the "no-texting" rule

there are many reasons why i love my mister.

but the FIRST thing that made me know he was different
from the rest was HIS rule
(which he outlined for me on our first phone conversation -approx 1 wk before our first date-):

no texting
(except to give addresses, a quick "5 min late" or "downstairs")

his idea.
he CALLS me.
like a grown up.

i know it will feel old fashioned to people of my generation, but it has been the best way to avoid miscommunication, encourage more/better actual conversation,
and exchange honest feelings.

sounds crazy, i know...

but after multiple text fights/breakups, i'm a convert to the "no texting" rule.
i don't hear from him for most of the day then i get butterflies when i actually hear his voice.

it's just more personal. more honest. more sincere.
and when i LOL he actually hears my machine gun laugh so
he knows i'm really LMAO.
try it!

viva la cougars

my cute danny quadrino from birdie snapped this in cedar rapids.
if you remember, i dubbed our dressing room the "cougar den"
cause my fellow ladies were all 40+.
man, i miss them.
seriously feels like i'm separated from family.
thank goodness we're having a tuesday afternoon tea group.

if you look closely, you'll notice that children are free.

children's video songbook vol. 2

i'd like to live this way...

did i tell you?

i'm in the process of getting certified to teach @ physique 57.
seriously, the ONLY workout that has given me REAL results REALLY fast.

i can't say enough about it.
i'm SHRINKING!
and loving it!

you can join us in nyc (where i will teach you ;)
in the hamptons
in beverly hills (coming this spring)

or by kicking your own butt with their
amazing videos.
buy them { here }

maybe i took class with parker posey and the victoria's secret gals... kelly ripa loves it too..

needless to say, i'm TIRED but slimming down ;)

this week:

tricia and i have yet to take a good looking picture
i've been recording frank wildhorn's newest concept album, Tears From Heaven (his first collaboration with Linda Eder since our Camille Claudel).
LOTS of singing tricky harmonies and fun melodies with some of broadway's finest.

with my taddy wilson (rock of ages, wonderland)

lala osnes and jill paice learning soprano stuff

leading ladies: deb lew (who was my maria in chicago's west side story-i was anita, natch. currently in south pacific)
laura osnes (grease, south pacific)
jill paice (curtains, 39 steps)

tricia (fiddler on the roof and camille claudel with me)
and i clearly called each other to coordinate outfits ;)

as always, the wildhorn family is having a fantastic time scream singing our guts out!

i'm so tired!
more pix to come!

good news . good news .

my sisters in the music room . rehearsing to sing in church . pola by sussy .

did you hear our good news??

as always,
thank you for your prayers (we still need them).
thank you for your cards (we really appreciate them).
thank you for supporting us (we love you).

heaven help me.

the "body distortion" shoot i did for rubberball popped up as one of the 3 hot topics on webMD.com.

nina was researching acid reflux and found my
big photo-shopped arse.

i laughed so hard, i cried.
then cried some more....

why am i fat?!

wow.

*note: objects in the mirror are smaller than they seem... Thankfully.

{ the bachelor } week 8

did you know jakie published his favorite playlist? no surprises there.... click to enlarge

• bachelor contestants gone wild cracked me up. loved seeing our old favorites.
• wes. TB- DB then, TB- DB now. and what's with the nast tats, soggy man boobs (moobs) wife beater and nipple talk?!
• ooh kiptyn. you go to these? i kinda hoped you were above that!
• those poor 5th graders! they probably thought they were going to see actual celebs-not bachelor rejects!
• oooh matt! i loved matt the brit!
  
• juan looks like he's been partying much.
  
• i like the volunteering... really great! but also incredibly random?
  
• yup. still think kiptyn is sweet. and charlie is a cad. but an interesting cad.
  
• oh goodness! all of the crazy in one episode recap?! heaven!
  
• gia: she "s*@#s rainbows!" classic and true.
  
• that gia. she's really cute, but i sure didn't ever want to re-live that tacky first rose ceremony dress. bad move, gg.
  
• yay, ali and elizabeth both toned down their hair color... see? watching yourself on tv can teach you a thing or two!
• eeshka! michelle looked posessed from the first interaction. we should have known.
  
• michelle giving the ole "i was edited harshly" line. awesome. that chestnut never gets old.
  
• did michelle steal roxie hart's dress?
• classic audience laugh when michelle said she doesn't need a therapist.
  
• yeah, al. the honey blonde was a good move. that dress, however, read chunky on camera.
• did she seem like a totally different person in the beginning of these clips?
  
• ultimate cruel joke? no... she chose to leave cause the producers told her to....
• she's doing a bad acting job.
  
• wow. what do you feel about ali's apology to vienna?! sincere? or tricky ploy to be the next bachelorette???? i smell a sequel.
  
• why does rozzie always wear the wrong neckline for her giant tatas? it's like she's always wearing some wide strip of fabric over them-no, i don't wanna see cleveland, but a sensible v-neck or scoop would do a world of good!
• awesome shot of the audience ladies rolling their eyes when roz was denying any physical interraction.
• dear roz, the flat ironed hair makes it look like thin straw. if you had a little curl or body, it'd look a lot more fab and bodiful.
  
• roz shot valishia the most horrible glare when she called her out on her BS. she looked like elizabeth berkley in showgirls. watch out, ladies! she may knife you (or throw you down the stairs) after the cameras stop rolling!
  
• niiiiice, chris harrison! get her with her unicorn magician story!!
• gosh, i like ella. would they please make her the next bachelorette?
• ugh. roz and michelle need to be committed. denial ain't just a river in egypt....
  
• ooooh she's getting nastier and nastier! like a snake being cornered!
• holy crap! the accusations against family guy, chris! he handled it with grace. roz is a hot tranny mess. i feel horrible for the man who gets involved with that train wreck and the poor innocent son she's "raising."
• it kinda breaks my heart looking at all their hopeful faces when jake comes out. you know their inner monologue is something like, "i hope he thinks i look hotter/skinnier/better and he's TOTALLY regretting his decision."
• go christina! that was a sincere jake shout out! totally made her night!
  
• oh the out-takes were really sweet! wish we saw more of that in the credits on the weekly shows. we KNOW it's a tv show, it's ok to talk about it.
• vienna is an oompaloompa with bad stenchies. thought that from her first "ab grope" reveal.
  
• ugh. i know they tried to cut vienna's segment so i'd feel love/sympathy/anything other than disgust, but they failed. she was laughable in every frame.
  
• i do like tenley. she really is a disney princess with a smoking hot body... but i know lots of girls like that and they're sincere, so i think she is too... and she's definitely the best choice for him.
  

what if he doesn't pick either of them?
i know the spoilers point to v, but i can't see it happening without a serious riot from the single ladies of nyc.
how excited are you for next week?
we get another lean-to jake- on- the- railing shot.

as always, what did you think?

i enjoy being a girl.

"You were not created to be the same as men. Your natural attributes, affections, and personalities are entirely different from these of a man. They consist of faithfulness, benevolence, kindness, and charity. They also balance the more aggressive and competitive nature of man. The business world is competitive and sometimes ruthless. We do not doubt that women have both the brain power and the skills to compete with men. But by competing they must of necessity, become aggressive and competitive. Thus their godly attributes are diminished and they acquire a quality of sameness with man. The conventional wisdom of the day would have you be equal with men. We say, we would not have you descend to that level."

-President Ezra Taft Benson


quote stolen from keitch's blog
photo of me by sussy on my iphone

what's on my fingers today......no, not a diamond...

truly, i was a bit bummed about the spring trends for nails....mauve? mint? grey?
80's aren't my favorite decade. bleh. who wants to revisit it on my digits?! what's next? the return of UNITS?

but i tried
essie's angora cardi
(again, i'm not even a fan of purple...)
and i'm loving it.

bring it, 80's spring!

project - runway - sound - of - music - sayonara

pre-mister (think that may deserve a new acronym, no? PM),
i dated a dude i thought generally cool.
things were swimming nicely, we'd been dating about a month,
and i tolerated late-night drunk calls generally well...
turns out, i generally only heard his voice via phone while inebriated.
he, however, was an attentive sober texter (not my preferred mode of communication).
one day, during strained text communication
(i had gently asked him to refrain from calling me while plastered--
or at least to be a titch kinder when he does),
he randomly gave me an "auf wiedersehen."

project runway style.
or, for you theatre folks,

he gave me "the sound of music" sayonara.

ouch.

no follow up...nothing.

i'm no dummy, someone "auf wiedersehen's" me and i peace out. he doesn't deserve a grovel, clarification, or response.

so there it sat... for 2 wks.

remember the last time i wrote about a text break up? { here }
i find the text even LESS personal than the hand written post-it.

and like clockwork, he called, apologized, and asked for chance #2.

and i said,

"so long,
farewell,
auf weidersehen,

good bye. "

{ the bachelor } week 7

instead of looking @ the bach bozos, look at my friend kat (on the left) in her banana schpeel commercial which aired in nyc during the bach!

ok, so the ONE time i don't write a bach caveat saying i'm sure these girls are sweet spirits,
but we're poking fun of the characters they're creating, i get flack.
re-lax.
this is reality tv.
it is meant for our viewing enjoyment.
if you think this is how real life/love is, you have a bigger problem than finding funny moments in the bachelor.

that said, let's dig in:

• ali gazing at printed out photos of jake from the bachelor website.
  
• thinking on the rock . awkward.
  
• jake's "i didn't even know you were coming!" to gia. really ? you just "happened" to be standing on the top of the rock gazing out into the distance being recorded by a massive film crew?...
• again! the pucca rastafarian necklace? yikes. even seeing it's origin didn't make it ok.
  
• jake dancing! make it stop!!!
  
• the bro-pound by jake only hit by the local slapping his fist.
  
• i'm intrigued because you're so drop dead gorgeous". in it for all the right reasons, j.
  
• "one thing i do is put others ahead of myself." i threw up a little in my mouth.
  
• i cant handle guys who say "i'm the type of guy....". jake's "that type of guy."
  
• i wish they would have shown the awkward mount of the hammock.. anyone who has ever been on one knows it's the most awkie situation.
  
• seems that j only ever talks about g's gorgeousness.
  
• i feel bad for the guy who has to plant the rose petals in the fantasy suite.... that's a menial chore.
  
• "how will you pursue me in the real world?" great question, tenley. seriously. jake's unrealistic answer... "well, i'll take you to the caymans." not costco... the caymans.
  
• picnicing in a machine? pretty unromantic.. i'd rather do it at the beach.
  
• nice dance metaphor, tenley. you really are cinderella, aren't you!?
• the old "i've never done this before" re: the fantasy suite.... it was nice that jakie "respected her morals" by sleeping with her.
  
• magic editing again! wet hair/dry hair/ wet hair/dry hair.
• vienna's tat? what is it? a marlin? a grasshopper?
  
• love when she licked him and he said, "what are you doing?!"
• poor vienna... the up the skirt shot.
  
• jake flirting.... yikes.
  
• dear jake, please don't cry when you get to the top of the ship like when you melted down on the bridge.
  
• vienna's elf hair confessional. better than martha washington, i'll admit...
• her makeup reminds me of barbie and the rockers- purple shadow + hot pink lips.
  
• woaaaaah! the ring talk?! major. ew. i'm feeling like you spoilers may be right! yuck.
  
• is vienna cross-eyed?
• nice kiss instead of the "i love you too."
• no water features in vienna's dream suite? straight to the bed in the awkward 45 yr old lady lingerie?
• the ali phone call (tolja so...) lotta groaning.
  
• nice "get on the plane" teaser going to commercial breaks.
• definitely setting ali up as the next bachelorette, which is totally gross. didn't abc do a focus group? we DON'T want to see ali as the next bachelorette. she's catty and a bore!
• another lean-to..... this time, out the window for some fresh air.
  
• loved the 2-button down or 1-butt0n shirt decision in the mirror... he finally make the right choice. only one button open, fellas.
• nooooo! not a dancing flashback!!!! i don't wanna see that again!!
• tenley has great highlights. very aniston.
  
• eye patch moment was priceless. he deserves vienna.
  
• eek. the teleprompter messages are super contrived.
  
• gia, the baby voice and hidden eye pleading made me feel queasy.
• vienna and the confidence!! "hi sweetheart!"
  
• vienna crimped the hell-o out of her hair. i'm thinking it's because she's naturally curly (and fighting the humidity)with straight extensions.... can you believe i tried to find the method in that madness?
  
• v, suck it in or don't wear satin on tv.
• i like tenley's dress.
• tenley's flower was a good idea in theory, but clearly wilted by nights end.
• gia is the only one in the top 3 who knows how to correctly apply makeup.
  
• poor gia, vienna is a man.
  
• poor gia, we had to watch you sweat in HD. that was brutal

alls i can say is if jake picks v in the end, it will last approx 2 wks.
amen.

not too shabby in central park.

hooray!
shabby apple's new line, central park, has arrived!
and it's getting me sooo excited for spring.

they were so sweet to ask me to write about a nyc memory for their awesome blog.
i happily obliged { here }

if you don't think i have the above dress on order, you'd be dead wrong!
and how adorable is my friend andrea in it!
if only i could look that good!

a day of love.

my dear, talented friend candice started my v-day celebration with the most thoughtful care package full of little cards to give (or keep)

an AMAZING mix cd.
seriously, copy it.

thank you, c!
a clever little banner (that may just stay up year-round, it's that cool)

mister spent the weekend with the fellas in n'orleans at mardi gras for a bach party but 2 doz red roses were delivered sunday morning to keep me happy till he returned to me late that eve...

(and, for the record, even though he refuses to read the blog and "claims" he doesn't want to be written about, he wanted me to note that the other half of my gift didn't arrive (grrrr) and he's taking me for a "conventional v-day" dinner on tues ;).

and mot and d sent red TOMS!
they've always given lovely v-day gifts- when i was in my teens, i got loads of pretty gold jewelry... then boys started doing that so they switched to traditional red shoes. it's a lovely tradition.

you've been asking for it....

. my mister and me . deer valley, utah . feb 2010 .

lush boutique { winner } !

congrats, happy dash!
thanks to everyone for entering!

email your info to :
mormoninmanhattan@gmail.com

and for the rest of you v-day slackers, check out the amazing gift ideas everyone gave in the comments section!

{ the bachelor } week 6

vienna and her dad, borat,
in their cracked picture frame

vienna and her dad, borat, after she won the gold cup for ........ i dunno... worst extensions/makeup?

i agee with everything shavs said.... here are a few more items that made the mr and me giggle.

• pucca shells? rastafarian pucca shells? seriously?! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, JAKE! GET A GRIP, YOU CHEESY TOOL! (sorry.. had to get that off my chest.)
• "i've got her back" (re: gia) whats with the "got her back" talk?! was he trying to smack ghetto while talking to her mafia fam?
• love how gia's clearly NOT from new york. she's evidently from a bourough... the staged restaurant situation was very strange.
  
• step brother (aka. sonic the hedgehog). doesn't gia own a salon?! yikes.
  
• i'm always amazed when parents question the process- really?! you KNOW your daughter went on the bachelor, right? why are you drilling him about the 3 (or 4-as vienna's slick academic dad put it) other ladies he's dating.
  
• ali's walk. enough said.
  
• i appreciate her attempt to do her hair on the hometown, but really? straight with curling iron tight ends? sad.
• appreciated jakes Massachusetts costume.... pea coat. duly noted.
• did they really spend 3-4 min talking about the leaves before spontaneously (staged) frolicking and wishing on them? yes. they did.
  
• r pointed out that ali thoughtfully matched her jeans to those hideous blue cabinets in mom's kitchen. shavs called that-p-town all the way.
  
• where are the dads?! did anyone mention gia or ali's dads? where were they?!
• wasn't it classy that when ali dropped the L-bomb on J, he thoughtfully pulled off his gloves in slow-mo then groped her face with his sweaty glove hands when he planted one on her?
• then did you notice that the next cut was of him kissing her with the gloves on?! magic!!! (and terrible terrible editing. shavs, tell me your "staffer" isn't an editor?/1)
• i think we have a new nickname: "tenley left-eye-lopez" . i saw that left eye from under the hair the entire episode.....
• ooook. that dance creeped me out in the most fundamental way. however, i really do think T meant it sincerely (unlike all of the rest of the ladies.)
• t and j are the only choice. they'll be mr. and mrs. boring cheeseball, but at least they're on the same page.
  
• tenley gave jake an "inside to her soul." bhh.
• vienna is white trash. confirmed.
  
• and she got a healthy dose of botox in the forehead pre-hometown.
  
• say this 4 times fast: "i've never felt the feeling of falling before"
• r: what's the gravitational pull like in hollywood?! everyone is talking about falling!!!! never heard so many "falling" references before!
• notice that jakie brought out his southern drawl to meet the dad?
• according to v's mom (who must have pushed her out at a young age), she has "went thru this her entire life"....... probably cause she never learned correct english?
• philosopher jake: life is about minimizing regrets.
• ali's breakdown was comical..but my favorite part was when she walked down the hall, wailed like a cow in heat, hit the floor and looked back to see if the cameras were on her.
  
• ali, WHAT were you wearing at the rose ceremony?! you looked like tacky malibu skipper had her head rubbed into the carpet by somebody's big brother.
  
• also, when you cry, keep your legs together. we don't want to see that.
  
• grateful for jakes signature lean-to on the brass railing after ali left.
  ultimate anguish. noted.
  
• i'm really going to work on ali's limo monologue for my next audition: " what did i do?....... how could i have left him?"

yup, shavs.
she's coming back.
booooring. and OVER ali.

still think tenley is the only option for j.

giveaway { lush boutique }

the rockstar bracelet

welcome to our newest sponsor, lush boutique!

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hurry, hurry, hint to your sweetie before valentine's day!

or you can leave a comment telling me what you'd give YOUR boyf for v-day

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for a chance to win the gorgeous rockstar bracelet

winner chosen friday!

shav's bachelor re-capl

blends!

it's been a wild wild week!

i've braved a red-eye, crack-o-red-eye-dawn audition, and now we're in the thick of a blizzard.

so i'm stranded downtown with mr, nugget, a slanket, billy's cupcakes, blt burgers, little pie co cheddar/apple pies and loads of movies.

unfortunately, i'm without the bach or the rest of my dvr homework.

lucky for you, i enlisted my funniest lovie, shavs for her epic commentary.

i'll be sure to post my addendum after i catch it.

you're welcome.

***

Every week I watch the Bachelor with the same gang, and every week it goes the same way. A handful of girls who love to comment on the outfits, and a couple of dudes that love to stand up for the girls outfits after we have ripped them to shreds (one of said men is a "staffer," but not "THE staffer."

Gia's hometown was first, and she decides that the best way to see New York is by boat? Really? I have to disagree but what do I know? I'm a California girl. Anyway, they have an impromptu photo shoot (probably because they were on a boat tour of NYC and weren't seeing anything new) which was...normal. But, hey abc, do you think I'm some sort of fool? If you're going to show us their snapshots, actually show us their snapshots-otherwise we can do without the camera noises and the fake photos.

After the boat ride they head to meet Gia's guido family. Was her step brother Erick one of Snookis boyfriends on the Jersey Shore? I was hoping he would break out a fist pump. A little disappointed that we weren't able to see their house or were never introduced to the little brother? Who was that kid? All in all, Gia is the hottest in her family, although her mom does have a GREAT set of legs.

After New York, Jake flew (on the wings of love, I'm sure) to MA to meet Alli and her family. As soon as they are reunited alli starts talking about her dead grandma. Who else besides me thought that maybe she was going to take him to a
Cemetary? Phew! She didnt, but they did however go visit her grandmas ghost at her old house. I hate to be insensitive but that was weird. She mentioned her grandma was crying tears of happiness for her and Jake after she "met" him, which is sweet of a ghost to do, since they usually just haunt.

Allie's family seems normal. I had to keep telling myself that they live in MA and not one of the old Provo houses south of campus that I lived in (Seriously, that kitchen is straight off of 5th north and 2nd east).

Next stop, Oregon! Are Tenley and Jake not a match made in heaven? And how cute was her little skirted pea coat/target rain boots combo? I was loving her playful little outfit. I generally love Tenley but she's a liar-your husband NEVER saw you dance and you're a dancer? Was your husband blind?I really find that hard to believe otherwise. But bAck to the dancing, if it were anyone else I would say "save the weird private lyrical recital" for a time without the cameras, but since it's Tenley it was kind of sweet, right?

Tenley really is sweet. My "staffer" friend has been telling us that since the beginning. Well now we know where she gets it from! How cute was her dad? Oh man that fam is perfectly nice. The cheese just oozes and it's perfectly acceptable because you know it's sincere. If Jake doesn't pick this girl he's insane.

After the best hometown date of the night, Jake flew to the bayou to meet Vienna's family. Everyone of the girls dresses fine and mostly always adorable...especially on these hometown dates-really appropriate, and Vienna...well, her outfit was expected. Daisy dukes, a pink bathing suit top, a wife beater and a drapey off the shoulder tshirt...do they only have Clothestime and Wet Seal in Sanford, FL? She was dressed for the occasion I guess...a jungle cruise. The most hilarious part about this portion of the show was that Jake said "Vienna is so natural" uhh what part? Her hair? Boobs? Skin color? Or were you talking about her nose...? Cause I'm pretty sure that's the only thing left that's au natural.

Viennas family is just that...Vienna's family. I read this week that her mom is a topless dancer...yikes. Her dad awkwardly walked in on them kissing which was obviously staged. Whatever I'm over Vienna. WHY IS SHE STILL ON?

NOW THE GOLD OF THE EPISODE, the rose ceremony. This rose ceremony was filmed just steps from my work at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel so I was excited to see it on tv...however the filming was in the middle of the night. That's right folks, insider info: the rose ceremonies are taped way late. Allie's emotional breakdown took place between 2 and 3am...and my staffer was one if 20-30 people in the room for Jake and alli's "private talk." the "staffer" says that Alli was crying and pouting for a good hour and a half before she finally made a decision. He didn't however know if she had just got out of a convertible on the freeway or a tornado with that hair...wow girl you looked like you just ran a marathon with that hair.

The end for Alli? I bet she's back next week, in the same fashion as Ed.

***

love it.

i laughed so hard i cried!

thanks, shavs!

The only thing I have in common with Warren Buffet...

Best friend DD here. Its no secret that Warren Buffet knows a thing or two about making a buck. If he handled my 401k who knows where I would be. But I digress, Warren and I have something in common almost as good as hard cold cash...SEES CANDY!!!!

Now being a Southern California girl, I have had a lifetime love affair with their tasty chocolate. My aunt's office was next to the factory when I was little and I thought she was the luckiest EVER. Mr. Buffet and his Berkshire Hathaway owns See's these days but clearly he knew not to mess with something that was already perfect instead he is filling the void left by Fannie Farmer and bringing See's to YOU!

If you're not lucky enough to live by one, See's has opened seasonal boutiques from now until Valentine's Day so click here and find yourself some See's. For the uninitiated their candy is fantastic and when you visit the store you get a free "piece of the day" sample just for stopping by.

My favorite box is the "nuts and chews" (check out the glorious technicolor photo below). My favorite pieces are the scotchmallows (2nd row, 3rd from left), the almond caramels (3rd row, 1st on the right) and the milk molasses chips (they come in their own box). Be warned that there is nothing in the box that explains what you are about to enjoy but they are all super tasty so dont be afraid or you can cheat and go online for help. I'm not sure I should admit this in public but I can pretty much look at a box and know which ones are my favorites; being wrong sucks though if its the one cherry cordial in the box. Ick.

Anyhow if you are a fan like me, well then you found a kindred spirit, if you're new to See's become a convert. And remember their is no shame in buying yourself a box of chocolate, maybe in eating the whole box alone in front of the TV, but not in buying it.

Taking one for the team...

Hey Natalie fans, best friend DD here. Nat and I were having a good laugh on the phone today and she gave me clearance to share this wacky story from our touring days, some of the details are a little fuzzy all these years later but the gist of the story is all true....

A little background first, when you live your life on the road its like living in a small town, you travel the country with 65 other people and you're together ALL of the time. You go to work together and even stranger you live down the hall from each other in some twisted version of college dorms. In a normal life situation you would never see your co-workers 24-7. In this weird petri dish however, just like a germ culture, things grow overnight that weren't there the day before.

So back to the story, we worked with a guy named Bill*. Bill was both adorable and single but more importantly an all around great guy who everyone was friendly with backstage. On tour you rotate through different crowds of people and Bill was part of our "of the moment" crowd. One night Nat and Bill decided they were going to hang out in Nat's room and watch a movie. We do a lot of hanging out in each others rooms because short of the lobby and the hotel bar there is nowhere else to go after work in towns where the sidewalk rolls up. This is normal on tour - not normal at home - never invite a boy to hang out unchaperoned in your bedroom (CTR - people!).

Cute Natalie had no interest in Bill and innocently thought they were just going to watch a movie. There was nothing about her actions that should have encouraged him; I think she had on ratty old sweats and her hair was a mess from her show wig. Unfortunately it turned out that Bill had misread all of Natalie's friendly backstage gestures and thought that their movie hang was the start of "something" and this was his chance to "take things to the next level" (we hate this term - another reason why Nat and I are bonded for life). So there they are in Nat's room and suddenly it’s like the walls are closing in around her and there is not enough space for them both. If she sits on the couch, he moves next to her, if she moves to the bed he does too. I think he even tried the old "let me massage your shoulders" move. Done right massages are great, done wrong, what else can I say but, ICK!

Now knowing that she has to work with the guy the next day she can't just shove him out the door and lose his number like she would with anyone else who crossed her very modest boundaries. So that is where I come in. Out of the blue I get a text from her giving me the lowdown and asking for help. Now Nat and I are also bonded over ice cream and I know there are several pints in her freezer; with that in mind I wander down to her room and knock on the door...

"Hey guys, whatcha doing?" I say in my cheeriest voice as I walk through the door. Nat looks visibly relieved, he looks peeved. "I've come for ice cream", I say as I head to the fridge, "who wants some?" Bill shakes his head no and suggests that since they're in the middle of a movie maybe I want to take the ice cream and go. Instead I turn on the lights - ALL of the lights - and start rummaging in the kitchen. I make a big show of pulling out all the flavors and laying spoons and bowls out on the counter. I could tell he thought he would soon be rid of me when I state that the ice cream is frozen solid and proceed to plant myself firmly on the couch and say "so whatcha guys watching?"

Now Bill is the kind of guy who is used to getting what he wants and he is sure his charms have been winning Natalie over, that is until my unscheduled arrival. As I dig into to wait Bill becomes visibly and increasingly frustrated as his plans slowly unravel. To Bill's credit he fought a hard battle, I think at one point he even pulled Nat aside and suggested that SHE ask me to take the ice cream and go, but he didn't know that I was on a mission of chastity and that he was way out manned by me.

Bill finally accepted defeat and skulked home while Nat and I had a good chuckle over our bowls of ice cream. He didn't speak to me much at work after that, but there were no more movie nights in the Hill room so score one for DD and her fine c**k block skills, score zero for the pushy boy.

Ladies I hope you never find yourself in this predicament but if you do I hope your bestie will come to your aid.


ball and bat art found here

giveaway { winner } hcg boutique

ha! i love it! i live for the spanx!
congrats, nikki!
email me to get started!
{ mormoninmanhattan@gmail.com }


ok, DD
it's all yours!
i'm going radio silent for the weekend to host my very own "bachelor home-town date".....

hope he likes utah as much as i do....

xo n

Hunka hunka burnin' love...

Best friend DD here, I have been a bad sub blogger b/c that Nat keeps posting! I happen to know she spent the day on the slopes so maybe she is too pooped to post....

So before she gets near a keyboard here goes... since its February and there's this little holiday about love coming I thought I'd tell you about my field trip to the Corning Museum of Glass. Maybe glassware doesn't sing romance but there is nothing better than a homemade gift from the heart (ha! I'm so darn clever).

Now until Valentine's Day you can make your very own heartshaped paper weight (check mine out above.) Year round you can make all sorts of cool stuff, flowers, ornaments, paper weights, wind chimes, etc. The staff is super friendly, Donna in particular was the best and took this photo essay for me. So if you feel like channeling your inner Tiffany or Chihuly and you find yourself in the Corning, NY area, you have to stop and make your own project! The hard part however will be giving it away.

This is my first project, its going to be an ornament.

natalie here,
dhyana is NOT the woman in red.
i repeat, dhyana is NOT the woman in red.

Here I am rockin' all sorts of safety gear. I'm rolling the first layer of glass that will form my paperweight.

Here's the finished product. I made that!!!! She is blowing on it to cool the glass down so it can be snapped off the pipe.

saturday is a special day!

did you get your tickets for saturday night??

more info { here }

i'll be reprising my role as "eponine" in the Les Miz medley
with the original concert cast
(holy moly, i haven't sung "on my own" in over 10 yrs... pray for me ;)

AND

my own little tribute to syd with a very special guest star!

Cast includes:
Alison Clark, Alison Terry, Amanda Crabb, Amy Shreeve Keeler, Andy Iotcovici, Angela Boyle King, Anya Young Wilson, Ashley Akana, Ben Tichy, Beth Duckwitz, BreAnne Folkman, Brian Clark, Britani Bateman, Chris Higbee, Dan Duckwitz, Darick Pead, DeShawn Smith, Devin Spann, Emily Perucca, Hailey Jones Smith, Heidi Hemmert Spann, Jamie Emmons, Janessa Lamb, Jared Young, Jaremy Hill, Jenny Jordan Frogley, Julie Webb, Kate Bartholomew, Katie Higbee, Kathryn Little, Kaylie Bell Watkins, Kerilyn Johnson, Kevin Goertzen, Kristen Bradley, Laurel Asay Lowe, Mary Hall Drinkwater, Melinda Lockwood, Melissa Lindsey, Michelle Boothe, MIchelle Marquis Gardner, Natalie Hill, Neal Barth, Nina Hill, Rachel Woodward, Rosanna Ungerman, Sarah Russo, Scott Sackett, Spencer Bean, TJ Young....

good people....you'd better be there!

from the hill family inside joke vault:

years ago, one of my sisters was smitten with a certain upperclassman.

one day, she came home from school... beaming.

she: i talked to john* today!!!

me: what happened??

she: i said, "hi john!"

and he said, "hey."


woah, dream big.

*fake name, natch.

{ the bachelor } week 5

exhibit A: martha washington

hold on! hold on!
this is my 1,000th post!
what?!

thanks for reading.
you're cool.

ok, ok.
last night's bach gathering was a little cattier than most- i was with my most fabulously stylish high school girlfriends + in-the-know husband so we ripped those poor girls apart....

that said,
i'm sure they're all lovely ladies... but the characters they created gave us loads of fodder.

you're welcome and i'm sorry.

• ang: "what kind of a homemade name is tenley?!"
• gia is clearly too sexy for her shirt- she can't keep her shirt on her shoulders!
• how many different ways to we need to hear "on the wings of love" as background music. last week, we heard it acoustic and california dreamin'-beach boy's-esque and this week we got full elevator rendition! clever!
• last week was plaid week for dear jakie. this week, we saw every leather jacket anyone has ever produced and even were treated to the DOUBLE v-neck. (thanks to the hs gf's , i realized why i can't tolerate jake- he reminds me of the cheeseball who broke my 16 yr old heart. broke me. now i'm SOOOOO glad that didn't work out... still makes me despise jake. sorry jake.)
• i want to put a hot poker thru my eardrum when i hear tenley's baby voice... that said, i think she's the best choice for jake.
  

• my favorite over-used bach phrases:

"i have a lot of love to give."
"she's here for all the right reasons."
"i'm starting to fall for _______(insert EVERY contestant)."
"this rose ceremony is the toughest one yet!"
"i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to fall in love."

• hey nikki, lets go to that SF fortune cookie place!
• favorite quotes from last night:
  

"you suck at life" (allie)
"i expect my wife to always have my back." ( gangsta jake)
"a marriage can never be perfect but love can be." (pensive jake)
"you can eat my salmon." (gia)
"i assure you, i had dirty thoughts." (rinky jake)
"it's not about 'sex-appeal'. it's about 'heart-appeal'" (philosopher jake)
"i'm my dad's princes and now i'm jake's queen and he's my prince charming!" (princess vienna)

• ang (re: vienna) "she should be on rock of love by the way she looks!"
• loved the costume box full of early 90's drag to wear to the big castle.
  
• vienna needs to work on her fake cry- it took too long to muster up moisture.
• gia, putting your hands in your mouth in an attempt to look bashful is a bit more reprimanded 5 yr old than sexy.
• also, the band-aid finger face caress is not only hurty but slightly unsanitary!
• crazy stalker vienna wandering the castle with the lantern screaming his name was one of my favorite moments. dear v, you wouldnt be lost if you had STAYED WHERE THEY PUT YOU!
• aaron: "these awkward silence shots are more like a scene from the hills!"
• loved that V went legs over j's body RIGHT after gia called him out on his pattern.
• ang: "vienna is a bottom lip talker!!"
• jake/corrie run for each other in the park gave me shades of jason mesnick!
• corrie, totally! when i'm told i'm "going for a walk" on a date, i immediately pull out my least-sensible-impossible to walk in heels... totally. well done, miss practical!
• jake and corrie's "kiss the girl" boat ride was CLASSIC!
• i did the math and if he's willing to go 80% and she's willing to go 10%........ that makes 90%. guess that explains the axe at the rose ceremony.
  
• ang: "vienna always looks like she's going to throw up."
• the aquarium date gave me the weebs....more on that later... that's "why i hate fish" post 3
• please, would somebody give allie a purse? i love me the l.l. bean tote, but it just wasn't working with the outfit.
  
• lindsey: "her favorite flower is the daisy? the gerber daisy?! that's a dealbreaker, ladies!"
• loved their picnic but i was wondering when uncle jesse and danny tanner were going to run out with the rest of the tanner clan!
• allie's barefoot soccer moves finally explained her constant hagged out soccer ponytail! i get it now!
• running into the freezing sf water isn't exactly spontaneous, it's stupid. and you ruined your boots, you wierdo.
  
• vienna gave us consistant polygamy/ martha washington dos. hey, she's got a style!
• corrie mastered the rose ceremony pout. expert.
  
• jake could teach vienna a thing or two about the insincere misty eye after his lump at the rose ceremony. well played, jake.
  

tra-la-la.
those are our peanut gallery thoughts for this week....
i know the spoilers say it's vienna, but i just CAN'T see it happening!
i think tenley is his girl.

you?

{ giveaway } hcg boutique

so your new years res is already failing?

our lovely gals at hcg boutique are offering a boost to one lucky reader!

-1oz bottle of sublingual hcg drops
-complete instructions & protocol
-menu, calorie counter, recipes
-coconut oil (lotion replacement)
-facial moisturizing spray
-crystal deodorant
-boutique house seasoning packet
-liquid stevia sweetener
-access to memebers only area
-personal one-on-one coaching

because bikini season is right around the corner!

just leave a comment telling me what item of clothing makes you feel most fabulous
for a chance to win!

giveaway ends friday!
xoxo n

i proved myself

behold! the strawberry cream cheese genoise!

mom wanted to test my "wife" capabilities
(not to worry.. not getting married today or tomorrow)...

so she tested me with one of the trickiest recipes in the cooks illustrated cookbook.

it took hours and many many kitchen instruments..
but
i passed.



guess i'm ready for the rock! ;)


xo nat