{ the bachelorette- emily } bye bye alessandro & shelley

1. you guys, kathy serves me breakfast in bed every day when i'm home, as well....
2. riiiiieght. 
3. i don't know why, but chris rubs me the wrong way... 
4. like it sounds like someone is squeezing his vocal chords ...
5. and he's always working a henley which feels a bit gay when worn CONSTANTLY.
6. i just think maybe he's a superhero actor reject?
7. wtf is she wearing?
8. bra, lace, motorcycle shirt? that's a lotta layers when you're working a tank top, sister.
9. yes! a climbing metaphor! never heard that in bachelor history (cue eye roll)
10. what are they climbing? just pulling up a rope?
11. she's hating that she wore riding boots for this. 
12. "i'll be there in a second." .... really? be where ? you're running a parallel course...
13. oooh i see their feet are rigged to the rope.... that looks easy. 
14. you accomplished NOTHING, you idot! abc insurance wouldn't ever allow anything REALLY dangerous... (except that golden gate challenge looked scary...) and you pansied out of a kiss! woof.
15. is she really going to flatter every one of these boys? 
16. there are a lot of "reallys" happening....
17. she's totally fishing for conversation here.....
18. he's 25?! he seems so much older. 
19. ahahaha! she's done with him now. 
20. oh that dweeb dad is killing me. tony. lots of hair product...
21. who is that dude with all the tats?
22. we need to get rid of the alessandro/jandro espanol crew...
23. oh chris's sales pitch bugs me. 
24. why don't i like him?
25. oh hell, how many private concerts can one girl have?! and in the middle of the street...
26. but i do like this song... #countrygirl
27. that dude could not be any less smooth. 
28. any idiot who asks for a kiss should be denied. always. 
29. grow a pair!
30. oooh let the riff raff in! look at all these over enthused minions freaking out!
31. i really just don't like him. 
32. or any of the men in this house... what the?
33. biggest herd of tools i've ever seen. 
34. cute shirt... not for big breasted girls...
35. ryan has total woody the woodpecker hair...
36. sean, stop making excuses for not having any game. 
37. "ya'lls detective skills".... brilliant. 
38. i think the mommy group is more terrifying than the family. 
39. i sorta love "wolf".... although, WHY is he called wolf? and why is he constantly swearing?
40. gross... dweeb dad is exploiting his poor kid. 
41. jeff-one-eff is FLUSHED!
42. no way, the egg came to field day??
43. "did you fertilize it, yourself?" amazing...
44. oooh no.. the party mc poppin & locking....
45. those moms are having their own "50 shades of Grey" moments with these men...
46. sean's eyebrows are invisible. 
47. is sean mormon? 
48. ooooh the mom's love sean. dark horse. dark horse. 
49. i'm so sick of daddy day camp every day!- ali
50. this isn't the bachelorette! it's daddy boot camp! - ali
51. so these boys can't play with her kid, but every other child in charlotte?
52. what was that mumble exchange?
53. "i'll still love you... i just won't love ON you as much...." wow. 
54. he's gonna regret that. she'll blow it up. 
55. yup. blown up. 
56. haha. 
57. who is doug? the other dad?
58. they're so sick of pretending they like kids....
59. ryan looks like a telenovela actor. 
60. great outfit, emily. 
61. really , sean? a suit, tie & jeans? business up top/ party on the bottom?
62. let's get better lighting and a de-greaser on sean. 
63. doug's story is killing me. 
64. he calls his mom "this lady."
65. he's adorable. 
66. doug is my pick. 
67. i'm sick of that dweeb dad.
68. "i'm a race car driver and i'm used to things moving fast!" yesssssss! we just BUSTED out laughing. 
69. do you think emily's trying to swallow the vomit in her mouth while talking to dweeby dad?
70. he's a mess. 
71. isn't this like week one? 
72. maybe he's just on his period.
73. doug is a sweetheart..
74. what's this jaunty lean-to pose in his confessionals?
75. tony is 3 sheets to the wind...
76. he's so glossed over. 
77. going on the bachelorette is the ultimate sacrifice??? well.. maybe it is... his award winning performance is enough to any manhood his son thought he had..... 
78. this is beautiful! bahahahaha!
79. ok, so like even if he were to last till the end, wouldn't it only be about 6 weeks?
80. he's a basket case. 
81. she's talking to him like he's ricki's 5 yr old gay friend. 
82. please please send him home. 
83. he's not getting it.
84. still doesn't get it...
85. good girl. 
86. sooo you melted down for a reason?
87. i'm sorry, for all of you who thought that was sweet... that was self indulgent and obnoxious. 
88. aaahhhhahahah! doug's like, yeah, but i'm a man and i can keep it together...
89. ryan is always aggressively seated/walking/standing by her.
90. who chimed in with the lone "you are!" ?? hilarious.
91. what on earth is ponytail boy wearing?! 
92. chris is possibly a serial killer....
93. yeessssss! love the private plane to pigeon forge! 
94. i could not be any more jealous. 
95. it's my life's dream to go to dollywood or meet her. she's my absolute favorite. 
96. FAVORITE!
97. what time is it that this joint is closed?
98. oh, sure! isn't this so random and unscripted that they'd just happen into the theatre. 
99. look at dolly just toddle on those heels?! i'm living for this!!!!
100. you guys, don't understand. she and whitney houston are my #1.
101. she sounds flawless. 
102. i love when she speak sings. 
103. i would push him out of the way and run up and hug her. 
104. i'm dying for her bling'd out gu-I-tar.
105. i'd kill to do girl talk with dolly. 
106. i need her to be my best friend. 
107. and we could even share lip gloss. 
108. i feel like her nails are steel reinforced to be able to pick that well. 
109. i love this song. 
110. LOVE.
111. YOU GUYS, THIS IS MY DREAM DATE!!!!! DREEEEAM!
112. wonder what this other girlfriend is thinking about him talking about their breakup. 
113. really? such a busy schedule but yet you found time to "find love" on the bach?
114. she's into him. he's sweet. 
115. oh, em! you trickster!!
116. have i mentioned that i love dolly?
117. wow! she's in deep smit!
118. i'm down with doug and ari.
119. that motion   sequence made me want to vim. 
120. woooooah nelly! slow down on that perfume, sister!
121. she's gonna smell like dolly! i hear you can smell her from half a mile away. 
122. oooh ryan, you just take control, now dontcha!
123. the top of that dress just isn't working for her boobs. 
124. is he in a smoking jacket ?
125. kalon is a nut. and i hope she sends him home in those bottlecap glasses.
126. he won't let her speak. 
127. woah! what's happening here... he's derailing himself.. 
128. yeah, he's a condescending a-hole.
129. yeah, get rid of the egg and him. 
130. they're egging the bach mansion?! 
131. i love the men creeping on him. 
132. this mushroom headed sunburned freak is grossing me out. 
133. i swear i used to see him at phish concerts working a puca shell necklace and smelling of weed and hemp. 
134. indian chief NO compromise! indian chief NO speak the right words for a girl to love. indian chief NO speak english and going to really regret it when he understands what the word "compromise" means. 
135. oh boy! alessandro is NOT having a good day. 
136. what is she wearing on her feet? boots?
137. good girl... she gave him the "boot" literally. 
138. "grain merchant?" what is it with these dudes?!
139. schroom farmer, party dj, etc.... 
140. i hope she stormed off set to yell at the producers for this big group of losers. 
141. good girl, drink your feelings!
142. oh vomit, sean. if you have to tell her your friends think you'd be a great father, you are weird. 
143. and exactly the right timing for that wad of cheese to fly at her. 
144. oop. she's buying it. 
145. why are they all asking to kiss her?
146. kalon is a totaly freak. you know he's into weird things like saving toe nail clippings or saving cat hair or something...
147. who are these guys?
148. i wish she'd say something like, ... "well, i sent you home, stevie, because 1. you're a party dj (go find a sweetie at a bar mitzvah!) and 2. you have seriously unfortunate facial hair. 
149. ooooh ryan called the race car driver "dainty." that's amazing. 
150. i smell a new villian. 
151. i wondered why we didn't have more of the alesandro interview...
152. ahahaha! his cousin! 
153. he's a gypsy? is he with my romanian pack??

boooored. what are you thinking?