on one of my epically bad dates (so bad, i'm going to stretch it into a few posts)
i spent an entire dinner asking questions about my date and fueling our conversation.
not that it needed much to get him going- good thing his FAVORITE topic was himself & how wonderful he is....... blah blah blah me me me...... he'd lead me into topics just so he could tell me how interesting/funny/marriageable he is..
he never ONCE asked a question other than, "what would you like to eat?"
listen, i'm not the most interesting person on earth but i DO have a few talking points....
nearing the end of my confinement with this person, he said,
"you know, i don't really like to ask many questions on a first date."
at this point, i was SO over it.... it'd been torturous.... so i replied,
"yeah, i noticed."
him: well, i just don't want to fire off questions.
me: well, there's a way in natural conversation to pick up on cues the other person drops to keep a conversation spinning and in the process, you can learn about them.
after a furrowed brow and stumped look on his face (you know he was digging deep to think of a question to ask), he dropped this zinger:
"so what do you do in nyc when you're not eating?" (i guess we'd talked a lot about food -safe topic-)
at this point, i'm OVER it. OVER IT! he's not getting any info about me now.
me: i generally think about my next meal. yep. i just spend time planning it in my mind.
hell.
10 comments:
Alternatively, I once went out with a guy who fueled the entire conversation, basically talking AT me for a couple hour, a total loose canon. Topics included my views on race (I don't really have any), LDS/non-LDS dating differences, and the fact that I don't really like to cook and how that would affect future family dynamics. First and last date.
At least I didn't have to do much work I guess.
the worst.
i once went on a date where they guy just kept talking about himself the whole time that i decided to see how long i could go without saying anything before he noticed.....he didnt.....
I don't want to sound like a man hater, because I'm not, but I have to admit, lately it seems like guys really struggle with knowing how to ask questions. You can ask ask ask away about them and they will tell you all about themselves, yet never turn it back around. If they're not interested in getting to know you why are they wasting their time on a date???? Nothing says, "This guys is not interested in me" more than when they only talk about themselves.
So I'm a mom of all boys. I have started taking each of them on dates with just mom. After reading this I'm going to take the time during our dates to teach them how to have a normal conversation - a give and take of questions....you wouldn't think this is something that has to be taught, but I'm not taking any chances. I won't have my sons be THAT guy!
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god, I feel so bad for you :( It sounds like he was really awful.
Been there. It's exhausting single-handedly carrying the conversation ON YOUR BACK.
Oooh, you go, Sherrie! That is a GREAT idea!
This gives me zero hope for my future dating life. I'm 21 and this is what I deal with now lol
WHAT the hell?
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