i'm really together.hopeful about the future,
(you know what "they" say about new york minutes)
sure that i will love,
(and BE loved-though sometimes i doubt that ever happened-did i make this up?!)
and be peaceful, normal, and happy again.
(for the record, TODAY is a good day)
and other days,
i'm not.
at all.
and i cry - a lot.
(wait... who am i kidding... i still do that daily...)
which is annoying because i ruin my mascara
(thankfully i'm using the cheap stuff now)
and i misplaced my "dark glasses"
which made it possible to cry on the street
without people noticing.
(too much)
but i try not to write about it
cause, after all, WHO wants to date a girl (and i am dating)
who drags on and on and on about her heartbreak.
but for those of you who are going thru it as well....
i feel you.
and even though i'm not so sure everything will be "right" again...
people who are smarter than i tell me it's so....
so...
you let me know when that happens for you...
and i'll be sure to ring you when it happens for me.
16 comments:
This post really hit me. Not because I'm going through a breakup, but because I haven't been in a breakup since I was 16. Eleven years later, I'm still waiting for something good to happen with my dating love. Thanks for expressing what I couldn't find the words for.
Totally.
And not to be a downer, but it's been 4 years for me and I still feel it a little every day. Luckily it gets less and less as time carries on.
Best of luck. Drown yourself in friends, more dates, Grey's (though maybe not this week's), and cupcakes.
Thank you for this post. I'm going through it as well and despite hearing from all my (married) girlfriends that everything will be alright and that "he's out there", sometimes it's just too hard to believe. Luckily, the church is true and there is a plan. Good luck!
Natalie I want to share a story with you....!
...went to Burley, Idaho engaged, drove home unengaged...sitting next to the baffoom the whole way back to the "Y"! Crying my little 21 year old heart out! ( I am now in my early fifties!)It took some time for me to get over Mr. Parker, But I actually remember when and where it was...Cross country skiing with my sis and her hubs in a meadow in Lake Tahoe..and may I say it felt so good to laugh you know the real belly laugh..I can't remember what made me laugh..But I do know it was when I knew I was done and over Mr.Parker. Now down the road, a very long road I know it was for the best! Because I married a man who really loves me for me.! He isn't perfect but he is perfect for me!
Best wishes Natalie!
Susy Balaz
My brother dated a girl for five years. We all loved her! He wanted to marry her and was more than crushed when she got engaged to someone else. He is now 26 and has finally found someone that has blown her out of the water!! We never thought it would happen but it did:) It's all worth it!
I don't know why, but isn't it always comforting to know someone else is going through exactly the same thing you are? I loved when you said, "Did I make this up?" Because I think I ask myself that question at least 5 times a day...STILL...and it has been 8 months! I so needed it this morning. You are wonderful and I just adore you.
Thanks for sharing! I can not count the number of blog posts I have written, then deleted shortly after to prevent myself from sounding like such a "downer". I just expressed to my coworker and fellow blogger how sometimes I am sick of reading the blogs about "life is great, family is perfect, so in love..etc" Theres true depth and real life in your posts and so I thank you for sharing. Not because you sound "down" but because it's real. You share enough to make me smile, think deeper, and feel with you. Hope you have a fab weekend because you sure are fab in my book, happy or sad! :) :)
I don't think it ever goes completely away once you have loved someone...the sharp pain that makes you cry does...but the sadness at what might have been and for the sweet memories that are still there will still make you a little glum many years later. It is normal and part of this earthly experience. But someday, instead of making you sad, it will make you grateful for the true loves in your life. Wishing you many more "good days"...
I need some of these magical dark glasses of which you speak....and for a cultural shift that would allow me to wear them whilst working.
It sounds like in spite of everything that you're right where you're supposed in the whole getting over 'it' scheme of things. It is hard to let go of love and then not feel the heartach of doing so every day.
It does take time and sometimes the amount of time it takes to get over someone is equal to the amount you were together. Although, there was this one guy once...
Take deep breaths, keep moving forward and you'll get there.
I believe we must of had the same day...if it is in the water or air I am going to stop drink and breathing. Best of Luck. See my post - http://carrie4prez.blogspot.com/
my soul mate broke up with me three months ago--completely blind sided me and i found out a week later he had cheated on me via a message from a female who goes to the same university as him. it's hard because i love him still and i ache daily. and i don't know if i'll ever be ok because right now (even though i do have good days) the majority of my thoughts are still captivated by him.
it's ok to mourn.
heartbreak is like (just generally speaking) this kind of self-indulgence (in a good way) where you need to just give yourself over to the pain, and not be afraid of it-- and that there is beauty in that. nat, if you're not ready to be done grieving- DON'T be done grieving. just put a lot of prayer and reflection into yourself, and take all the you time, and all that one-on-one time with just your heart and God. You will come out so strong, and so fearlessly loving (to the right guy) if you do.
we both will get through this. we both will be ok.
you are loved by this heartbroken sister.
Oh, Nat...your timing has literally been my timing. I loved my best friend who I was with always for three years. Your words do hit my very soul. I know the ache and the tears. I'm washing my eyes out by being so in depth in politics that I don't have time to think about him. and yet those moments still find you no matter how busy you are. And yet, OF COURSE HE LOVED YOU!!!! How could he possibly not- and of course he spent his time with you because he was amazed by this woman who dances flawlessly in the rain of life! I know mine loved me as well. But it takes a certain strength to be with a woman like you...and fear...oh fear... that darn old thing...men succumb so tragicaly. But someday it WILL NOT WIN! Love you, Happiness
I hate to say this, but I am going through a divorce and have come to feel that a relationship is a nice accessory, but that I don't need to accessorize.
Thanks for this! Just broke up with my bf too and we still get to see each other at church, in our a capella group, and in a musical we're both in. Woo Hoo! Hang in there!
By the way-you are hilarious. I love your blog. :)
I COMPLETELY WILL. i'm so glad i came across this post when i did...
you let me know too! x
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