auditioning subletters was a pretty hilarious experience....
my favorite:
a 55+ yr old borderline fugly banker came to view the apartment.
he: wow! there's a lot of girl s*#t in here!
me: well, yeah... i'm a girl. this is where i live.
he: i'm just worried if i bring a woman home.... i don't want her to think i'm a f#*!
me: .... as long as you're not wearing my high heels, i'm sure there'll be no problem there...
(a bigot, yes.... you're not cute enough to be gay )
he: here's the deal. i'm separated from my wife (no kidding...)
and i need a place to.... you know.
(PLEASE no sex on my virgin mattress!!)
i immediately decide he will NOT be "...you knowing" in my apartment.
***
later, via email
he: i actually found a place that was longer term so that's better for me....but when you're back in the city, i'd love to take you for dinner, drinks, whatever!
call me!
does
"whatever" = "... you know?"
no vacancy.
image here
16 comments:
wow... "you know"
wow.
and if I were you I probably would have played stupid just to get a reaction. "no, i don't know.... what?"
baaaahahahaha that made my night!
I still can't believe he actually asked to take you out!
oh my gosh, creepy.....but hilarious!!
you are hilarious.
Good day to you, you funny writer. Your post gave me a good laugh.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
yuck.
I need to go brush my teeth now and have a swish of listerine.
That was just yucky.
OH EM GEE!!!
wow. Classy dude.
I guess we have viagra to thank for this guy... Maybe a new slogan for them:
"Viagra, helping dirty old dudes 'you know' since 1998"
Yikers. That's pretty gross. Thanks for sharing because his desperate and pathetic attempts to "you know" you made me laugh out loud!
Ew.
that post just sent shivers up and down my spine ew yuck!
You mean ur not gonna take him up on his offer?? think of all the "you knows" you'll be missing out on!! :)
This post is hilarious . . I literally just L'ed O L. Brilliant!
that was great! thanks for sharing...word for word!
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