6.27.2011

{ the bachelorette } episode 6| period.

why this pic?
because it's awesomely ridiculous and it looks SO comfortable.

here we go.. with input from audra & brandi
  1. i can't handle the barbie pink lipstick clashing iwth the orange skin.
  2. skinny jeans accentuate bowlegs....
  3. weird freeze frame time lapse thing.
  4. oh i kinda like ames - i can't help it.
  5. she waddles. with bowlegs. i'm a horrible person.
  6. i'm soooo tired of her whining.
  7. i love her feigned surprise at seeing harrison.
  8. somebody got highlights in hong kong
  9. harrison is broooonzed. he matches the curtains.
  10. she's a bad actress. she knew he was there.
  11. "pull it out of his throat. "
  12. how dramatical. a room number.
  13. nice hong kong deliberation music.
  14. yes! inner monologue!
  15. did anybody else notice the phallic banana/ orange/ apple situation?
  16. hair is sooo much better.
  17. mic pack tucked into the bra... thanks for the sheer shirt, ash.
  18. just stand outside the door like a total creeper.
  19. "who is it?" really, b?
  20. a smooch?
  21. bentley is LOVING this... sweet digs in hong kong and i'm sure he can pick up some cheap chinese tricks while he's in town.
  22. nice bangle.
  23. "sweet blood."
  24. she's the most awkward squeamish weirdo.... WHY did she fall in love so fast, exactly?
  25. they're on the same page?
  26. what page is that, bentley? what a liar.
  27. douchebag!
  28. he told her to come to slc? really?
  29. what is his problem?!
  30. audra: this is the most awkward break-up scene. i don't want to watch this. i think i've lived this.
  31. why won't he just tell her the truth?
  32. "implore".. big word.
  33. audra: NEVER say the word "period" to a guy....
  34. ahahahahaha!
  35. dot dot dot is the catch phrase of the season.
  36. how many dots has she said?
  37. stop talking about periods!
  38. why couldn't he do this on the phone?
  39. free trip, dummy!
  40. you're not fishing? this is the biggest deep sea fishing trip i've ever seen.
  41. look at him try to charm his way out of the vaca accusation!
  42. classic story of when a woman will hold on to one thing a guys says and spin that little yarn of hope into a blanket to pull over their heads....
  43. i've done it.
  44. we all have.
  45. yes! she dropped the F BOMB!! i endorse it.
  46. totally warranted.
  47. why the black hawk shot?
  48. she's a new woman !
  49. get rid of that heinous lipgloss.
  50. why the paper-doll fashion show?
  51. solar panels is the biggest gomer.
  52. lucas is a dark horse, kids. a dark horse. he's sort of adorable.
  53. wouldn't it be awesome if bentley was inside the mouth of that dragon.
  54. no, ash. hong kong is not like new york... except that they are both cities.. and we have asians too...
  55. hong kong looks real gay pride-ish.
  56. oooh that big pirate ship is coool.
  57. he's sweet but i'not feeling the chem.
  58. "sweetheart?!"
  59. cute. boat ride comment.
  60. ames still looks a little concussed.
  61. blake looks like tamra barney (real housewives of orange county)'s son, ryan.
  62. oooh sheeze! i hate when people premeditate and pretalk the first kiss. awkie.
  63. ooop! now they're dancing... to the music in their minds. awkie. you know it's in silence.
  64. he's sweet. he could be a bachelor.
  65. these challenges are so strange.
  66. groban and the caveman are twinners.
  67. i wouldn't go with solar panels. he looks like a serial killer.
  68. domino? that's awesome.
  69. ames is so brenden fraser meets herculese.
  70. do i see mormon missionaries?
  71. oooh the twins are a team!
  72. looks like they're asking chicks for a threesome!
  73. the guy who looks ace lucked out with the dragon boat team!
  74. yeah the cavegrobans don't strike me as achievers in any way.
  75. i'm bored. this crap is why i don't watch survivor or amazing race.
  76. wait, i wasn't paying attention... how did the cavegrobans get a team?
  77. streamers! sweet.
  78. yikes! ankle straps cut off the leg in such a big way!
  79. wait... what did the dragon winners get as a prize?
  80. is that dress from bebe?
  81. love in the elevator!!!
  82. yeaaaaah! get it, ames!
  83. that peck looks real awkward.
  84. at least cop a butt feel!
  85. that kiss would be semi-awkie when you're trying to pop your ears on the way up.
  86. strange when they call each other their full names. "i'm glad you came up here, ashley." formal. awkie.
  87. i semi want to go on match.com and date a bazillion people ... bachelorette style.
  88. the biggest skeptic of all = caveman in an ugly yellow sweater combo.
  89. even in a suit, that dude looks ragged.
  90. blake is SO tamra barney's son. killing me.
  91. before his pec surgery, obvi.
  92. what are those pool balls? are they ALL one color?
  93. solars is SUCH a velveeta cheeseball. sick feelings. BRIT TUELLER ZEEDIK, doesn't he sorta remind you of the little guy in the fast car who used to try to hit it with meg?
  94. man, she looks unfortunate in that outfit.
  95. ew! he's getting the rose!?
  96. mickey is giving me young elvis tonight.... i'm going to have a hard time calling him his true christian name so lets just call him ACE. thanks.
  97. vim! solars has glitter.
  98. aaaah! they called him out on the canned cheese too!!!
  99. wooah. nice stutter.
  100. i love me some jp ...but think he could rock a longer hair style.... he's not balding, why is he working the balding guy buzz?
  101. i love him.
  102. wait... why didn't we get a bentley confessional? i was ready for douchey soundbites!!!
  103. her false lashies are clunky and chunky and strange.
  104. what is she disclosing!?
  105. she's not going to drop the bentley bomb is she?!
  106. oooh sheeze. why would anybody tell somebody that...
  107. obviously a producer influenced confession.
  108. ugh... that ended with a boring confession... boring town.
  109. audra keeps falling asleep.
  110. brandi: i really don't think any of these people are into her at all.
  111. i'm glad. you're glad. we're all glad. pollyanna's glad too, kids.
  112. glad.... again.
  113. what is happening with jp's yellow collared shirt?!
  114. he's adorable. yellow shirt notwithstanding.
  115. i think the chinese cleaners starched the hell out of it.
  116. jordan paul needs to go by jordan paul.
  117. i hate an acronym name... i once dated an acronym and i called him "sheepie"
  118. oooh! get it from behind! simmer, kids. this is china not amsterdam.
  119. that chinese one stringed instrument hurts my chakras.
  120. they play it in the subway all the time and sussy tries to imitate it which makes me wet my pants with uncomfortability.
  121. i'm gonna go ahead and say that jp is gonna be the last man standing.
  122. of course jp didn't care about bentley! you told him you liked him more and you had closure...why would he care, exactly?
  123. brandi: this season is so boring! i miss the mask guy.
  124. yikes! unflattering back upshot.
  125. that dress is trying to create boobs where none exist.
  126. and it's not fooling any of us, ash.
  127. but cute hair.
  128. the boob hammock /sling doesn't exactly work.
  129. yeah, boys! call her on it!
  130. why are they being such dramatical girls?
  131. wait... now jp is outraged?
  132. he and texas are wearing the same costume.
  133. ooh and solar panels is in the purple tie club?
  134. "my blood pressure didn't even move a beat." ??????? what?!
  135. ooh of course solar is going to throw the other guys under the bus.
  136. you guys! ames sat in a hospital for crying out loud!!!!
  137. that's right, ames. choose your words.
  138. he's a dope and i love it.
  139. that's right! you should be OUTRAGED! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!
  140. LET'S HAVE A STRIKE OF THE HEART!
  141. and get tattoos about it.
  142. woah! is that dress sheer?
  143. i'm seeing crack AND thigh!
  144. rake her over the coals!
  145. string her up!
  146. kill the witch!
  147. burn her at the stake!
  148. press her to death!
  149. off with her head!!!
  150. these boys are being so stupid. of COURSE she has guys she likes better than others. that's this show.
  151. is he serious?
  152. ooop! scramble, PA's.
  153. that is so bizzarely dramatic...
  154. brandi: why is she having such a shitty time?!
  155. yeah.... you kind of have to feel for her- she's definitely had the least amount of fun of all of the bachelorettes.
  156. if i was the bachelorette, the group date challenge would be to see who gives the best massage...
  157. oh these boys are so dumb.
  158. i think "ryan barney" is getting sent home.
  159. told you!!!
  160. man! i'm getting good at this!
  161. do you think she would have sent ace home anyway?
  162. out of that bunch, i think she would have.
  163. "most of all, i just want a friend"..... this is getting more and more pathetic.
  164. wait... is ames doing tai chi?
  165. no! solar panels! yes!
  166. yikes asian wear....
  167. driving the wrong way on a one way street on a moped.
  168. solar panels makes it to fiji? yikes.
  169. oooh this is a good teaser.
  170. wait... does she have a tattoo?
  171. she's freaking about those bangs!
  172. oh no.... those dog voices made us vim.
kids, this is gonna be good... it had better be...
even the bentley returns episode is BORING!

14 comments:

roadworthrunning said...

ahahah I looooveed each and every one of these. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Imagine how awful it must be for Ashley to re-watch this, not to mention how her current fiancee must feel! I just don't see that working. Team JP though!

The Shabby Princess said...

I just can't get past that picture! Hahaha.

Nicole said...

Did anyone else notice how much Ames was blinking during that rose ceremony?? I was dying of laughter... but should we be a little worried about the guy?

the mom~ said...

I wish I would have started a drinking game in the beginning and drank everytime I heard the name BENTLEY...I would have been toast by 2nd commerical break!!! Ugh!
And yes she has a tattoo on the inside of one of her wrists...it's been there all season, lol maybe it says "gaurd & protect my heart"
Haha...
I'm team JP too, he is SEXY! :)

the mom~ said...

Oh...but I don't drink...LOL

julianna said...

Solar Panels is always smiling. Creepy.

If Jordan Paul doesn't win I hope he is the next Bachelor.

They gave us nothing about the Bentley visit because it was nothing. The producers stringed me along to believe something exciting was going to happen.

And the guys being upset was the most random thing ever. Welcome to the game show folks...it's called try to win her heart. What exactly are you doing wrong? Ah, personal responsibility. It's a killer.

XOXO said...

I can't believe that she was honestly surprised with the guys reaction. Ashley is such a dumb dumb.

Ps, you know Brit Tueller?! She is my good friend Cara's cousin! Small Mo world. :)

Libby said...

i also hate when people use full names. as in "do you remember that, libby?". i feel it is so degrading for some reason! i think Blake looks kinda sorta like Ryan but Blake is cuter. Didnt have a very good personality though. and when Solar kissed Ashley on the hand I nearly gagged. gross! She is def. bowlegged but I think she is gorgeous!

Hilary said...

yay! my favorite blog post on the web. :) totally notice the phallic fruit. Ashley is leaving the Bachelorette single. No question. Even JP with be hitting the eject button by the end of this. But dang...JP is kinda sexy, no?

Hilary said...

...and maybe in my next life I can learn to type.

Salt H2O said...

On the Bentley front- if a guy says come visit me after this is all over- and doesn't say 'hey, I'll come visit you' HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU.

When she asked 'why are you here?' what's Bentley supose to say 'the producers made me come because it's part of my contract and how was I supose to know you were wasting your time with 12 other guys in a foreign land obessing over me who you only spent maybe 12 whole hours with?
I mean damn, I knew I was good- but not THAT good'


The real winner of this season is Mickey...because he left.

The Zeediks said...

LMAO about the cavegroban and that instrument hurting your chakras! AND the photo of her in the beginning and of Jesse!? haha
Seriously so funny Nat.
Ok so you are referring to fast car Cody who Angie dated and then later he took meg for a ride in his mid life crisis car (he was early 20s) and asked her how fast he had to go to turn her on!
Yes i feel the complete dorkus resemblance you are referring to. Obsessed with getting a personalized shout out in this post.
So glad you love JP, I really love him.
Lucas on the other hand does not have my vote in the least I'd choose Ames 10x over him (I love Ames's brilliance and how nice he is) Lucas has a bad temper and is the extreme jealous type and is from a very small town and might use very poor grammar as soon as he feels comfortable. "that there" and when he is mad "get your damn ass in here" (all speculation of course :)) (disregard my poor in this post grammar haha)
Matthew joked that when she announced their next destination, Ames was thinking about his visit there just 3 months prior when he completed a full audit on the country. haha but seriously, we secretly like him, just really awkward kisses between the two of them.
I like Ben and thought their dog voice convo was funny. I did not however like his outfit that night and how he usually sits awkwardly hunched.
Constantine is unlucky that he has the name he has, and is not very into her yet, or maybe he is just being the most real.
The teasers are killing me! I did notice they dubbed constantine's voice over a scene with JP though to trick us(matthew caught that) so it will be interesting to see what happens.....
Her hair looked great i thought this episode! You have a great hair eye! total improvement!
xo miss you!!!!!!!

The Zeediks said...

at a dinner party i was at the other night, one of the women commented that Ashley is not ready to get married. She said, if she were she would not have fallen for someone like Bentley.
I thought that was actually really insightful and probably a good call.
I am so ready for his name not to be mentioned for awhile by her, don't know if that will ever happen...

christine said...

It's the Mormon Bachelorette! Have you seen this: http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dpp/news/faith/mormon-version-of-the-bachelorette-features-mesa-woman-6-29-2011?