good morrow!

 i attended my very first renaissance fair a few weeks ago....
it was a TRIP.
people were FULL OUT. there was everything from body painted warriors, to capt jack sparrows, to belly dancers, to authentically dyed accurate costumes & corsets.
to say i saw a load of jiggly boosies spilling out of too-tight corsets would be a vast understatement.

nikka and i had not been there for more than 2 seconds when were assaulted by a pair of fresh knaves- they kept trying to touch me and give full frontal hugs. ew. sweaty strangers? you KNOW they're getting mad action but i was not amused.

eager to fit in with these merry revilers, i had a lovely hair wench braid my hair. i wish you could see her impressive bosoms. they were fantastic as they rested on my shoulders while she did a 5 plait braid. she had mad skills, yo. (how should i say that in a more renaissancey way?)

 their gel left a waxy flakey residue and i was pulled so tight i had an instant face-lift-
note how high my eyebrow is in the pic below.

 with nina.... please note the tooth picker. classic.

 this was the BEST wig prep ever! my wigs (which are usually TIGHT-considering i have the largest head on bway (true.bible.) ) were super baggy. and were LOCKED to my head.

look at this braid! maga talent!

i think my favorite soundbite of the day was a fine lady calling her little ones by saying,
"minions! come!"

the whole event was so totally fascinating.
 everyone takes it sooo seriously! bowing to the queen... refraining from wearing royal colors (purple)... speaking in iambic pentameter?! crazy.

i have more pix... you'll see them as soon as nikka and nina send them to me (hint, hint).
they're hilarious.

have you ever been?


Julie Weiss said...

Best. Post. Ever. Hysterical! I'm going to use the "Minions, come!" on my 3 children from now on! :)

Emily said...

Wish I could braid like that. Nope, never been.

Phredfamily said...

I went when I was a kid and had a blast. My sisters and I had the face painters paint our legs - and it turned out really cool but went from my ankle to mid-thigh...Telling this to someone else makes it sound a lot weirder then I thought it was at the time. I will totally start calling my kids 'minions' too! That's so funny!

Mom said...

HA! I was laughing so hard at this post! Thanks! Made my day! And yes those are some mad braiding skills! How long did it take her to do your hair?

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