hey UTAH!
i rarely promote things i'm not crazy about but this is my girl, jenna.
she's awesome & hilarious (& writes for the daily show) and
you'll be sad if you don't
see this:
Jenna Kim Jones at Wiseguys Trolley Square
July 8-9
7:30 and 10 PM shows both nights
Tickets are $10 (2 for 1 coupons available at www.wiseguyscomedy.com)
lucky for YOU, jenna is doing a giveaway for a pair of tickets to one of her shows!
simply leave a funny joke as a comment
by FRIDAY for your chance to win!
22 comments:
I have no good jokes, so I'll have to leave the one literally from my son's laffy taffy he bought today (coincidence? I think not!)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get some eggsercise!
Would love to see the show!
What does Snoop Dogg use to get his whites so bright?
.
.
.
BLEE-YOTCH!!
(it's so much better when you say it out loud) :)
what do you call a lost nun?
A Roamin' Catholic....
-courtesy of my mother
-Mother Danielle
Any bug can hit a windshield, but it takes guts to stick! ;)
This sounds like so much fun! I'm in!
what do you call a cow with three legs?
lean beef.
:D
I live in San Diego, but I am going to take an awesome vacation to Utah to see the family...these tickets would be wicked!
Growing up my dad was like, 'Ike, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.' And he's so right. Take this, for instance: She had a crack-baby vs. she had a crack, baby
I am from San Diego, but I will be in Utah vacationing and these tickets would be sick...so heres my joke...
Growing up my dad was like, 'Zach, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.' And he's so right. Take this, for instance: She had a crack-baby vs. she had a crack, baby
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You 'neak up on it! ("Unique" up on it, get it?)
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way! You 'neak up on it!
Some jokes just aren't meant to be written..
I am not going to be near Utah but my brother and his wife live there and I'd gladly pass the tickets along...
My favorite joke is:
What did the Zero say to the Eight?
Nice belt.
LOL!!! Love it!
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter- it won't come to you.
What kind of vehicle does Disney characters drive? A "Minnie" Van.
The only joke I know:
Q: What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft?
A: A Flat Miner (or Minor)
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver?
Because she's a woman.
Pick me! Pick me!
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two...but how the heck did they get in there?
eewwwwww ;)
Pick me!
Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggy!
My daughter is moving to SLC tomorrow. She needs something to do!
There was a captain sailing on the sea during a battle. His servant came up to him and the captain said, "bring me my red shirt".
So, the servant did as the captain said.
After that the servant came up to the captain and said, Why did you say bring me my red shirt"?
The captain said, "Well if i get shot they won't see the blood.
The next day the servant came up to the captain and said, "There are 50 ships on the horizon."
The captain said, "Bring me my brown pants."
I love wiseguys!
So, a pirate walks into a bar while wearing a steering wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender asks him, "Do you know you have a steering wheel on your belt buckle?"
The pirate answers, "Ayyyeeee! And it's driving me nuts!"
I saw Jenna do a set a year ago and thought she was great. I'd love to see her again.
And here is one of the corniest knock-knock jokes ever, courtesy of the interweb:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Amsterdam!
Amsterdam who?
Amsterdam tired of all these Knock Knock jokes.
I'd love love to see her... my new favorite "no soliciting" sign, (which in my opinion is a great joke)WARNING.... PIT BUll with AIDS.
It keeps door to door salesman away
Jokester: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Person B: I dunno, how...
Jokester (interrupting Person B and super excited): Wanna go ride bikes?!
Ba-da-chhhh!
The hubs and I went to her 7:30pm show on Sat and had a fun time - her openers were...LAME but thankfully she made up for them. She was a doll and definitely someone I'd see myself friending. Thanks for the suggestion - date night was a success :)
Obviously I have to go. I guess Jenna is not a sexy woman, but she actually is one of prettiest woman in the whole world. If I'll need to buy Viagra and to use it with somebody that would be Jenna, but I think she is not gonna accept me because of my ugly face.
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