the bachelorette | episode 1 | another weirdo from SLC is about to disgrace us.

so we take a break from all things virtuous, lovely, and of good report to watch some of the most fascinating human social interactions.
feelings expressed here are spur of the moment, uncensored, and could be biting... i'm tired... i warn you.

ok, so to be honest, i find our dear Ashley about as interesting as her ashy mousy brown hair. she seems like a perfectly suitable and sweet girl, but that,
as we all know, does not make good tv.
it seems perfectly incomprehensible that i could sit thru an entire season of watching her bad eyebrows..... but... seeing men act like complete fools for one girl-next-door's attention could get me to watch at least for a few eps.....

1. listening to her voice over is making me cringe. like an awkward teenager reciting her "free-form journaling" in a basic english class.
   
2. single pirouette?
3. oook, there's her crotch.
4. triple p?
5. her body is gorgeous.
6. thank goodness she got bangs and hair extensions.
7. are the eyebrows better?
8. yeah, dental students drive a maserati.
   
9. nude lip does not work for everybody...
   
10. is it necessary to have 10 costume changes for ponder shots?
11. who is that horrible hateful dude?
12. roses burning?! oooh the drama!
13. bring on the men!
14. first shirtless shot! yes!
15. he's really cute, that chris.
16. noooo he didn't just do a hand-heart-shot
17. neck zit on ny guy.
18. why do you have a buzz cut? you haven't lost your hair and it's hot summer ball time.
    
19. butt chin finance guy!
    
20. sockless ames!
    
21. this dude is intense
22. is new orleans ben jewish?
23. ew... "greatest love" talk. go whitney houston!
24. wine guy= josh groban + geico caveman
25. bentley. cute...but i don't trust people who name their kids after beverage wrappings. "cozy"
26. italian butcher! i love him. straight up danny zuko meets nick cage from moonlight.
    
27. i can do without shirtless west.
28. woooah! wait a minute! did bentley say his daughter was "cozette"?! i know his ex wife. holy crap. i know her. and she's a really beautiful girl. her sister is a friend of mine.
    
29. ok, back to the sad wife story.
    
30. that's so heartbreaking. i wish people with deceased spouses wouldn't go on the bachelorette/lor... it's not right.
    
31. yes, umbrella shots!
    
32. no shirtless shot needed ....
    
33. dudes, if you don't look like womack, i'm not interested in seeing the heat you're packing.
    
34. all these sad stories are breaking my heart- just find normal girls and don't expose yourself to the world, please.
35. i love a nude sparkle, but this is not my favorite look on her pecs.... i mean boobs?
36. and that lipstick it too purpley-frosty.
    
37. i could do with a few more goldey-highlights.
    
38. could somebody please shade her cheekbones a bit more... we're looking pretty flat in this light.
    
39. oooh ! i'll bet michelle mooney knows bentley!
40. oooh there it is! she called him out already!
41. send the freak home!!!
42. gross. bentley is already a story.
    
43. i need more upper lip on ashley-- and if we're not gonna get it surgically, i'd love a makeup artist who can flatter her.
44. i'm hating this hair.. make it curlier or straighter. it looks homeless.
45. love the train on that dress.
46. solar panels guy is really cute.
    
47. ew. she has utah "t's" you're so cuuuuuuah!
48. no chemistry with-try-too-hard-pick-up-guy.
    
49. i'd have lived for a big strand of beads to get ripped off that dress and shatter all over the wet floor.
    
50. cell phone sales guy looks like josh lucas.
    
51. eeeew. mickey mouse going in for the creeper sweaty kiss?!
52. did liquor guy just pose?
53. silence.... he has nothing.... that is so awkward. poor guy is so nervous.
    
54. BIL says she laughs like gretchen from real housewives.
    
55. oooh the jewish guy speaks french!
56. sports guy in mauve. rapping? haiku? poetic? beatnik?
57. sweet gift, west.
    
58. i like how he's driving the convo and told her that he's going to go in.
    
59. oooh nicholas cage butcher! you guido! love it.
    
60. rob looks mormon.
    
61. her arms are beautiful.
    
62. yalie is like a cartoon!trust fund baby!
63. yeah... when are you going to the ballet?!
64. office supply guy needs longer pants.
    
65. no. a mask?
66. creeper.
67. nothing scares me more than masks.
    
68. serial killer!!!!!!
69. send him home!!
70. sussy: why does he even have that in his house?!
71. i am pretty impressed with the male quality control. we have some contenders, folks.
    
72. groban-caveman could use some hair help.
    
73. her hair color is looking better in this light.
    
74. ew. i hate when people try to pick up other grown people..
75. ew. and even worse when you try to tango.
76. he looks like buzz lightyear.
77. mike has yellow teeth. this will never work.
    
78. of course he's from canada!!!
    
79. ryan dimples is darling! but i'd love to fix his hedgehog hair.
80. why this photo shoot? she feels weird about it.
    
81. i like this construction boy. he can find me in nyc.
    
82. nick, is that a flavor saver? gomer.
    
83. poems are awkward. always. don't do that.
    
84. blake you should have told him you're a dentist.
    
85. oooh she's smitten with bentley already.
    
86. i love the nose wrinkle.
    
87. constantine looks like grob-caveman & one other guy.
    
88. that's the only public flossing i can accept.
    
89. she's growing on me.
    
90. i think solar panels is a contender.
    
91. i'd like to give him chapstick.
92. sussy: he shakes his head too much. he's a shaker!
93. nice blowout for the confessionals- obv shot on a diff day.
94. grob-cave looks greasy to me.
    
95. per-FACT. ashley speak for "perfect."
96. calling the mom? sorta bizarre... and smart.
    
97. she's a hoot!!
    
98. ooooh no! a dramatic out-of-tune- guitar chord?!
99. woah! into the pool? that was an expensive prop.
    
100. and there's batman...
101. and why is he standing in the up lighting?!
102. yes! a pillow barricade by the jersey boy!
103. i'd be creeped out too.
     
104. he's seriously giving me original "four seasons" jersey boy-ness.
105. how many different fur wraps does she have? are these blankets?
106. yes! love, actually signs!
107. kinda strange...could go either way.
     
108. i like this ben from new orleans.
109. "i'm "just" in sales." is that code for kiosk babysitter? he's not selling me on anything.
     
110. jersey boy is so easily creeped... and now he's creeping me out.
111. is he gonna throw up on her?
112. bentley's hair color is so bad.
     
113. oh my! he's a mess! that's bad for business...
114. please let drunk jers pounce the masked man.
     
115. "i'm a mature adult" ...... wearing a mask.
116. yes! snoring!!
117. i hope he wakes up with night terrors and hits her.
     
118. this is amazing.
     
119. eeeeewww! the organ music with the creep on the balcony!!
120. yeah... that "limb" is the wrong limb.
121. i hope he takes his mask off and has lines in his face.
     
122. she's into nyc construction skin-head.
123. what?! she wants to pick her pet name? and she wants it to be "cupcake?" bizarre.
     
124. bentley is such a provo all-star.
     
125. she's totally going to keep him for the story.
     
126. i bet the rose goes to solar panels.
     
127. yes!!!!!! i win! i win!
128. ew. bentley is a total db.
     
129. iron mask gets the first rose?!
130. connie's floss trick really worked.
     
131. all the hopeful half smiles are breaking my heart.
     
132. this is a pretty lilly white group to choose from.. no men of color?
133. stephen looks like that guy from rushmore... also same type as groban-caveman and connie.
     
134. she likes em dark.
     
135. mickey? really?
136. i'd like my nyc construction cupcake to wear a more flattering shirt color- pink matches his embarrassed flush.
     
137. canada is giving us swagger!
138. dreamy butcher eyes!
139. bye, nicholas cage.
     
140. he is like straight out of a movie.
     
141. some of those dudes look like total douchebaggery.
     
142. yes! finger kiss!
143. i'm "crushed," lost," "defeated," after ONE cocktail party? grow a pair!
144. these confessionals are SO dramatic.
     
145. "to see her slip away?...." "i thought she was the one!"
     
146. are you kidding me?!
147. tears?!
     
148. will the phantom please reveal himself?
149. oooh i'm digging the asian tour!
150. bentley!!! no!
151. stop it! he still is in the mask!?
     
152. on the toilet?!
153. yes! broken bones for LOVE!
     
154. what?! why are they showing us the entire bentley senario?!
     
155. emily looks very much like his ex wife.
     
156. he's wretched.
     
157. who is she talking to in that bed?
158. i'm scared of impression guy....but i kinda like his tim impression...

ooh i am honestly so over the bizarre divorcees of slc consistently embarrassing us.
but.... ok, you guys..... i'm into it. i will watch.

what say you?

i think solar panels goes pretty far? and i'd throw josh lucas into that mix as well....

I'm taking a vacation from my problems

and flew to the other coast to celebrate dad's 60th b-day @ Disneyland !! now I'm off to Newport beach to reeeelax! will catch you up, look for a new job, & pick a giveaway winner next week!
xo



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

thru the looking glass

just a typical day in the dressing room:

morgan on the digirrido

me in a fleece onesie

kate drinking mouthwash

oooh i'll miss you idiots.

my blends,

my poor little heart is broken.

after repeated assurances from our producers, our sweet WONDERLAND is closing after sunday's performance.

i'm surprised.... but not completely.

unfortunately, the theatre community can often be more childish than high school and will pick a show to snub.

sadly, a clean show about a family staying together and a whole lot of fun was this years loser. (so many thoughts- but that's another rant)

so.. honestly, i'm sick about it.

we're a family. a unique family.

we bonded in tampa and went thru the FIRE together- 2 different directors and a thousand different scripts later, we fought and bonded and loved really hard for this piece.

i'm sick that it's over.

i have never been in a dressing room with such remarkable women

(9 women in a room who all get along?! unheard of!) and insanely talented artists.

i will miss that the most.

and the laughter....man, i've NEVER laughed so hard.

we get each other laughing like i do with my sisters.... till i cry-- or someone wets their pants....

oh i'm so sad.

i can't even write....

but i'm hoping this quote is true and you'll remind me that this door had to close before something more fabulous could open.... can we fast forward to that part?

just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

- anonymous

giveaway { wonderland cast recording }

wheeeeeee!!!

our cast recording is HERE!! (and it's sounds really incredible.)

the music is really fun. there's a little of every genre and some really incredible voices.

buy it on itunes { here }

or leave a comment by friday, telling me your FAVORITE musical theatre song (....you may even win extra credit for telling me what WILDHORN song is your favorite- today, mine are "woman in his arms" from camille claudel, "now when the rain falls" from pimpernel and "dying ain't so bad" and "you love who you love" from bonnie and clyde... that's a lot)

for your chance to win your very own copy of our cd sent from ME! (i may even include a little love note).

good luck and happy listening!

happy mother's day, mot!

photo booth . 1981 .

haircut . 1983 .

lately, it may feel like my dad gets all the press.
you know, he's been really sick (like 2%-chance-of-living-sick) and we talk about him a lot.
cause he's pretty awesome and we're thrilled he's still on this earth being awesome.
but you should know that i have a pretty incredible mom.
not only is she brilliantly talented at all things domesticated- seriously, she's a gifted chef, homemaker, gardener, organizer, multi-tasker, thoughtful service giver, athlete, conversationalist, stylist, listener, nurturer -(i know, it's almost obnoxious what an expert she is in so many areas)s- but she's also equipped with the Smith family gift of pragmatism.

whatever she decides to do, she does.
whether it be going back to finish hair school at 50 (she'd dropped out due to pregnancy - after her college degree) or willing my dad to live, she makes it happen.

i truly believe that she was a major part of his healing.
she went to the hospital EVERY day while d was in the hospital for months on end and managed his care and when he came home from the hospital, she became his full-time nurse.

i never saw her falter.... which is nearly unfathomable considering the stress she went thru. her faith that my dad would be healed was the cornerstone of our family on many scary days and nights. she's a rockstar.

you see, a Smith woman can make anything happen (even will a few breakups....) with a little faith, grit, and pragmatism.

so happy mother's day to you, incredible mot (i'm sure you'll read this in about 2 months...;)!
i so wish i could be there to celebrate you in person.

i love you too much!
xo nan

spring & fall : a shoe for the tween seasons.

no, i don't have a full length mirror. yes, i use my elevator door as aforementioned mirror.

it's hard to find transition season shoes.....
and i lucked out with { these } clogs.
i have walked ALL OVER NYC in them... no blisties, no pain.
it's a spring miracle.
now if i could only fix this sinus issue.....

Wonderland ticket { winner } !

congrats, kayla!!

email me: mormoninmanhattan@gmail.com

and i'll give you all the info!
excited to see you on wednesday!
xoxo

chivalry gets a standing O

whilst dining al fresco with my besties, kLo & subsy,
a very handsome gentleman approached our table (from out of nowhere) and asked for my phone number in a very courteous and chivalrous way.
the second he turned his back, my idiot girlfriends leap up from the table and give him a standing ovation.
next, kLo SCREAMS to the very puzzled diners:

"did YOU see that?! did you SEE THAT?! THAT'S how it's DONE!!!"

apparently chivalry isn't dead... or it was ....and Kate applauded its re-birth.....

i've been lashed.

and me without a stitch of makeup!

ok, ok...
to all of my utah county sisters and friends, i'm sorry i made fun of you for having fake eyelashes.
yes, i'm afraid of looking like a broken doll with lashes akimbo,
or a scary hooker.

see, i think i feared if i jumped into that fake pool then what next? my boobs? my nose? my teeth? my hair? what would be left of little ole natural natalie?

i've done the lash gel and i LOVE it (remember my little miracle discovery?) but now that i'm putting lashes on nightly, every time that eyelash glue rips out one of my expensive harvested lashes, i die a little inside....

so i took the plunge and got eyelash extensions.
i went small for my first try- the lashes actually look incredibly natural and i might want to bump it up in the future (specially if i'm using them as my stage lashes) but i'm loving them so far.

i think they'll be perfect for the summer (NO MORE FUGLY NO-MAKEUP BEACH PICTURES!!!)

janet (as in "alice" in wonderland) recommended ebenezer eyelash- and i loved them.
total service, sweetness, and a nice little massage at the end.
it was lovely.

so.....for all of you lashed, girls...what should i know about caring for my new spider legs?

who is my roommate????

is it bruce vilanch?

betsey johnson?
nope.... just stella......

don't worry.... she went to the clip 'n curl over the weekend.

GIVEAWAY! { wonderland }

lovies,

you're the GUEST and you're the GAME!

who wants to see me in WONDERLAND this wednesday, may 4th @ 8 pm?

simply leave a comment telling me who is your
favorite wonderland character for a chance to win-

the winner will be picked on tuesday and must be available
and in nyc for the wednesday night show.

good luck!