. ooooh! there's plaid on his jacket as well! 3 competitive plaids! 
206. adam calls lindzi gets the first rose. 
207. well done, adam!!!
208. who ever goes home is the worst in bed!!!- adam.
209. sex tie breaker- nicole. 
210. you know all three gave it up. 
211. bye nikki. 
212. the tolling bells are so dramatical. 
213. yeah... shock to no one. 
214. maybe she can sit next to kacie b on the way home. 
215. that dress is truly tragic. 
216. what if one of the girls got prego from the fantasy suite and revealed it on after the final rose....
217. that'd be good tv. 
218. her hair looks better than it's ever looked. 
219. how does that car have a california plate? 
220. did they go back to ca?
221. now the plate is euro...
222. guess they used stock before. 
223. nice catch, dad. 
224. you've never been in love with someone who didn't love you back? 
225. well, welcome to the club, girl. 
226. my parents are thrilled. they love zermatt. 
227. they are TOTALLY setting kacie b up to be the bachelorette. 
228. i wish courtney and lindzi had to be at the "women tell all."

see?

no makeup on the face.
left eye has one swipe of "they're real" from benefit
&
the right is mascara-free.

both are benefitting from liLash.. let me tell you!
otherwise they're scary little wisps.

real lash extenders

after four insanely painful allergic reactions to my tranny lash extensions (did any of you watch kristin chenoweth's nutty/drunk david letterman eyelash extension interview?!?)

and losing my expendable income, 

i went back to my natural lash...

after almost nine months of luscious peeps, 

i had little to NO lashes left of my own. 

i'm seriously not exaggerating that i had giant chunks of lash missing, maybe 4 skinny little scraggely lashes, and the rest had been so damaged that the lashes were the consistency of duck fuzz. 

i cried over it. 

so i painted my lips red (for everything) to distract from my sad lashies (see above pic)

got back onto li lash which is cheaper, better, easier than latisse

and  tried my new favorite mascara, they're real! from benefit. 

it's better than all of the dior mascaras.

i've converted all of my sisters.

though madison says i'm an absolute fool and we all need to try cle de peau .

i believe that she is the authority on all things beauty but i'm reticent to blow $50 on a mascara.... that's the whole reason i got rid of lash extensions...

and just a few weeks later, my lashes look amazeballs.  

thick, dark, lush & at least my eyes no longer look like a stripper... can't say much about the rest of me.... 

looking for a web designer

blends,
i'm looking for a groovy web designer
who is interested in mim trade.

anybody know anybody?
i need website & blog re-design expertise.

let me know!

MormonInManhattan@gmail.com

photo of me by sussy about 100 yrs ago

um... adele.

{ the bachelor- ben } episode 8 - ben likes models

sooo... did the show start right away with the florida date? cause that's where my dvr started.....

this bach grouping is the small version of my fam. 

here's what we're thinking:

1. is it my tv or is lindzi BRIGHT orange. oompa loompa orange. 
2. clementine color.
3. cutie color.
4. tangerine color.
5. ben's color is slightly more normal... so yup. she's orange.
6. she just nailed that poor horse in the back of the head with that spur...
7. um... that's not how you dismount a horse. you bring your leg around the back of the horse. 
8. she doesn't know how to ride. 
9. and you don't lead a horse with one rein.
10. it's not a big part of her life either, homeboy.... she's a horsewoman as much he's a fly fisherman. 
11. how about lipstick? can lipstick please be a part of your life?
12. she's wearing the frosty white burts bees chapstick- ali
13. "horse farm".... that's technically called a "ranch."
14. i'm just waiting for the wind to blow her extensions exposed....
15. ben needs chapstick. 
16. ewww nasty soul patch and greasy hair. 
17. nice lick of the lips.. they were pretty parched. sick.
18. does ben have highlights?
19. over the river and thru the woods, idiot.
20. they look like deranged amish folk in that buggy. 
21. that lap sit looks comfy, doesn't it. 
22. did ben just drop that dog?
23. omg! mfeo city hall!
24. charriot races?! that's fun. 
25. dad's got the lean down!
26. they got that music from the superbowl.
27. mom needs a more supportive bra- mom.
28. lindzi's voice = hot pokers on my eardrum
29. that's a serious horse bit necklace on mom.
30. full dad sweat. 
31. jaycob is obsessed with the wine glasses- he says they made 5 million in 10 months. i think they're ugly. 
32. she's not spontaneous!- dad.
33. kacie has such cute style.. but WHY is she going bra-less?!
34. stop it!
35. where is she with her baton?
36. oop! there it is!
37. this band is terrible! 
38. nice illusion, kace! that looked good! 
39. she is adorable in that forever 21 poncho. 
40. she should have just committed to the curly day- always check the weather. 
41. that's his "i'm listening" but i'm not really listening face- dad. 
42. he always looks bored when the gals are pouring their hearts out. 
43. kacie's drinking enough for mom & dad. 
44. so why is he still calling her "kacie b?" there's only one kacie in this race. 
45. mom drops the "so..." at the end of every sentence. 
46. woooah! that accent is thiiiack. 
47. it's a tennessee frizz fest. 
48. sis should consider a better hair color. ashy!
49. dad already scares me. 
50. sounds like he scares kacie as well. 
51. eek. this interview is awkward..
52. cricket...cricket....
53. this whole drill set up is so strange. 
54. can't they just have fun with the families?!
55. his hair gets worse and worse. 
56. kacie's mom could be totally hot with a new look. 
57. i think she's younger than she looks. 
58. why is mom bringing up the marriage issue?! this is something that kacie should address. 
59. he's hating this. 
60. dad is right on. it's just too intense for this point in their relationship. 
61. that's thicker eyeliner on her than i've ever seen on her...
62. good, dad. 
63. ft. worth is so fun. i love texas too, ben!
64. "slow-to-go."
65. them are some big ole .... everythings, nick. 
66. the cross earrings are a big statement. 
67. yes! i love that cowboy salesman!
68. oooh hell! we suffered thru a horse metaphor with lindzi and now a boot metaphor with nikki?! sick. 
69. costume change for lindzi. 
70. he looks HORRIBLE. horrible. 
71. "beating a dead horse"- how insensitive after lindzi ;)
72. i don't think those kinds of sequins are for daytime. 
73. ladies, exhale while you speak. this hard glottal speaking is KILLING ME!!!!
74. singers are so annoying, i know...
75. he's such a grandma-ish lip licker. 
76. honestly, i'm SO bored by these true confessions. 
77. what's with the one shoulder shirts? - dad
78. it's the one skinny bit & she needs to expose it. 
79. nikki is wasted in the confessionals- surprise surprise. 
80. that is a super unflattering outfit on nikki. 
81. woah, laura! that's a print!!
82. again, mom would be really pretty with a better /softer look. 
83. the last two dads look like each other- dad.
84. again, another girl with a bad bra. 
85. these bed confessions are so awkie. 
86. i love that she's retelling her mom about her story... as if she didn't know she was divorced?
87. i had faith in your judgement and clearly, you're incompetent- especially considering you're on the bachelor- nikki's dad.
88. yuck! what are they eating!!! all the food is the same color!
89. well, there is texas toast!
90. so... nobody grilled ben? interesting. 
91. ew. clouded glasses and a dog kennel in the corner. 
92. couldn't the set dressers have helped?!
93. crying, red, and wasted. 
94. courtney's a model! - ben's thoughts while nikki professes his love. 
95. kacie b is out of the running -dad.
96. these hometowns are super boring. 
97. i'm looking forward to crazy courtney. 
98. another idiot goes bra-less. 
99. oooh look at her try to do damage control after the fact! sorry, court. nobody is buying it. 
100. so he only brought flowers to the last 3 girls? sorry lindz. 
101. courtney's outfit is adorable.... with a bra. 
102. i feel like this is rent-a-family. courtney doesn't act like she knows any of these people- ali.
103. strange that everyone has 2 kids. 
104. jaycob said  courtney and ben are wearing the wedding rings already. nice editing. 
105. sister is working that ombre look... 
106. her parents are so "active retirement community" scottsdale. 
107. ew. a giant pic of herself in the corner. 
108. sis has a cute body. why that boxy, unflattering shift?
109. what young people is court's dad counseling?!
110. what is falling down? rain?
111. why are mom & daughter both speaking in baby voices?
112. i feel "deserving." gross. 
113. the baby voices are really creeping me out. 
114. she's fake- even with her mother- dad. 
115. why are mom and dad the only ones with food?
116. obviously this happened before- court has a full beat of makeup & they're eating lunch...
117. i'm guessing they just decided to keep this crazy in the teasers and save it until the end. 
118. oooh! did i mention im a model?! #photoshoot
119. creepytown with the wedding. psycho. 
120. this is getting more and more uncomfortable. 
121. any normal guy would be so freaked out by this. 
122. brad womack would have had to call his therapist - ali. 
123. i like that she brought her pre written vows to pretend to re write it. 
124. ben didn't give me a fear factor challenge so i planned a wedding- court.
125. she is NONE of these things. 
126. p-whipped. 
127. and now we're rhyming? eek. 
128. does she need to go to the bathroom? why is she prancing around?
129. "bing!" 
130. whyyyyyyyyy???
131. who is this? creepy uncle peter officiating our fake wedding?
132. ben is such a tool. 
133. "almost married?!" wow.
134. love the frosty reminiscent lens. 
135. we don't need a re-cap. we JUST saw this. 
136. was nikki's brother a mute?
137. we never really saw or heard from him. 
138. sorry guys, i just got so bored, i flipped over to pinterest. 
139. who cares, ben. 
140. sweet typewriter  tie tack, b. 
141. i think nikki is going, despite the fun date. 
142. woah! woof! kacie! what are you wearing! a bra-less muumuu?!
143. nikki looks largo compared to those little tiny birds but her hair looks great. 
144. horrible shoes on court.
145. well, i love lindzi because she's predictable. always a frosty heavily lined eye & dead person lips. 
146. "i do".... subtle, court. subtle.
147. i wish i could be a fly on the wall of any of their houses when they're watching this episode tonight. fake wedding. 
148. dad thinks kacie is going. 
149. awkward soothe-yourself sway out of nikki. 
150. woaaaaah!!!!!!!!!! 
151. dad was right!
152. KACIE's the next bachelorette- jaycob. 
153. woah. that was surprising. 
154. why did courtney do that awkward hangback?!
155. i'm really surprised. i thought she'd get to final 2. 
156. the dad ruined it for her. 
157. which is sad. he was just being sensible but no fun. 
158. there's a way to stand for something and still be a good time. 
159. wow. he's an idiot. 
160. well, kace. at least your nail polish is pretty. 
161. oooooh ! just stop talking. stop!! save yourself!
162. no! she's yelling!
163. stop. 
164. woah! her bible belt parents are going to be thrilled about those f-bombs. 
165. why is courtney wearing socks?- ali
166. courtney is worried she won't be able to bikini it up in snow.... i'm sure she'll find a way. 
167. magestic and magical.... same root. 
168. please tell me the big bomb is that courtney tells him she's pregnant with his salty baby. 
169. wait, what??? emily is on next monday??? i can't wait for that. i love her. 
170. stop acting demure about the skinny dipping... everyone will watch that soon enough. 
171. she does a weird finger push of the hair out of the face....

ok. i'm surprised. totally surprised. 

what are you thinking?

hope & the heart

in the last 2 weeks, i've received 4 emails from blends with broken hearts.
and while i''ll write each of them a response, some of the thoughts i'm having may apply to more than just my brave gals who reached out.
so to those of you who may find comfort in someone knowing your pain, here's what i've been thinking....

i think i'm writing this because  i may need to reference this in another 15 minutes.
anxiety comes at the strangest times and derails me from what i know to be true.
stupid anxiety.

i rarely (if ever) write about what/who/how my future husband (even that word seems so intense) will be. if anyone knew my former boyfriends, they'd realize that my mercurial gemini nature also applies to my preference in men.
but i have loved and been loved by some pretty remarkable men.
i have felt certain and sure about one and when that relationship ended (due to circumstances bigger than him or me), i couldn't understand the cruelty. i felt destined never to be happy or settled or sure again.

if it  was "right," why isn't it always "right?' and why can't it be...
i struggled with that in my prayers for months. it was devastating.

i mourned for months (some of you were fed up with my moping and expressed it in your comments... sorry... i had to go thru that) and then i happily poured myself into another relationship which just ended shy of a year. i worked hard and loved hard in that relationship but it takes two, doesn't it. another devastation.

breakups are hard. circumstantial depression runs deep and the pain can be overwhelming.
as the oldest of 5 girls, i've seen a lot of breakups in my family alone... and with my friends, i've become an expert in breakup advice. some of the relationships that have ended are clearly for the best- but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.
in those cases, i've found that the absence of hope is really what you're mourning- not necessarily the man. when hope is lost, the world feels bleak and despair overwhelms.

i recently had a doctor (totally inappropriate) ask,
"so have you given any thought to maybe giving this [i'm assuming my career?]
all up for something more meaningful?"
wow.
after stifling the urge to slap her and scream out, "NO, I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT! THANKS FOR THAT LIGHTBULB! ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN PUSHING AMAZING RELATIONSHIPS AWAY IN ORDER TO PRANCE AROUND ON STAGE! YOU CHANGED MY WORLD!!!" i simply said, "i haven't been in the right relationship for marriage and children to be a possibility yet."


to be clear, i've never been on a "husband hunt." to me, success is not in HAVING a husband. rather, success is loving and caring and sharing with a partner who reciprocates.
it's funny, in nyc, people are more interested in what you DO and who you ARE.
what i'm finding in utah, is that people are more interested in whether or not i'm married or have children. all good things- and aspets of life that i desire- but not the benchmark for happiness and certainly not the benchmark for success.


remember, just because someone has a career, it does not mean they do not wish for a family.
but in the meantime, i refuse to feel like my life is less meaningful because i'm not currently coupled.

i keep re-reading elder hale's october conference talk, "waiting upon the Lord: Thy will be done."
read it.
it's his finest. 
i could do a whole 5 posts dissecting it. 
what struck me the most : 


"In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust."


"waiting upon the Lord means to "stand fast" and "press forward" in faith, "having a perfect brightness of hope." 

hope. 

there it is again. 

i'm not waiting. i'm continuing to love my life, cherish my relationships, and  create moments of fun and spontaneity. 

and since i don't exactly have the knowledge, i'm going to go ahead with the hope (and when i don't have the hope, i'm going to pray for that) that the right man for me is taking his sweet time becoming more awesome. because, you see, i don't think my loving Heavenly Father would allow me to feel peace about marrying someone only never to feel that same way again. it doesn't work that way. i think i had that feeling to be a benchmark for what is good and what is right and what to strive for so i don't date any more riff-raff (heaven knows i've done enough of that- i've had some real doozies recently). it happened once. it will happen again. 

i may or may not know him now,  but i do know this; 

he's going to be remarkable. 

i will be ready. 

so to you lovies with broken and hopeless hearts. i'm adding you to my prayers. i'm praying that your hearts will be hopeful and joyful and you will savor this time alone becoming the brightest you. 

because he's coming.


he's worth the wait and he's lucky to have you. 


image found here 

shabby apple { giveaway } winner

and that's why i love shabby apple. 

it was really fun for me to read all of your choices- so many 

different preferences and so many great dresses!

congrats to 

please email me @ MormonInManhattan@gmail.com
and i'll shoot over your $90 gift certificate!
thanks, shabby apple!

image source unknown

a valentine shabby apple { giveaway }

my darlings!!!
as my valentine to you,
i arranged for shabby apple to gift a $90 gift certificate
to use on any item on the shabby apple site!

see, we all have different bodies and different tastes and
 i just didn't feel up to picking ONE dress for all of your gorgeous bodies.

so use your valentine wisdom,
visit shabby apple
and tell me which dress you'd choose with your $90!!!

the winner will be announced next monday!

i'd go with ooh la la.

and you?

let's be valentines!

hope you have  a wonderful valentines day!

photo anonymous via shavs pinterest.
oooh.... i'm on pinterest now.... (time suck)
wanna follow?
find me { here }

{ bachelor ben } episode 7 - the dr checks out.

my family has bachelor fever. you should see mom's HILARIOUS courtney impersonation...

if you see her around, definitely ask her to do her poses. 

last week was such an epic bore they had to spice it up and send casey home.. let's hope this week is more exciting. 

1. woof! ben in a tank top!
2. woof! ben in a sunburn matching t shirt.
3. where'd you get that tank top? gap maternity? - adam
4. these bachelor travel days have to be hilarious and drunk....
5. i like national tour travel days only better cause no one eats and just drinks. 
6. gorgeous. yes, belize!
7. kacie is adorable. 
8. 4 other girls and a shark! yes, dr. yes!
9. lindzi! enough with the frosty!
10. this whole squinting into the sun thing is really showing me who needs botox the most..
11. nikki just looks frumpty dumpty... she could flatter that body- no white skinnies on tv or sports bra uniboobs. 
12. why is she crying?! 
13. maybe you're realizing .... you're severely unbalanced?
14. but the neon bikini is hot. 
15. he looks like a fat woman in that tank situation. 
16. cute dress on lindzi. 
17. oop another copter. 
18. even emily is calling him a cheesecake.... woof. 
19. wouldn't it be great if someone fell out of the copter?!
20. i love when the bachelors instruct the dummies on things they were just briefed on....(i realize. ending this in a preposition... we'll hold the grammar on the bach run downs.)
21. are we going to hear more "taking the plunge" metaphors?
22. lifeguard ali informs me that that height is not that great. because they'd have to wear vests or they'd break necks...
23. adam says it's 18 feet. 
24. smokey eye is not a good look for the beach, gurl.
25. overcoming that fear?! heard that 3x before. 
26. would someone please give that girl a speech therapist?! she's killing me. 
27. keep your legs together, lindzzzz.
28. why the internal fight?~ he's not a polygamist!
29. or a catch...- nicole.
30. i like that peach on her. 
31. woooooah... everything about that makeup is bad... 
32. keep you eyes open! she's wasted!
33.  she's really naturally beautiful she should really cut back on the makeup.
34. how is cheryl teigs even still here?!
35. model wants to kill herself ?
36. good fake tears, court! 
37. the kleenex is tots effective. 
38. ben looks bored with lindz.
39. nic thinks he's doing one on ones with people he's not sure about. 
40. there we go. there's a leg cross... away from him. bad body language. 
41. "once upon a time" is DR like??? 
42. what kind of doctors are you going to?
43. are we really re watching this in a fliter?
44. OOOp! that writing is NOT the 14 yr old girl writing that's on the date love notes...- adam.
45. must be harrison. 
46. what have they been thru?! jumping out of a helicopter was so traumatic. 
47. sweet boob & back bra shot.
48. i love the villan music whenever courtney comes on. 
49. gorgeous sunsets! i want to go to belize!
50. cute little dress, emily. 
51. thanks for that up the butt shot of ben. needed that like a rash.
52. sweet gay boy deep V.
53. did he put some frizz-ease in? is he reading my recipe for curly girls? he looks less frizzy on this date. 
54. ben sweating.... no thanks. 
55. she has the cutest little body. 
56. are they putting a bandana over her mic pack? or is that part of the dress?
57. oooh a lobster hunt? now THAT's unexpected!! 
58. sure! spontaneous!
59. cute kini. are her boobs fake? it's nearly impossible to keep up a mono kini with a rack that big. 
60. i don't believe that he caught that for one minute! -dad.
61. i'm dying over these sunsets. 
62. emily apologized, you whore! let it go! 
63. ugh. i can NOT tolerate people like courtney... 
64. oh now she's so strong. 
65. she'll go skinny dipping and throw herself at you but won't take you home to meet your family?! she has messed up standards- adam.
66. she won't accept a rose if she doesn't get a one on one?! she's a manipulative deludinoid. 
67. emily's wavy hair looks fantastic. 
68. hate that dress. 
69. actually... i like that dress now. 
70. love a halter like that. 
71. i like this girl. i hope she has the sense not to deal with him. 
72. oh yeah courtney! none of the other girls want a one on one...
73. court: i don't know if i want to introduce him to my folks...
74. well you introduced him to herpes- adam.
75. these girls faces are killing me. 
76. just eye rolls. 
77. i wish one of them would just lash out at her. 
78. snap?!?! she's gross. 
79. courtney is such good tv. 
80. "courtney and I's." he's so smart. 
81. she's a model!
82. LAMANAI- you mormons thinking the same thing i am?
83. why did court just pull up her shirt to expose her stomach. 
84. she's bored to tears with him. this is just a game. 
85. yikes. her legs aren't so fab. 
86. emily's body is 10x better. 
87. how is no one else near the temple? they shooting this at 6 am?
88. "unload a bunch of feelings" i'll bet that won't scare dudes away. i'm totally going to use that. 
89. she's just rambling and unloading.... and manipulating. 
90. i love that all the other girls are backing up emily now....
91. i really really like emily. 
92. nikki is cute and sweet when she's not wasted. 
93. hey acne!
94. oh ben is SO whipped!
95. wait, courtney HAS a family? surely no father.....
96. harder for me than for some of the girls?! she's a nutbag. 
97. love the posturing. she's a bad model.
98. "weird?" she's not weird. she's a sociopath. 
99. sure wish i had some sunglasses- mom. 
100. these cellulite upshots are not kind. 
101. ooooh a STEP metaphor! did she read this on a cue card?
102. you know the last thing they want is wine.... somebody give those fried eggs a gatorade.
103. wonder how long they had to stand there for that copter shot. 
104. gorgeous. i want to go to there. 
105. "oh my DAD?!" using the name of your dad in vain?!
106. that bright is good and nadal'ish on him. 
107. this girl is GOOD!-nicole.
108. she'a master manipulator.
109. well played, court. it's a dangle game! 
110. i am SO bored by this manipulation discussion.....
111. yeah... i'm sure no one has EVER said they've had clarity talking to you....
112. the producers are LOVING her. 
113. pot... meet kettle.....
114. "guy friends" cue furrowed brow on ben.
115. is he really buying this bs?
116. did he just zone out? look at his glassy eyes. 
117. he's abducting them? creeper.
118. yeah they'll freak out. i hope someone pulls a taser on them.  
119. oooh what a surprise! i went to sleep with earrings and makeup on! 
120. is kacie sleeping with her blankie?
121. nikki looks great without makeup. 
122. all the men in the room were grossed out by the shaving.... 
123. come ON!
124. the sunrise is exquisite!
125. the biggest challenge of this date was who looks best without makeup. 
126. at least those girls are fun and like each other. 
127. i like cheryl teig's little striped dress.
128. champers at 5 am?! vomit. 
129. teigs is going to vomit!
130. "diving" in head first....... vim.
131. honestly, i don't know teigs real name....
132. he has tips? oh, cause he's a shark tamer? or he's done this before?
133. they're just sand sharks!- adam. 
134. dad says they're used to humans and they don't attack. 
135. i still wouldn't do it. 
136. ben looks more scared....
137. i would NOT like this challenge. 
138. kacie needs to learn how to play the game: act like a scared ninny  and you get all the attention!
139.  cheryl teigs looks a lot better au naturale. 
140. all of the girls do..
141. at this point, they all look fried and tired and over this. 
142. that top on teigs is bad and maternal and strange. bad print, bad cut.
143. i think nikki is going home on this....
144. don't baby talk when you're talking about your family, weirdo! 
145. aaand again... sun + booze = trashed nikki.
146. kacie looks WASTED!
147. my hair would look scarier than hers.... 
148. too bad ben can't grow a beard like a REAL man- adam. 
149. kacie can barely keep her eyes open. 
150. is he really presenting this in front of all of them. 
151. did he wax his chest?! look at those ingrowns!
152. good. kacie for the rose. 
153. is she really creeping on this?!
154. i feel bad for nikki...she seems to be gaining a bit of weight thru this season...
155. ooooooh! good! the courtney stuff comes out!
156. that was tactful, nikki. 
157. woof! bird flu earrings. 
158. pretty color on courtney. 
159. nikki.... get rid of the dumpy uniboob dresses. 
160. lindz's skin color is clashing with that dress.
161. what?! orange and purple doesn't go together?!- adam.
162.  i think nikki and cheryl teigs are going home.....
163. courtney is so obnoxious. 
164. kacie should have let her hair go curly... she needs my curl mixture. 
165. it looks fab in the confessional and WILTED at the cocktail party. 
166. cheryl is falling apart already?!
167. lindzi is constantly speaking in a vocal fry (you singers get that?)
168. kace didn't need good hair tonight... she already has a rose. 
169. ben is talking to courtney like a pediatrician- nicole. 
170. ahahah! i love nikki - you know, there MAY or MAY NOT  have been some talk about courtney...
171. Teigs: so do you think i have enough time to smoke a pack before they come back- adam. 
172. woah! nikki! that's a surprise!
173. ok.. now lindzi is going home...
174. what?! no!
175. emily is getting the axe. 
176. no way! she must think court threw her under the bus. 
177. cute dress on emily. 
178. welp... this just confirms that ben is the STUPIDEST bachelor in bachelor history. 
179. emily is SO lucky. she'll find a hot dr and be so glad she's out of this shitshow. 
180. did he just hot whisper "take care" in her ear?! gross. 
181. did ben not see courtney say "see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" ???
182. he had nothing to say to emily? he's a pig. 
183. courtney has a family?! i just assumed she didn't have a family!- jaycob
184. you guys, black widow spiders aren't afraid of tarantellas. 

oh these hometowns look RIPE!

are you kids surprised? 

i am. i liked emily and their date looked fun. she's too smart for him. 

candy hearts

sussy did this fantastic valentine video 

with the brilliant josh aker.

he just released the FULL song on her blog. 

it's my new favorite song- i can't get it out of my head- 

you should buy it...

maybe josh and i will collaborate on the next one. 

i'm SO in love with this sweet little tune. 

buy the full song { here }

it's only 99 cents....

what a sweet (and cheap) pressie for your  bff or valentine!

mom's sugar cookies.

 sussy posted our mom's sugar cookie recipe.
i can't wait to make it tomorrow.
i love sugar cookie holidays.

the color run.

some of my very favorite people on the planet started the coolest 5k for charity. 

the color run.

i've always loved attending the hari krishna's festival of color- 

it's a gleeful and joyful color fight and to put it together with a 5k for charity?! very cool. 

i borderline DETEST running, but you KNOW i'm going to do this when it comes to NYC. 

find locations { here } 

at every mile mark, you run thru a cloud of color

then party in color at the very end. 

watch this promo. it makes me SO happy. 

you may want to hurry and sign up- they're selling out incredibly fast. 

epiphany chocolates giveaway { winners }

thank you, epiphany chocolates!
hope you have a very sweet valentines day!

winners!
email MormonInManhattan@gmail.com
with your shipping info.
xo n

model remix

thanks, melissa, for the video.. this is hilarious.

a new curly cocktail

i'm often asked for my curly methods. 

curly hair is hard. 

it changes based everything from humidity to lunar cycles, i swear!

when i was in vegas, i had to find a new treatment program because the air was so dry.. i'm now obsessed and these products have now been nyc approved. 

ok, so my hair not like most curlies- 

they tend to be more dry and coarse. 

my hair is fine, thin & soft (which is why it's easy to straighten)

thus making MOST curly products too heavy...

there are all sorts of gadgets, brushes, etc.... but i think it's a waste of money. 

but here's the elixer i'm using now: 

ouidad curl quencher shampoo

ouidad moisture lock leave in conditioner

i hadn't before thought that i needed a specific curly shampoo/conditioner but kristan serafino gave these to me to see if they work and i'm in love.  these make a huge difference in the frizz factor....

just leave the conditioner in.
then add :

devaCurl anGel 

while it's wet.

i then turn my head over and spray with hairspray-  not something too hard holding.

i blast my bangs with a blowdryer and roller brush for about 5 seconds just to clump the front curls then air dry......

if i'm in a huge rush, i may use a diffuser, though it tends to frizz me.

if a few curls don't get with the program and i'm feeling ambitions, i may curl a few small pieces with a tiny curling iron but the pic above is just air dried.

i think a big part of the success of your curls is a good healthy cut.
i have a rounded- layer cut.
it's slightly longer in front than in the back.

hope this works for you, curlies.

we coil haired girls need to stick together!

{ giveaway } epiphany chocolates

will you be my valentine?

 epiphany chocolates sent the loveliest box of chocolates to me for valentines day.
i died over their mad libs packaging,  red sharpie
and their delicious homemade chocolates!

 the sweethearts at epiphany have offered
a box of their  bitten and smitten chocolates to
3 lucky mim readers!

simply leave a comment telling me your favorite sweet valentine treat for a chance to win.
winners will be picked at random on friday!
xoxo mim

kosher pork

this weekend, i was on a date at a (more) sophisticated restaurant in provo, utah.
i was in a mood so when my date asked how the pork was prepared, i threw in a
question (mostly to make my date laugh):

me: is the pork kosher?
waiter: i think so. yes. well, let me double check with the chef.

bless his heart, i tried to grab him before he ran to the kitchen, but he was a quick escape artist.
thankfully, the chef thought it was hilarious.

how would he know?
there aren't many synagogues in provo.

{ bachelor ben - episode 6 } panama

thanks to dejah for the photo link

today, we have the hill family and friends mallory & amanda to add to the peanut group. 

bam. 

you'll notice that i spell the casey/kacies a million different ways and my spelling/ grammar is atrocious. just writing non-stop.

1. ben is so well traveled. so sweet of him to spring for all these hos to travel!
2. did ben go to timpview hs? whats with the jacked up jeep?
3. ben is now doing dorothy hamill hair. 
4. nikki- burn that dress. 
5. blakely is a professional mud wrestler. obviously. 
6. kasey's bumpit is uneven in that confessional. 
7. anybody know the heli count? have we lost track? 
8. he is the most awkward person ever. 
9. this should be a mix of survivor! they should have to eat bugs- mallory
10. i have kasey's bracelet.
11. where's craft services?
12. her legs are amazing. 
13. there's one conveniently poised cocoanut. 
14. this is giving me "the cay" feelings. 
15. you're right, kase. watching ben crack nuts is so hot! 
16. specially when he can't get them open. 
17. why are they acting like this is the ultimate survival task. 
18. that fish was dead. 
19. you know a gopher had to open that coconut. 
20. why is she always wearing fake wedding rings?
21. she's totally fried. 
22. why is he so appreciative that she's going with the flow?!
23. like all the other girls haven't just done anything they want?!
24. this is a frizz  fest. 
25. and shine show. 
26. kasey's eyes can't focus... trashed. 
27. awkward sweaty small talk. 
28. cheryl teigs is going home. 
29. blakely has turned into a sugar sap. 
30. wasn't she both the villian and the lesbian at the beginning?!
31. uh. oh. true confessions. 
32. a baby?? everyone's had one & gave it up in high school!- mallory
33. eating disorder?! everyone's had one.... 
34. the pressures of a baton twirler- amanda.
35. as if a one year eating disorder is tv/news/date worthy? 
36. they are digging deep to find a sob story for poor kase.
37. look how much sweat he has in his hair- dad
38. find your spotlight and kiss in it. 
39. or as syd would say, 'screw the blocking and find your light!'
40. look out for me!!! ooooooh muddy waters!!
41. put your legs (more) together, ben. 
42. courtney has the splotchiest skin tone ever.
43. you guys! the only requirement for a mans-man is to drive a boat. 
44. casey- i have no idea what we're doing!... seriously?
45. this is like a strange disney jungle tour. 
46. jus stumbled upon the village? none of that was planned?! no way!!!
47. there's a lot of padded bikini action up in that tree house. 
48. ben's already seen your wares, court. 
49. those poor little boys!
50. mASSIVE EEEEEEWWWWW! from this crowd in this room over ben in the loin cloth. 
51. eeewwwww!!! again!!! over that courtney comment! 
52. um, how many ways can you appreciate that, ben?
53. eeeeeeeewwwww! white thighs! i'm so grossed out. 
54. she's absolutely nuts. 
55. emily needs to stop with the courtney talk... at least on camera. 
56. why is she exposing herself to small children?
57. oh, please don't jiggle, ben. 
58. gross. i can 'see his man thong. 
59. this is the most asexual look i have ever seen. 
60. his skirt is shorter than theirs- nina.
61. emily is nailing her makeup. 
62. lindzi... still not nailing anything.... bad color on face, eyes, lips, hair....
63. her voice is like a cheese grater on my ear drums. 
64. he doesn't care about anybody now that he's sexed courtney. 
65. oooh two card twist!
66. what's ben gonna choose? the tats or the piercings?!- nina.
67. "courtney and i's." ...... he's such a dummy. 
68. "i appreciate the fact that you..........." take off your top? are a wanton whore? have no morals? are a sociopath?
69. who is that girl asking about the kissing?
70. oh, mallory informs me that she's the only one with the real sob story.. trailer park. 
71. watcher in the woods, courtney!
72. it's jaws music- mom. 
73. "they're making it easy on me!" you're easy , court. 
74. trailerpark is talking a million miles an hour. 
75. he's trying so hard to focus on jamie. 
76. she's just pacing in the pool. 
77. sharks in the waters- nina. 
78. poor jamie. 
79. sad, fully clothed jamie.- mallory.
80. did she just compare brad pitt to courtney?! that was a nice compliment- mallory. 
81. ooook... ben just did an interview for a ut local news station and he was actually semi interesting.... except that he's wearing fingerless gloves.... is he in RENT?
82. nono nonononono emily! shut up!
83. wwwoah! wait. i thought she was going to deal with courtney. 
84. ook. you trickster, emily! 
85. why are you bringing this up if you don't want to talk about it, ben?
86. woah! that was really big of emily to apologize. 
87. courtney looks like a fish and she's absolutely a horrible person. scum of the earth. 
88. she's apologizing, you whore!
89. i'm just waiting for court to throw a switchblade on her. 
90. i wish the other girls could stand up for her!
91. baaaaaahhh! this just in from NADIA's husband aaron (via text): there should be a no nakedness rule because once the d*%$ starts to pick it makes for bad television. word. 
92. oooh you DO wear lipstick? nice. 
93. now courtney is acting like she's the victim and she's being taken for granted?
94. maybe it's because you gave it up?
95. {scripted thunder}- mallory.
96. i have no emotional reaction to her crying and i'm sort of happy about it.- mallory
97. where was she waiting for him to show up?
98. that casey wail just made us all howl with laughter.
99. bad prints all around. 
100. blakely is acting like a totally different person now...
101. he looks good in the blue plaid....
102. once i get past the soccer mom bob. 
103. how many onesies does blakely own?!
104. and strapless bras....
105. blakely is just gonna do a few stripper moves. 
106. what are these bad bat mitzvah dresses from the 8o's?!
107. nina is convinced rachel has had a nose job. it's pretty perfect. 
108. uhhhh.... nothing about that "samba" is sensual. 
109. another one shoulder dress.... they're becoming more popular than helicopters.
110. well... she is a better dancer....
111. and ben just stood there frozen- hiding his excitement. 
112. oooh hair toss!
113. stop saying sweaty and sexual, ben. 
114. you are only one of those things. 
115. ali is pissed that the instructor keeps passing over the "4."
116. blakely's flat ironed hair is looking nasty. ladies, stick with a little curl- your hair will always look more full. 
117. sour grapes. 
118. there's another funny casey wail. 
119. bahahahaha
120. blakely's shirt dress is hot... but in the rain? 
121. and in those dark panties?????
122. yowzah!
123. he's always talking to them like he's their doctor. 
124. stuffy. 
125. 2 on 1's are so awkward. 
126. he takes her away before she can eat anything?
127. noooo! just booze her up. 
128. nothing like police lights flashing on your face. is that the fashion police coming to swap out blakely's panties for nude?
129. woah woah woah woah.. did she bring her journal?
130. why is she crying?
131. those veneers are so intense. 
132. she's acting so desperate. get it together, woman!!!
133. what?! she made him a scrapbook?
134. woah! this is creeeeeeptown! this is WAAAAAY too intense. 
135. and there it is. she just wants to win. she's not interested in him.
136. it's cool, girl. i'm not either. he's such a dud. 
137. oh my goodness! can't say i'm surprised. 
138. that was creepy. 
139. keep walking, girl! 
140. don't turn around. 
141. this explanation is not helping anything. 
142. LOOK! no tears!-mallory
143. PULL A SHAVS AND POUR DIET COKE IN YOUR EYE!- mallory
144. she cried more losing the baseball game. 
145. why the feral cat shot!!!?! KATE LOPREST, did you see that?!
146. nice fake cry and total claw cling. 
147. let go of him!!! get OFF!- dad.
148. her makeup is totally fine- no tears!
149. chris harrison is always there to lend his bosom [to a woman in tears]-jaycob.
150. kacie! cute little braided updo . 
151. lindzi!!! put some chapstick on or SOMETHING!
152. casey s is gorgeous.
153. it's like getting called to the principal's office! dang! i'm nervous- jaycob. 
154. cute onesie outfit, case!
155. raising your over plucked eyebrows, emily??
156. chris just went down country with that "y'alls."
157. day AND night- mallory.
158. the girls are always doing a stealthy creep to watch. 
159. casey! we've all been there! 
160. ahahaha! i love the chorus line in the back till the producer told them to get out of the shot!
161. as if all of those girls don't have the same story?
162. as if ALL of us don't have feelings for someone in our past?
163. he doesn't care enough about her to keep her around anyway....
164. she's a supermodel.
165. if they're so concerned about ben and his feelings, why don't they tip her off about courtney- amanda.
166. oh hey, camera crew! 
167. no! chris! i wasn't expecting you! 
168. "tha both of ya!"
169. is she wearing colored contacts?
170. do you think she wanted to go home and they just made this up?- amanda
171. she's not opening up because she doesn't know very many words. 
172. and chris- just sitting there creeping on the whole experience. 
173. should we do a drinking game every time she says "like?"
174. he doesn't even care. 
175. nice tent hug. 
176. i'm so mad that's all that was!- amanda
177. i wanted someone to die!- mallory
178. oooop! i saw that lean/railing ponder shot. 
179. voice is getting higher and higher in this cry....
180. chris has a death grip on her neck. 
181. ponder shot #2!
182. as if he cares...
183. was she allowed to put shoes on?
184. oh case.... i get it. i'm still love someone who doesn't love me..... i'm with you, girl. 
185. but being alone with your sad is better than ben and his bad hair. 
186. i'll bet trailer girl gets to stick around now that all these extras are getting sent home. 
187.  why are we killing time with elevator shots?! can't we just have more courtney soundbites?!
188. oh! that HAIR!
189. still!!! more one shoulders?!
190. is kacie in herve leger?! go girl!
191. and the award for most dated dress goes to nikki!!! 
192. you know, ben showed a real lack of character there- dad. 
193. why? you don't think she should have sent her home?
194. no! he should have sent her home! but he should have been more compassionate.- dad.
195. nikki looks like a puppet- dad.
196. nikki's voice is killing me. 
197. oh man! courtney's sound bites are awesome!
198. jamie is going home. 
199. "i need to prove to him that i'm sexy, that i'm a woman, and that i'd be able to please him!".... WHAT ERA IS SHE FROM?! gloria steinham would die. 
200. shocked?! woah! is she going to disrobe?
201. she thinks about what she wants to do with him. 
202. ooooh she is sooo uncomfortable dirty talking. 
203. oh no. dress is too short for that move!!! yikes! 
204. ben just giggles uncomfortably any time she's turned on. 
205. i'm just waiting for courtney to creep in. 
206. fancy?! 
207. here's your one chance fancy, don't let me DOWN!!! well...she IS in her red dress...
208. yeah.. you SHOULD be embarrassed. yikes. 
209. that dismount is so uncomfortable. 
210. she envisioned something different...
211. that was 50?! wooooah she is SO uncomfortable. 
212. and now we're deconstructing the kiss. 
213. this is her dirty talk?
214. her dirty talk is an instruction manual- mallory. 
215. giggles mcben. 
216. those heels are so ugly. 
217. this is so awkward. 
218. ahahaha! just send her home. 
219. she just bought a house in crazy town. 
220. that girl is going home. 
221. i feel bad for her cause you know she's never put herself out there and you KNOW she never will again- mallory.
222. no.. kacie isn't in leger but she looks hot. 
223. "on the wings of LOOOOVE"- ben's wing hair. 
224. dora the kiss explorer is totally going home. 
225. why does courtney act slighted when she doesn't get the first ceremony rose?
226. oooh feigned surprise! how unique!
227. don't flat iron your hair in the tropics, dummies... frizzzzzzzzz.
228. trailer girl is pretty... she just couldn't be more awkie. 
229. yup. called it. 
230. bye, dora!!! 
231. i feel really bad for her... that was so uncomfortable. 
232. i feel bad for her future dates-nicole.
233. at least they know what they're in for- awkward instructional manuals.- mallory.
234. it was a valiant fight, dora... adios. 
235. aaawe! courtney didn't get her champers up high enough! 
236. i'll bet cheryl teigs and nikki are next to go.
237. another rap?! noooo.....always too long.  

ok. i think he picks courtney then films after the final rose then watches the show and ends it with her....

and the final song will be "every rose has it's thorn."

thoughts?

ck

you've all heard about my dear, CK
and her amazing brand, shabby apple.
watch this.
she's remarkable.

go giants!

i love superbowl sunday.
can't wait to get my queso on!
do you do you have any fun superbowl traditions?

*i'm cheering giants because my 49'ers fell apart...

i saw

lala star in the brand new (revamped book + additional R&H music) invited Cinderella reading which is hopefully coming to broadway very soon because it's hilarious and fresh and she's so genius in it (as are Vicotoria Clark & Harriet Harris).
i didn't realize that Cindie has never been on broadway before!
my mom and i used to sing "impossible" together and my very first audition song was "in my own little corner." that music is so glorious.
ten minutes ago? i die.

Zach in Wit with Cynthia Nixon. 
woah! i'd never seen it before (i generally shy away from cancer plays...) and i was incredibly moved by it.
Cynthia was brilliant and has the most perfectly shaped shaved head.
i always say i could never play anyone with cancer because my head is so terribly misshapen.

Z-man & me. 

he's a wonderful actor and a great great man. 

 morgie & lindsey star in Godspell which i hadn't seen before. my friend, danny, directed such a beautiful show and i was blown away by the new vocal arrangements- the voices are SICK.
also so fun to see Hunter... ironically, i sat by another teen hearthrob, corbin bleu (who is my hair twin) with jim caruso who apparently knows every person on the planet. i won't be surprised when i see him at porgy & bess with the bieber.

godspell stays with you.... just like the confetti found much later in my bra.....

it's so fun to see so many of my great friends being so famous and fabulous.