" the bachelorette " { episode 3 }

1. ali and her pee-yellow hair are at it again..
2. rrrroberto and the bum chin.
   
3. no way on this earth would i ever walk on the tightwire......
4. cept with 25 chains, helmets, security wires, harnesses keeping me up.
5. tight wire kiss with "fall for you" jokes was SUUUUPER awkie and forced. yowza.
   
6. nice script: looking forward to our next kiss with two feet firmly planted on the ground.
7. he's cute and she's orange.
   
8. poor ali in the metal holey chair- you know that left an imprint on her thighs.
   
9. nope, al . you're NOT pretty enough for him.
   
10. nice cocky, "not a lot of guys make me feel that way" re: not feeling pretty enough for him.
    
11. nice pillow pile in the middle of the roof.... nothing staged about that!
12. ugh. i so can't stand her.
    
13. bare naked ladies?! what the 90's?!
14. whyyyyy????
15. ooooh the awkie dancing by everybody!!
16. tub guy feels gay to me...
17. weatherman is SUCH a weirdo. suuuuch a weirdo.
    
18. gay? little guy?
    
19. maybe all of the above.
    
20. isn't he supposed to be comfortable on camera?!
21. crying?!!!?
22. please don't talk about your rocket ship blowing up.
    
23. ew. the linger kissing after the "cut" was painfully strange.
24. eeew. his "wanna go somewhere and have a real first kiss?" reminded me of sussy's awkie "mind if i put the moves on you?" date.
25. did ali lose a ton of weight in the last week? her abs did not look that bangin at the euro panties shoot.
    
26. who is this lip locking fool? i don't remember seeing him before!i'm not really a fan of a ruddy skinned dude with orange hair.... wait...... he looks like ali....
27. creepy weatherman watcher in the woods!
28. oh this music video is freaking terrible! please tell me they don't release that... wait, they still make music videos?!
29. a) surprisssssse. nice sssss's b) that was classic to see him creeping into her confessional shot. 3) can't stop thinking about his under armpit chafing. anybody who has ever been on crutches can emphasize.
    
30. i don't trust that rated-r... and i think it's shadytown that he pushed back the other dudes date time.
    
31. WHY IS SHE ALWAYS DRIVING?! oooh what a powerful woman! gross. not a feminist statement-just a turn off to me...
32. eeeeew! and then rated-r brings up that his date is starting late!! what a jerk.
    
33. why do they do pre-game talk to themselves? please tell me all men do that?!
34. why are they making so many burgers and hot dogs for themselves? having a party?
35. ugh, ali. spare us with your "career" talk. we ALL knew you were peace-ing out so you can be the bachelorette.
36. he wants to stay home with the kids?!
37. rated r- please stop trying to make pat-on-the-back comments while your ONE calf soaks in the hot tub.
    
38. first hot tub scene of the season. wish it was with rrrrroberto.
39. did he just call her "baby"?
40. awkward body language. side by side by sondheim.
41. she just pulled away....
    
42. "i love to love" aaaaawkward.
    
43. hunter is sweet.... and so not for her.
    
44. really, RR? you'd give up your fancy wrestling career for ali? how noble.
    
45. oooh his monologue with the tear was AMAZEBALLS! please, somebody write that down and recite it for your college auditions.
    
46. "darlin'" ew. nothing is more nast than a forced nickname.
    
47. oooh ouch. hunter. bless your heart.
48. RR's true colors are shinin' ... that's why we don't love you. ....
49. does he slightly look like my buddy, david osmond to you?
50. go ali. play flip cup with cape cod.
    
51. frank, relax. you're looking like a psycho.
52. ugh. i really hate her hair... have i mentioned that. straggly.
    
53. woah steve! that was bold! cute picnic move.
    
54. um, dudes? how did you not hear RR crutch up behind you when you were "sneaky talking."
55. "this is a test of mental toughness"...... really dude? get a grip.
    
56. "one minute you care about us? the next minute you don't" ...... yeeeah, lawyer, are you trying to date rated r?
57. what is with pink face's green shirt?!
58. really RR? are you crying in the corner by yourself? GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!
59. weatherman is sunburned and profusely sweating in the rose ceremony.
    
60. ali you are RETARDED if you don't keep steve.
61. yup. retarded.
    
62. she's so lame.
    
63. anybody know jim mc master? he looks sorta like steve.
64. why were RR and weatherman shaking hands? they're both staying.
    
65. i think john c is a little gay... and alan cumming's look alike?
66. the dudes lunging for the mouse cracked me up.
    

kids, there were a LOT of tears this week....
do you love men who sob and inappropriate times?