auditioning subletters was a pretty hilarious experience....
a 55+ yr old borderline fugly banker came to view the apartment.
he: wow! there's a lot of girl s*#t in here!
me: well, yeah... i'm a girl. this is where i live.
he: i'm just worried if i bring a woman home.... i don't want her to think i'm a f#*!
me: .... as long as you're not wearing my high heels, i'm sure there'll be no problem there...
(a bigot, yes.... you're not cute enough to be gay )
he: here's the deal. i'm separated from my wife (no kidding...)
and i need a place to.... you know.
(PLEASE no sex on my virgin mattress!!)
i immediately decide he will NOT be "...you knowing" in my apartment.
later, via email
he: i actually found a place that was longer term so that's better for me....but when you're back in the city, i'd love to take you for dinner, drinks, whatever!
"whatever" = "... you know?"